rookie here to the site... ** CANT STAND MY SK's at all i wanna bash my head off a f'ing wall!!! **
I have to terrible step kids who I cant stand at all, the mere presence of them instantly makes me mad. they're 6 (boy) and8 (girl). the 6 yr old isn't as bad, but the 8 yr old I DESPISE!!! she is snotty, rude, entitled, one of the biggest B%#^h's I have ever had to deal with. nothing is EVER good enough, whether it be the food I cook, the clothes I buy, the pictures I put on the walls in their room, it just doesn't matter, its not good enough for her. she also LOVES repeating the disgusting things her mother says, and thinks its cute. she also thinks its okay to dis-respect adults with 0 consequences because shes the "princess". she is mean, hits her brother, lies CONSTANTLY, and screams in your face and REFUSES TO FOLLOW SIMPLE REQUESTS! back in March, their father and I had a child, and shes made comments like that's not my brother ( thanks to her mother) the 6 yr old said I hope the baby dies when hes being born, and also screams, yells, and any type of discipline is refuses by the both of them and it becomes an hour screaming match to get them to sit in there room with out them barging out or hitting the doors. the girls likes to scream and yell at you to shut the hell up and youre not my mom I don't have to listen to you, and my mom doesn't like you! its also made very clear im not allowed in the car when these wonderful children are brought home because I cant be on the property.. ( now mind you after 4 years of this the mother is still this ridiculous and CHILDISH) when these brats arrive, im instantly mad, I have an attitude, hide, or work all weekend, and I know apart of me is selfish for saying this but I don't want them around my 3 month old. they scream and yell in front of him, but if I tell them to go away im the a-hole.. I surly don't want my son to grow up thinking this is acceptable behavior. idk what to do, its going to ruin my relationship and that's not what I want, but he just tells me to grow up and ignore it.... help! what do other step moms do in situations like this????
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Sounds like maybe it would
Sounds like maybe it would not be a bad idea to get your own place for a while, just to have a peaceful place for you and your baby. You and your husband need counseling and now! Nobody should have to live in an environment like that.
Wow that is horrible behavior
Wow that is horrible behavior from both the skids and your DH! I'm so sorry for your situation.
Sounds like the most important thing right now is the well being and proper upbringing of your 3 month old. Though young, he will be impressionable soon. Talk to you DH. Tell him everything about how you feel. You are doing this for the well being of your child. Tell him if the skids don't shape up and be respectable in the next few months to a year, that you are gone.
There is NO reason you should have to live in a such a toxic environment and try to raise a child in it as well.
IGNORE IT? What the Hell is
IGNORE IT? What the Hell is that all about? How did you think that having a kid would make this better? How do you think that this relationship is going to be saved?
Start with a family counselor preferably one that specializes in step-kid and divorces if possible. If husband won't go then go alone. After a few sessions the counselor will want to see him, perhaps alone, perhaps both of you together. If he refuses tell him his attendance is required if the marriage is to be saved. His response to you will tell you if he's interested enough or you're just the maid, cook and sex partner. Frankly that's why many men re-marry - to gain the domestic help.
Be prepared for a answer you don't want to hear but if he can't get these kids under control you're going to have to leave for your own sanity and your kids well being.
Okay I know I sound like a
Okay I know I sound like a broken record (cause I've said this many times) BUT...
#1 Decide if your marriage is worth fighting for. If it's not, then cut your losses and leave. It if it...
#2 Get out your halo, polish it up, put it on. Get in your husband's good graces. Show him your vulnerability and let him know how much it hurts you when she yells at you, how it wounds you to not get to drive with him to pick them up (after all, you're supposseeddd to be a fammmillyyyy). Cry big crocodile tears if it helps. You are the victim here, but you're not getting the sympathy because you appear to be the Big Bad Wolf.
#3 Wear your crown whenever you're alone with stepbrat. Impose natural consequences for their behavior. Don't like the clothes I buy you, SD? Then your dad can buy your clothes from now on. Don't like the pictures on the wall? How about a blank wall? Or pictures she'll TRULY hate (blinking innocently at DH... why doesn't she like anything I do for herrrr????)
