***Fed Up, Husband Called BM Pet Name!
I am absolutely disgusted, hurt, extremely angry... Numb with one foot out the door!
The BM called my husband with a sad song and the he's a been neglectful of his child bc we hadn't been able to get him for about 2 weeks or so. And that she lacks a sitter for the week (as school isn't back in)and so on. In the midst of this he's explaining things and says, "Well, yes BABY I understand....." and I'm only steps away. :jawdrop: It's like how do you react to that..? Throw something, attack, try to talk calmly... I tried the latter and the explanation---"It's no big deal. It meant nothing, I didn't mean to." I call major BS---that came from somewhere! A simple verbal apology just DOES NOT bring any consolation or closure to me on this one.
What do you guys think? Any ideas? Experiences? Tips?
I would flip the F out.
I would flip the F out. Sorry
Willow, I'm still teetering
Willow, I'm still teetering on the edge right now... I'm attempting to respond and not REACT to things but this---it's just too much!
I cannot make myself alright with it.
Catmom3, Yes and apparently
Catmom3,
Yes and apparently those 'nads have never left her pocketbook. SMDH! :sick:
(No subject)
:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
I would lose my fucking shit
I would lose my fucking shit if SO EVER called that knuckle dragging home wrecking swap cuntzilla anything other then her birth NAME.Fuck that!!!
She's an ungrateful twat that
She's an ungrateful twat that lacks properly PREpare for anything. She knew that summer was coming, that she has certain hours as does my husband---- he's at work to pay child support. I have an off and on schedule---but that's not my obligated to be impromptu childcare. You call yourself working around me and having him to have me do it---NO GO!
Yea ours is like that. She
Yea ours is like that. She wants her money and then some, but is FOREVER asking SO to take days off to take the kids to DR's appointments, or watch them if they are sick, and they are ALWAYS sick. Not really she just makes everything a big deal. SO doesn't get paid it he doesn't work. You don't have to be smart to figure out if he doesn't work he can't pay.
EXACTLY! But she figures if
EXACTLY! But she figures if he doesn't do the watching I will... NOT going to happen.
I've attempted to come out of
I've attempted to come out of such things... As I've been the person to go from 10-90 in a matter of seconds for quite some time! But, I'm just absolutely outdone with this number. It's been a long journey and I'm tired. That sh-t made me feel so small and disrespected, that it's indescribable.
BAHAHAHAHA.....SAME HERE IT'S
BAHAHAHAHA.....SAME HERE IT'S GOLD DIGGA
Forever Stacy married 3
Forever Stacy married 3 together for 7. He was off and on with her for some years and (unknown to me at the time) the first year and a half we were together. I immediately dropped him and after about a year we were back on track. In these last three she's been seeking out attention, throwing tantrums or trying to cause confusion and always tying it to the child.
I couldn't believe how simply
I couldn't believe how simply that word rolled from his lips... Then later he's trying to talk to me and says "Ba--" I looked towards him and said "MF don't you ever call me that!" He's 100% killed the word "baby" for me.
Oh my gosh!! I would go
Oh my gosh!! I would go absolutely crazy if my man did that! But the real question is...why the EFF is he explaining himself to that b!tch?! This foible is two-fold and should end with immediate revocation of phone privileges with BM. Email only. Fuck that.
Wow. I'm so angry for you right now, Queen!
He said, he felt he had to
He said, he felt he had to explain why he hadn't gotten the child bc "she was explaining what was going on... and saying how disappointed he's been bc he hasn't been able to come over and thinking we were going to get him and blah blah blah". That JUST DOESN'T GET IT FOR ME!
I'm the ONLY female that merits an explanation about anything.
Blayze that just doen't get it.
I think you NEED to flip out
I think you NEED to flip out on him. Are you usually calm? Rational? Like to talk things out? Then you need to have an adult tantrum of truly epic proportions. He seems to be thinking if he's calm and rational with you, this will just blow over, no harm no foul. You need to scare the ever loving crap out of him so that he's begging your forgiveness and swearing it will never happen again, instead.
Although... if you tend to be more of a yeller, then this time I'd go dead calm. Icy. Controlled. If he's used to you yelling, then THAT is what will scare the crap out of him.
AllySkoo.... I've been a nut
AllySkoo....
I've been a nut extreme proportions at times (slightly bipolar). Depending on which day you catch me I can be calm and level other times I go to extremes from which it's hard to return. This particular situation I'm at a split. I thought perhaps there were some super level calming people here, but some sound as if they'd have one of my psycho reactions, lol. I need no arson or assault cases; I dare not lose my career behind a cumbucket.
Not that I am bi-polar, but I
Not that I am bi-polar, but I lived with a girl who was for five years. I suggest, yeah even if this is premeditated, to do something harmlessly drastic.
Like if you have long hair or nails...go cut them short. Do something to change your physical appearance. ESPECIALLY if the change is one drastically different from BM. And when he asks why...
