Pictures - his kids/my kids
I feel bad even posting this as so many of you have wayyyy bigger problems than this, but it's something that just has gotten under my skin and is really bothering me and if any of you have a similar problem, I would love to hear how you solved this. This is more of a vent than anything, so just thanks all for listening.
Dh and I have had this reocurring argument about family pictures. We live in a 2 floor condo we bought together and noone ever goes in the basement except adult kids when they're home. Obviously, as a mother, I have many nice pictures of MY 4 daughters, but dh has few of his 3 sons. Long story short, my DD28 is getting married this year and, for Christmas, gave me a beautiful 8 X 10 engagement picture of her and my future SIL. Dh made me put any pictures on the first floor on an old entertainment center which has been sold and is leaving our home this wekk, so I put them on a table in our living room area. Whe dh got home from a business trip the other he immediately texted me at work and said that if pictures weren't "equal" that we'd have NONE on our first floor! UGH I told him to go into any of our neighbors homes (mostly retirees) and you'd see special "life event" pictures of their kids and grandkids on their first floor. I told him to look again...I DID make it fair. I believe it's my DD28's engagement picture he takes issue with because it's an 8 X 10 and bigger than the rest and that deep down he's jealous of my kids because they're normal and his kids aren't (all have mental issues) and have/do abuse drugs. I told him if his DS31 and his ex were still married, we'd have THEIR wedding picture upstairs also. It's so frustrating to me because I have so many beautiful pictures of my girls I can't display because he doesn't have all the nice pictures I have. I think this is so unfair and honestly, do not understand why he is taking issue with it. Granted, his boys are a major dissappointment to him AND me, but if his kids were normal and we had professional pics of them, I certainly wouldn't mind displaying them. So, what's HIS problem. I've taken all pics down on the first floor, but am still not happy about it. 
He wishes he had normal kids
He wishes he had normal kids and seeing pictures of your normal kids just reminds him that he doesn't.
We actually do have an 8 X 10
We actually do have an 8 X 10 of our entire family which was taken at our wedding reception at our house. I don't even like it. His sons don't look good and my girls do. I disliked it so much, I never did put it in a frame. Dh even had to buy 2 of his sons decent clothes for that day. I did have two 5 X 7's up for a time - one of me and my 4 girls and one of him and his sons, but put them in the basement. Believe me...the Brady Bunch we are not. Honestly, I wish I would have married someone with normal kids who went to college, got married, etc...
I agree, heriam...that that's the problem...my kids just remind dh of what he doesn't have with HIS kids and doesn't want it in his face. I get that. But, how is that fair to ME?
Yup. I agree with goodtimes.
Yup. I agree with goodtimes. Put the picture up and tell DH to grow up.
Give each of your bios and
Give each of your bios and skids a picture of you and DH. If they display your picture in their house, you display their picture in yours. SD gave us BIG pictures of she and hubby to put up but I noticed none of the pictures that I sent her of DH and I were ever up in her house. This could have been because of BM but it worked to my advantage when I could tell DH I never saw our picture up in SD's house. So those BIG pictures of SD and her hubby got lost in a closet somewhere and DH could not say anything. LOL I put pictures of my family over my desk which is my territory.
If DH did not capture the
If DH did not capture the Kodak moments with his spawn that you have with your spawn then that is on him. Not displaying your pics because he does not have as many is just juvenile of him IMHO.
Put the pics where you wish and when DH plays the "if pictures weren't "equal" that we'd have NONE on our first floor" card then give him clarity that your pics will be displayed regardless of how many of his are displayed and if he wants pic equality then he better get to snapping.
Why blended family marriages struggle so much with this kind of petty crap is beyond me.
I have had a similar problem.
I have had a similar problem. Ysd (her mom passed away has pictures of her mom in every room. Even has their wedding picture displayed in the dinning room. It is her house; not my business. However, if dh told me I couldn't display my kids pics in our home, I would do what I wanted. End of discussion.
I put up pictures of my boys.