Play her game, only play it better and win.
Oh... and welcome to the Wicked Stepmother's Club.
Mahahaha!
Tell him to grow up and
Tell him to grow up and parent. Good grief. You need to take charge of your home. If you let little kids behave this way, exactly what kind of teenagers and young adults do you think you are going to have on your hands in about 4 years? You haven't lived until you've had a 12 year old girl elbow you like I have. Nip it now or you will become a dead-eyed drudge.
If you do divorce this man, which is not unlikely, get the courts involved in the custody and speak up about the half-siblings behavior. Hopefully the courts will insist on supervised visits so your little son will not be harmed by these unregulated older and bigger kids.
BTW, you're concerned about
BTW, you're concerned about being "selfish" for not wanting them around your fragile infant? Are you nuts? Yes, in fact I think your husband has done a number on you for you to even think that way at all.
It is unlikely but if a baby did come to me and my DH I would never ever let my SD15 alone with the baby. Not even one second in the same room together without me present.
wow everyone, I wasn't sure
wow everyone, I wasn't sure what kind of replies or how quikly I would receive them so I just want to take a minute to say thank you, it really sort of helps knowing im not the only person going through something like this.
I have done anything I can to try and get him to do something, he ALWAYS says I take them every other weekend, im not going to make their time here miserable... okay BUT by allowing them to be the monsters they are, youre setting them up for failure because they are going to think they can act like this in the real world and when she is 16, pregnant, and snotty... then what? im 24 years old, and I can remember back to that age, and I did speak to me mom that way thinking I was funny... lord did I pay for that. these kids think theyre god, they expect a new toy any where we go, or they cry, and throw fits. these kids have ipads for goodness sakes... I pay over $1000 in rent alone each month, I CAN NOT afford to buy expensive crap like that ( nor do I think kids that young should have that stuff, its VERY breakable and EXPENSIVE), and with their mother living off the state, she has the means to do so, so when I cant afford a $24 dollar teddy bear... its a fight, the SD wont eat anything other then peanut butter and fluff, or anything that's not 100% sugar... the newest is she doesn't like potatoes... she can sure wolf down French fries from McDonalds. eat chips all day long... but it its bakes or mashed shepouts like a toddler and tries to throw it away or feed it to my dog. apart of me wants him to not take his children here, bring them to his mothers for the few days theyre here because I cant deal with it. maybe my patience is just worn so thin that I don't care anymore. I just feel like a psycho. I even went to my doctor to try and get medication, and they said there is no meds for not liking someone... I kind of laughed.
What is your H doing about
What is your H doing about this problem? How is he correcting his children? How is he standing up for you?
Quite frankly the problem isn't your skids. It's your H for not having the spine or testicles to lay it out to his kids that this behavior will NOT be tolerated.
Right now, stop buying things for them
Second, your H is in charge of cooking and cleaning when they are there.
Third, drag his dumb ass into marriage counseling. The other problem is he is completely disregarding your relationship and marriage.
I'm sorry you're going through this, and it's always easy to blame the skids. But they are not the issue here. Yes their crappy behavior is driving you batty but your H is doing nothing about it. HE is the problem with your skids and with your marriage.
I'm sure you guys might not
I'm sure you guys might not believe in spanking, but if you guys aren't going to spank them then you'd better figure something else out. Stop giving punishments that they can actually REFUSE. Like others have said though, your DH needs to step up.
My grandkid acts the same way because SD24 doesn't believe in spanking. Well guess what, I do and if he's going to be in our house acting like a damn fool, he's getting his butt spanked whether SD24 likes it or not. Surprise, surprise, I'm the only one our grandson really listens to.
I cant stop laughing at your
I cant stop laughing at your reply!! lol
I have actually recorded some of her behavior, and I plan to continue to .. and I have thought abou posting it on youtube and having it sent to her mother. she is a little shit who believes she is self entitled and I fantasize about putting her head through a wall, along with some Melatonin put into a cookie and giving it to her. when she speaks, its not speaking, its WHINING! instead of asking "may I have a drink?" its a whined out sentence in a nasal voice that makes me cringe when she speaks.