"Obviously if she's your baby, I don't want to be anything like her."
if that doesn't scare the ever living fuck out of him and let him know how damn serious you are, not amount of therapy or couples counsel will.
That's my idea anyway, please God take that with a grain of salt, only you really know what's appropriate here.
and don't do anything that will scare your doctor or anything that effects your health.
*lol* Yes to what MamaFox
I'll give you a minor example. When I was in college, I had been dating a guy pretty seriously. We went to the grocery store one day and he said something to me (can't for the life of me remember what!) that I found totally unacceptable. (An insult of some sort, I believe.) I am not generally given to extreme displays of emotion. Even-keeled, that's me! And I react slowly to things. So we leave the grocery store, and I've said nothing. Not a word. Whole way home, not a word. He starts to catch on that I'm not speaking to him, and tells me I'm being "immature". I park the car, SLAM the door, and start walking to the apartment. Now he's a bit more cautious, he's never seen me slam doors. I walk into the apartment, slam that door too, and lock it for good measure. He VERY carefully unlocks the door and opens it. An hour (a very quiet hour!) later he asks me if I'm going to be angry all night. "Yes. Yes, I am."
He started some serious grovelling!
It actually wasn't all that extreme, it was just VERY out of character for me. And with something like this, something THIS unacceptable, I think that's what's needed - you have to totally throw him out of his comfort zone. Tougher, if you're bipolar, since you can go either way.
Maybe you could start calling *everyone* baby, when you're with him? Waiters, cashiers, the postman? I think continuously making him uncomfortable is what you need to do, until he's willing to admit he was an idiot and completely wrong!
I read this to my DH because
I read this to my DH because he's sitting right next to me and I couldn't fucking believe it and I told him if he ever did that I would pack my bags and we would get divorced in a second fuck that!!! I never want to worry of there are lingering feelings!!
And he said "you wouldn't have to, because I would kill myself if I did that"
Lmfao
Can't argue that
Can't argue that
I would pack my bags and
I would pack my bags and leave. I would also go to the bank and withdraw thousands and thousands of dollars.
He was doing it intentionally. If you have been together for SEVEN years and he called her baby - he did it for a reason.
That was very disrespectful to you and your marriage. You better make a BIG FUCKING DEAL out of this so it never happens again and he knows how much he hurt you.
MarriedaBallessWonder, I've
MarriedaBallessWonder,
I've been on a cleaning spree all day... and I'm still working on the end of leaving or having him gtfo.
And yes this is a HUGE deal.. there is no having this to blow over.
Have HIM GTFO so HE is
Have HIM GTFO so HE is inconvenienced.
Girl, I'm livid for you!
Okay- I would flip too, but
Okay- I would flip too, but then let it go if he was apologetic. If he admitted it was wrong and he wouldn't do it again.
Here's the thing, sometimes people slip on the phone, ya know.
Dh once, early on in our relationship said "Love you" as he was hanging up from bm. It was just a slip and we both howled.
I have signed business letters "Love" and realized before sending, thank goodness! lol
If it happened again I would seriously flip.
OrangeUglad, How in the world
OrangeUglad,
How in the world do I just let THAT go? A slip?
By getting your point across,
By getting your point across, letting off steam, and then putting it in perspective.
beaccountable, I indeed to
beaccountable, I indeed to him... that slip of the tongue was no just random happening.
Luckily, he caught himself
Luckily, he caught himself after he said it and chastised himself before I could...
I would freaking lose my
I would freaking lose my SHIT. And it takes me a lot to lose it. NO way in HELL would I be accepting an apology. That right there is a symbol of all that is wrong in your marriage.
LOL! I love it!
LOL! I love it!
LOL, Loved that ^^^^^^
LOL, Loved that ^^^^^^ Rutherford! lol, exactly.
Call up an ex and call HIM
Call up an ex and call HIM baby and see how fast THAT gets overlooked as something you didn't "mean."
Misstep, she's exactly one of
Misstep, she's exactly one of those people in your tag... That one word is enough for her to try to sprint with!
^^^^^^^ Sounds lovely.
^^^^^^^ Sounds lovely.
^^^^^^^ Sounds lovely.
^^^^^^^ Sounds lovely.
Any kind of laxative too.
Any kind of laxative too.
Ex-lax brownies!!
Ex-lax brownies!! }:)
STalk need a like button
STalk need a like button
I grew up in the south, BUT
I grew up in the south, BUT YOU KNOW the difference.
First time? You got your
First time? You got your panties in a twist and it's unlikely he'll do it again.
So far so good. Second time leave for motel or whatever and let him come begging. When he does tell him to kneel with his head on the ground, put your shoed foot on it and tell him if it ever happens again he'll get the point of it right up his ass.
HAHA, Orange County... Know
HAHA, Orange County... Know of a good boot shop?!?! That boot should be put to use now.