I put up pictures of my boys. I had quite a few but none of DH's kids. I felt bad. I asked him if he wanted to get any pictures of them to display and he said "no". I was surprised as I found 8x10's of them when they were young. I like my SS's and I can't stand my SD but I would be happy to display her picture if that was what DH wanted. My DH just doesn't see it as a big deal. In fact SD disowned us so I'm sure he doesn't want to look at her picture as it is a reminder of how badly she's treated us, her lies and manipulations. We just moved and if I find the pictures of his sons I will frame them and display them but I won't display SD's unless I am asked to due to our situation with her. I don't want my DH to have to look at her nasty face. I'm sorry that your DH is acting like this. If he wants equal pictures up on the walls then I like the suggestion that I read above; go get professional pictures taken of everyone and display them. I think your DH is being silly. I would think that if his brats are toxic wastelands like my SD then he wouldn't want to look at them. If your kids have treated him with respect and kindness (which I suspect they have) I can't think of a single good reason why he would be opposed to displaying their pictures. Does he act like this about Xmas presents? Everyone has to have the equal number of gifts and you have spent the same amount on everyone down to the penny? Sounds like nonsense to me.
It IS nonsense. Dh came home
It IS nonsense. Dh came home early last night from a business trip. I was gone to a friend's and was surprised to see him home. I had put my DD28's engagement on a table in our living room where I could enjoy it while he was gone. When I got home last night, he had put it down. UGHHHHHH I told him he was childish, but took it back in our bedroom by my side of the bed. Dh definitely has serious issues when it comes to his kids vs. my kids. And yes...he feels we have to be fair with all our kids (7) as in...spending the same amount on each at Christmas. He did say that in regards to the pictures, it's like looking at the poor kids (his) vs. the rich kids (mine). He needs to just suck it up, but I doubt that'll ever happen. What a baby.
In my home my wife has many,
In my home my wife has many, many photos of her four children and son in laws in the living room. None of my two children and family. Not even one of the two of us. I have four pictures total of my two children and many of the skids in my sunroom/TV room. The ratio is about 18 to 4. Far from equal but I see no need of making a big deal over it. Does not bother much.
The only thing that does bother me some is that the only picture of my wife and I is kept in our bedroom. One picture on our wedding day. Only picture of us in the whole house. If it was in the living room or sunroom it offends the skids so it has to be kept out of sight in the bedroom. I am always excluded in their photos. That's ok, they will be excluded from a hansom six figure sum or money when I die. I will not reward that kind of treatment.
The nasty SD and her husband {A-HOLES} has a 15X15 hanging on our wall in the living room. She demanded it be put there. My wife obeyed.
I don't say anything as life is hard enough with step kids without making issues out of this. Makes me feel better when I go past the picture and give it the middle finger. I do this quite often. A stress reliever.
I agree with you all that my
I agree with you all that my dh is a big baby about this issue. I believe he just doesn't want it "in his face" how normal MY children are in comparison to his. So, I have my DD28's engagement picture on the floor by MY side of the bed where I can look at it any time I want. There is also a 5X7 of my girls in our eating area which he hasn't mentioned or maybe hasn't noticed it's there. Anyway, the argument happened the day before dh and I hosted a dinner party for his parents and 2 sets of aunts and uncles. As soon as they came to the door, I pulled out the engagement picture and put it out for display. OF COURSE I showed it off to the relatives! I'm PROUD of my DD28 and her fiancé and am VERY excited about their upcoming wedding! As soon as everyone left, I put it back in the bedroom. Dh never said a word. So, I guess that's just the way it's gonna be. Sad, but true. The only thing he holds against my DDs is the disrespect they've showed me in the last few years since we met. He's hated it. Things are getting better now that my DDs have matured, but I do believe he just doesn't want my normal children in his face every day.
Your DH's comments really
Your DH's comments really make no sense. I've been married 15 years. My sister never has. Does that mean my parents can't display my wedding photos until she does? I also have a SD and a DS. Neither of their photos can go up because my sister doesn't have children? Really? How far do you take this?