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Need some motivation

PolyMom's picture

Submitted by PolyMom on Tue, 07/15/2014 - 9:16pm

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Family Court

So we're in crunch time. We have just over a month before court, and have plenty to end this after 3 years of nightmarish hell. BM has recently pulled her same old garbage, so it will be very easy to show that she should not have custody. I'm in a place where I'm not sure if she's serious, and truly thinks she has a shot at full custody (which is doubtful, when SS11 was absent from school almost 4 weeks, and tardy almost 5 weeks total this year, all on her time), or if she's pursuing this because she wants to play martyr and doesn't actually want them anymore.

SO here we are. Our lawyer's advice was to look over all the documentation, which sums up about a 300 page novel of stuff, not to mention hours of phone conversations and videos. It covers every last event from when all of this started. And every day I think about this, but I'm just not getting motivated to look it over. We have a lot on our plate with DH's health right now....psoriatic arthritis, drugs caused a melanoma this year...regular infusions of his medication and the constant pain and aggravation that goes with it foremost on our minds. I know we need to be more focused, but I feel like we've been on a sprint with this case for 3 years now, and we've both run out of energy for it. SS11 will undoubtedly fail out of school if he continues living the 50/50 arrangement, b/c BM won't check his homework, and it's impossible to police him and get him into a good routine this way.

Advice?

stuck_in_the_middle's picture

Submitted by stuck_in_the_middle on Tue, 07/15/2014 - 11:06pm

Have you tried taking your step-son to see a therapist who might be able to provide a helpful affadavit? Do you have correspondence with his teachers mentioning the fact that he's not doing well on his homework (which you can then use to prove that she isn't checking it when he's with her)??

PolyMom's picture

Submitted by PolyMom on Tue, 07/15/2014 - 11:53pm

Actually, the skids are in therapy. BM was bringing them until we went to court last year, and the therapist said BM was emotionally unstable. The judge ordered a forensic psych evaluation, which totally backfired on us, so we dropped it. Ever since then, the skids suddenly "Hate" the family therapist, meaning BM does. Therapist still agree with us. BM is taking DH to court this time, claiming he's been taking the kids to therapist in secret, when the reality is BM declared she'd never bring them back, despite the court order, and cut all means of DH communicating with her for 6 months.

stuck_in_the_middle's picture

Submitted by stuck_in_the_middle on Wed, 07/16/2014 - 1:07am

Ah...well can you get an affadavit from the therapist to that effect?

PolyMom's picture

Submitted by PolyMom on Wed, 07/16/2014 - 7:36am

Oh yeah. I think this is all going to boil down to, is our proof (which there is PLENTY OF) enough to gain full custody as opposed to keeping things the way they've been the past 18 months. In our favor:
the family therapist
monstrous videos, audios, txts, emails and police reports
medical and educational documents stating step-dad is the skids father, proving DH was left out of the loop
the fact that the comments and the alienation have not stopped
SS11's failing grades at school, coupled with too many absences and tardies from BM's house

In favor of 50/50:
The law guardian has preferred the 50/50 in the past, (don't know where she stands now)
The forensic evaluation states BM should have them (based on a one time meeting with the parents and no use of collaterals, our lawyer is going to shred this apart)
Biggest problem is BM stopped raving like a lunatic, and they're communicating better now...but still not 50/50 communication-worthy. They aren't fighting every time, she still makes her digs, and he ignores them, and the kids are much better off emotionally now, but SS11 is still failing in school, despite being highly intelligent.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 07/16/2014 - 10:40am

You are so close to winning and shredding BM that it would be a shame to run out of steam this close to the finish. Remember, barring the ass of the toxic blended family oppostion is one of the true joys of Sparenting. Biggrin

At least is was for me. Destroying my SKids toxic Sperm Clan was my primary entertainment for many,many years. I was very good at it.

So, enjoy what you are obviosly good at. I would review the 300pgs and put a summary together so that if the judge or opposing counsel accepts in at face value that your attorney can easily put summary information in to questions to BM when she is on the stand.

Have fun!!!! }:)

I hope your DH is feeling better. Winning this will be a big energy boost for both of you I am sure.