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legality of moving away from BM

ally-bamagrl's picture
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Ok, Dh and myself are moving in a few weeks. I am curious as to if we HAVE to tell BM our address at all. In the CO all it says is " if the mother lives in a different county that the father she is responsible for transportation". Dh and myself DO NOT want her knowing where we live because she is slap crazy. So is it against court orders if he MEETS her to pick up and drop off SS9? As long as she has a phone number to reach Dh and SS9 incase of emergency we are good right? I am filing a restraining order against her as well for harassment so she wouldnt be allowed at our home anyway (just wanted to let that be known to for an accurate answer). We live in the state of GA incase you need that as well.

ally-bamagrl's picture

Well we will tell her we moved but do we have to say where as in address is what I and Dh want to know. He wants to just say somethin to the effect of "we moved and I do not live in the same county as you. You are responsible for transportation per CO but I am willing to meet you in (whatever area) to pick up and drop off" we just dont want her to know where our house is because she is notorious for showing up unannounced even when SS9 is not with us just to argue in front of SS to make DH look like he doesnt care for his BS. She moved and waited 3 months to tell us (even though we already knew because DHs fam is buddy buddy with her. (And he doesnt have a relationship with his fam so they also will not know where we live so he said anyway).

ally-bamagrl's picture

I am confused. :? Pulled what crap? Not telling you an address so you couldnt show up to cuss fight and argue in front of 3 kidssince it would be innkids best iinterest or the crap she pulls?

Bio-Step-Mom's picture

He's 9? He WILL tell his mom that you moved. And it would be in short order that she will find out your address.

ally-bamagrl's picture

Here is the other thin BM is already denying visitatiinby way of blocking visitation. Dh and bm DO NOT get along, she is planning on moving to ellijay and didnt tell dh. She tried to play off her previous move by making dh pick up ss9 at his nanas house which is where they used to live and drop him off there as well. Its not like we wont tell her we moved to whatever area. We just dont want to give her the address to prevent further arguments infront of our kids and SS9. Its about all of the kids best interest not the adults. I dont speak to bm at all and walk away if she starts yelling at me. She already doesnt tell us her adress but expects us to tell her everything. We had to google her address because she refused to give it to dh for court papers to be mailed to her.

ally-bamagrl's picture

And if we dont tell her where we live (as in directions to our house) then she cant google it either. Ss9 might tell her what the house looks like but he cant even remember his own address let alone someone elses.

Anon2009's picture

If you don't give her your address, ss will. Kids talk. I can guarantee you that. So my advice would be to give her the address. If she harasses you, get a restraining order and do exchanges at a police station.

If your dh wants to know where his kid lives he should let bm know the address said kid will be visiting.

ally-bamagrl's picture

I understand that. My whole thing is if I do get a restraining order and she is not allowed there anyway why does she have to know exact address? She has had others drive by our house etc. I DO NOT TALK TO HER. She tries to say things to me and dh steps in and tells her there is NO REASON for her and I to have contact at all. Which I agree we shouldnt. But for my childrens safety since she has made threats to dh and all I want a restraining order. I dont know if I can or will get it but I will cross that bridgr when I get there. Thanks for all the advice. I am pretty sure she will get our address one way or another but dh doesnt want her to have it at all. Its not me that cares. He does and that is why I asked on here and why he is asking a lawyer.

ally-bamagrl's picture

No. She never gives an address she gives a city she lives in. She never tells us where he is goingnwhennthey go on vaca or out of town for weekend either. Dh looks at it like when he is with her ss is her responsibility and visa versa. He will tell her what city and offer to meet half way so she doesnt do ALL the driving for pick up and drop off. When we have ss now (even though she lives2 steets behind us...which is also why we know where she lives besides her directions for dh to finally drop ss off at his house instead of grandparents house)bm is never around. She leaves town everytime we have him so I assume she is thinking the same as dh.

kontan's picture

Have to agree, crazy or not she is the BM and should have the address. I would love for the skids bm to not know where we live, but her kids are there so it is her right as a mother to know where her kids are. If my ex ever thought about taking my kids somewhere that I could not get to them if I felt it was strongly necessary he wouldn't have unspervised visitation ever again.

Rags's picture

Eventually you are going to have to give up the new address. Either directly to BM or to the court and she will get the information anyway.

Manage it as you wish but eventually she will get your address.

Good luck.

BethAnne's picture

I am be very ignorant in these matters but surely in order to have a restraining order served the person who has to abide by it needs to know which address(es) they need to avoid? So even with the RO she will get your address. (I could very well be wrong with this, just a thought).