You should probably put it
You should probably put it perspective for him.
Ask him how he would react if you started calling your ex "Baby, honey, sugar, shmookem-wookems, etc."
If the message still doesn't get through, you can turn it up a knocth and buy a hamster, a cat, a budgee, and start cuddling it and calling it all kind of sweet names
"Hi my little furry sweetums! Mamma LOVES you! Yes she does! Oh yes she does! Oh I miss you soooooo much! You are my favorite person in the whole wide world!....Oh, hi DH."
Do it consistently and often...Oh yeah....[sarcasm]Guys LOVE that![/sarcasm]
Strokes chin hmmm,
Strokes chin :? hmmm, keekeedee.... Sounds slightly even! Though that would be too easy right now... The blow would better in days to weeks or even a month from now. Pending the conversation/ vibe this evening of course!
Any "punishment" that
Any "punishment" that involves a guy getting sex isn't going to work
Shhhhhhhht! *ahem* Urm.
Shhhhhhhht!
*ahem*
Urm. Nothing to see here folks! Please disperse.
Nope, but there are many
Nope, but there are many creative ways to make sure a person thinks before they speak!
Whoa up on the divorce talk!
Whoa up on the divorce talk! lol. Y
Yes...I would flip my lid, but do you otherwise have a good marriage? Does this seem like a slip of the lip? I mean...he did it right in front of you right? I would assume he was just not paying attention and let it slip. I would still make him pay for it, but not sure this is divorce worthy.
And just fyi....a few of the ones that are pushing you to divorce over this...have been totally shit on by their own DH's and would NEVER leave them. So take that kind of advise with a grain of salt.
^^^^ Yes. Some here are
^^^^ Yes. Some here are mired in their own muck and want others to be a miserable. Every question is answered with "Start WWIII" or "Throw him out".
No, if it came to something
No, if it came to something like this that made me question if he still had feelings for BM after all of their history together, then it would be the icing on the cake to make me leave.
Sometimes it gets bad and sometimes it's good enough to make me believe it's workable. But hell no will I worry about his feelings for BM and visa versa. If anything I would watch closely and if I get any other suspicions, see ya DH!
And I'm normally not the one to endorse divorce on here, go figure.
LMAO, Willow ^^^^^ I'm super
LMAO, Willow ^^^^^ I'm super pissed... Divorce NOW..NO! Divorce if he humped her or was having texts/ explicit contact/correspondence, Yes. BUT I DO need to not be in his face a for a minute, as my temper has me seething. And I may do or say something to take it over the top. Marriage is good outside of her and the shenanigans. BUT IT GETS OLD AND TIRESOME! Someone must be accountable for this, no "Sorry" does it all.
I'm truly pissed about the
I'm truly pissed about the whole principle of the situation. He doesn't talk to her, email, or text on the regular. Months go by and he only talks to her if he has to but, I'm really disappointed... Like "how did you just do that?"
probably just out of old
probably just out of old habit and stupidity. nevertheless you NEED to point this out sternly. do not ignore it. his ex is not longer his "baby." and dont let him minimize it. it may be a slip up but entirely hurtful to you. how would he feel if he was in bed with you and you uttered the name of an ex? would he take it that easily. not. mens egos are huge.
when i married i immediately changed the cutesy vocabulary used by bm and skids from everything in the home and garage to nick names and foods including the skids nick name for the kitty.
oh. hell. no.
oh. hell. no.
Exactly, outtahere... It
Exactly, outtahere... It doesn't matter if 50% of her family just died or if she says she's about to jump off of the Brooklyn bridge--- IT IS NOT your job to comfort or console her in any way!
Idk, I'll be the devils
Idk, I'll be the devils advocate here, my DH and I have been together over 20 years ansd STILL every once in awhile call each other our Ex's name, we just laugh it off. Years ago he did call a friend baby, I was so pissed until I heard him on the phone talking business (I could hear the person on the other line) and he called a builder he was working with baby accidently! Lmao
^ THIS x 1,000!
^ THIS x 1,000!
Yeah... I'd be gone if I EVER
Yeah... I'd be gone if I EVER caught FDH calling BM ANYTHING other than her name, or the nicknames we have given her. II'd go ape shit!!
There was one time when we first got together that he slipped and called her babe, I left... We we're just starting to get serious, she texted him freaking out about something SD (An infant at the time) had gotten into and his text had said 'don't eorry, its not a big deal babe' i read it... Looked at FDH and sait 'WTF is this? Im not playing games, its her or me... I'll give you some time to figure it out.' I left, ignored his calls and texts for a day or so, cooled down and met him for coffee to talk about it.
He realized what he had with me right then. And never again did he 'slip'... And if he does I'll be gone for more than a day or so. Homie don't play like that.
My DH sometimes calls YSD who
My DH sometimes calls YSD who is 28 "baby" when he talks to her and it creeps me out, but I would NOT be okay with him calling BM that!!!