This is your BF's problem, not yours. You are under no obligation to let ANYONE drive your car. Just say, "NO."

Personally, I think your car is not alone in being used and abused in this situation.

My SD22 didn't even get her DL until she was about 20 and she was married by then. But had the situation been different, she would not have been driving either of our cars, nor would we have carried her on our insurance. Just too risky.

I don't trust very many people to drive my car. Anything can happen and then I'm screwed. Sure, the car is insured but I am still out money and inconvenienced by having to get it fixed, or replaced, or maybe now I'm getting sued. Maybe my insurance company drops me. No, thanks.

Here is what we do. I have a BS19 who is at college. He uses the third car when he is home from school. SS15 gets his license next month. He will use the car when he wants. Must have A and B average to drive it to school. They must pay the fees for parking at school and pay their own gas. We don't. We maintain it and pay the insurance. DH and I split it. When we added BS, it went up 1K a year.

Now, if SS seems to really use the car and BS19 really needs the car next year at school, the plan is I buy a new car (which I want to anyway) and give BS mine and SS gets the third car, which is a small truck. No back seat, better for HS kids. It will be fairer for DH on the insurance when SS gets added since it was my bio and he was the only one and we split 50/50.

You do not have to let him drive your car. DH does, and he should have guidelines in place for it. For us, it was grades. If BS got mouthy, he lost it for the weekend. That was great....

My skids don't drive my car - only the oldest actually drives, but she's a horrible driver. No way.

As for insurance, I think it varies by state (and possibly by company?) so check with your own insurance company. In our case though, our insurance company said the only way we'd have to add the SD's to our insurance is if they live in our house. Otherwise we don't have to add them, and they'd still be covered if we let them borrow the car. (Yeah, it's a bit weird. Basically, we're insuring the car, not the driver. They base the rates off the licensed drivers who live in the house where the car is registered. But that insurance covers the car even if you lend it to your brother's girlfriend's cousin's friend. Anyone, in other words.)

Our insurance agent told us that in our state, as long as a driver is covered in the household they live in then they don't need to be covered on our car specifically. We insure our car, we insure ourselves as a liablility. Any other driver who drives our car is covered by our insurance for the car - their insurance for any liability. It's a bit messy but they did suggest that even though it's not required it would give us peace of mind to request proof from the other parent that child was added to their policy.

we've already decided that SD13 will never drive my fiance's car. ever.

mine's not even up for discussion.

we're pretty sure BM will buy her a car. good luck to her and her premiums.