I have no way of keeping this short and sweet. yall have to know the whole story before you can help me. I will sum it up the best it can. When i started dating my now hubs my stepdaughter was 4. she was a typical little child. she instantly loved me and i was told by several members of the family that she didnt take to her dads girlfriends so quickly. Now, it was a while before my hubs introduced me to his daughter bc he had to get to know me of course. well we got married after she turned 5 and she still loved me. We only had her every other weekend and we payed her mom child support. Well we started noticing when it was time for her to go back to her mothers house she would cry and say, "I dont want to go home to mommy.". i still remember this bc it shot me for a loop. we started realizing that her mom was goin from one boyfriend to another quickly and taking her children around them having barely know them herself. and goin from one place to another. well when ansley was in first grade, her mom would bring her to us on our weekend and be gone for weeks at a time and never call or answer our calls. imagine how hard it is to look a child in the face and say "baby idk where mommy is." when she asks. now we didnt mind having her all this time bc we knew is she was with us she was safe. well she would came back and get her and 3 days later do the same thing. meanwhile we are still paying her child support but only half of it bc her would have her most of the time. but legally we had to pay her bc she sitll had custody. This wwemt on until she was in the 3rd grade steady getting worse. we went to a lawyer but they couldnt do nothing. they told us kust bide our time. well at the beginning of her 3rd grade yr we were the ones filling out the paperwork for school and buying uniforms and all that. well that same month that school started her mother turned herself in bc there was a warrant out for her arrest and she had been addicted to perscription meds and had been all this time. we knew something was goin on but didnt know that. so when her other went to jail we were granted custody of my stepdaughter and we would take her to see her mom where she ccould only talk to her over a tv screen and through a phone. Imagine this baby goin through all this. we were loving and caring and did anything we could for this baby. mostly me bc her dad was usuallly working, well i had a baby before her mother was arrested and my stepdaughter was awsome she has always wanted a brother and she got one. well she was still living with us and all this time her mother had gone to rehab and got out around christmas of that year and by january she was back in rehab. she had gotten out agian after that and got sent back. well by the end of that summer she was out and doing well and i was pregnant again with another son. at the beginning of my stepdaughters 4th grade school year we sill had custody of ansely and still did all the paperwork and stuff like that. her mother would get her every other weekend and every Wed. and everything was great. also her mother had gotten her a cell phone that year jsut so that when she called she called she would get to talk to my stepdaughter. i had no problem with that at all. well one day my stepdaughter and my older son which was 1 were playing in her bedroom and watching cartoons. well i asked her if they wanted to come into the living room with me and the then newborn. she told me that they would just stay in her bedroom since i was trying to put the baby to sleep. well after i finally got him to go back to sleep she opened her door and they came bursting out screaming and yelling and being loud. Now granted it is loud in this house. im loud her brothers are loud she is loud. saomeones always yelling or squeeling. im also very blunt im not mean just blunt. i knew this was not intentional so with the little bit of sanity i had left i asked my stepdaughter loudly are you staying in your room or are you coming out here baby. she said she would stay in her room and not thinking nothin else of it i went on. a few minutes later i remembered i needed my hubs to pick uo something before he came home so iasked to use her phone bc i didnt have one at that time. she handed it to me already dialing her dad. when i got off the phone it went straight to her txts. she was txting her mom telling her that i was being mean to her saying that i told her to go to her room and not come out, and that i was scaring her. she was tattling to her mother on me. she was telling on me to her mother. after i composed myself for a minute i went to her room and asked her what this was while still holding the phone. she looked like a deer in the headlights. i called her dad and made her do nothing but sit on the couch and think for the rest of the day. when her dad got home he looked at it and had a talk with her about how what goes on in this hoouse is our business and she will never tattle to her mother and him or me. and i am just as much her parent as him or her mother. so for a while everything was great. she was just a child again. well at the beginning of her 5th grade year, we still had custody and her mother talked to us about letting her have more time with my stepdaughter bc she missed her so much and my stepdaughter missed her mother so much. so we talked about it together me and hubs and we all came to a routine that everyone agreed on finally. it took about a week. this is when things started turning upside down. we moved into our new house that could hold all of us and with it came chores. all she has to do is clean her room and up her clothes and she can watch her tv, but not until that is done. if she is watching it before thats done it gets taken away from her. and when she is here she washes the dishes she helps to dirty. usually its only about 12 dishes at the end of the day. she is NOT allowed to be on her phone unless her mom calls her until the dishes are done. bc she will literally stay on it all day instead of goin outside and playing like a normal 10 yr old. mind you its not just txting, she has a facebook and snapchat and pinterest, and somethings i dont even know about. this is not ok with her dad and me but if we make her delete it her mom will let her make another one. but she is not supposed to be on her phone until thats done. if she is caught on it before dished are done then it will get taken away until she goes back to her mothers. well recently, her mother has owed us moeny since January and now its JUne and we have been told every week since then that she is getting it and bringing it to us. thres always a complication that ocurs just before she brings it. anyway, she has now had my stepdaughter goin on 10 days. and the other day i had a missed call from i number i didnt recognize and i called it back and i found out it was my stepdaughter. i had her on speaker and had several things goin on at one time and i was loud bc i couldnt here her over everything else goin on. i was not being mean or ugly just loud. well i asked her when her mom was bringing her home and she said she didnt know and that her mom wasnt in the state. so that added to my stress level. bc all my hubs had said all day was that she was coming home that day. so i told her what he said. that i didnt care if she went to the movie with her friend or not but the girls mother needede to bring her home after the movie and the child kept trying to talk over me. so finally agrevated i said to her loudly, "I am not goin to tell you again baby. you need to come home after themovie. well next thing i know her mom is txting me saying how upset her daughter is and how she did not appreciate how i talked her. well i called ansley back and asked to spoeak to the adult and my stepdaughter in no way shape or fform saounded like she was crying to me. well i tried to explain to her mother waht had went on and all she did was tell me how ugly i was to her child and i wasnt. so then she txts me again being a *itch not listening to what i sent her. just not even acgnowledging it. so by the time all our txts were through.i was so done with it that i was ready to pack up my boys and leave my hubs that i love just so i dont have to deal with her. her daughter acted that way just like she did before and this time succeeded in causing problem. im almost ready to call off her party that ive planned for this child since march bc its something she wanted so badly. please someone help me. my hubs took my side and told me just to ignore her from now on.