Worst Nightmare comes true.......
Well, one of my worst Nightmares had come true.
DH got a call from ass2 yesterday. Quick recap for you, this is ss21, not working for over three years( never had a job) , School drop out , BM finally kicked him out over a year ago, ass2 found a place in a homeless shelter, then got kicked out of there, shacked up with several dopey mates, left there quickly, got another place in sheltered accommodation ( how I don't know, this isn't in the States)
Well, the news is that he has got a teenager pregnant and they are going to have it. ( she is legal. Living at home with her single Mother)
DH is in shock. One of the first sentences he said to me, summing this up, was " ss has found his own version of BM" :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: The area they live in is VERY chavvy ( white trash, high unemployment, everyone on benefits)
DH just told ass2 now you REALLY NEED to get a job !! Hmmmm, I'm not convinced that will happen, it wasn't a big enough incentive to work when he left school, it wasn't a big enough incentive when DH paid his fine when he was arrested, it wasn't a big enough incentive when BM kicked him out, or when he was homeless again for bad behaviour .....
DH is of course, upset and is adamant he is not wading in to throw money at or rescue ass2. He doesn't even know if this is 100% true, ass2 has lied his ass of before for money, lied about jobs, etc. We don't even know how involved ass2 will be, he isn't living with this girl, has known her for five minutes( JUST long enough to knock her up!) isn't working or in a fixed home.
DH asked ass2 if he had told BM and he said she is fine with it. WTH ?????
DH also said to me, that I was right all along ( many years ago I had told DH that I expected this to happen with ass2 and he knows I still thought like this)
So that's my news, just when you think a stupid person can't get more stupider, they go and prove you wrong ....
DH said he is going to email ass2 in the next weeks to see if he has got a full time job yet, I'm not holding my breath. DH told ass2 there is no money coming from us.
On a side note, DH found out recently that a few months ago ass2 had dropped his surname and was now using BM's surname( probably meant to be a kick at DH after the several attempts earlier this year to get money from us. Wanting nothing to do with DH, UNTIL this news.) Who else is thinking ass2 will switch back to DH's surname,because even though ss called him a loser Dad, DH's money is wanted again)
Sorry for the essay. Can see myself semi disengaging to get through this. Justwhen everything was calm and quiet the step sh** hits the fan AGAIN !!!!!!! :sick:
And another generation is
Stay strong! Both you and your DH, no doubt itll be a long road of all kinds of new manipulation, because now he can play "well you wont get to see your grandchild" card.
Why would you want/need to
Why would you want/need to use skin color to describe someone? Where's the lady wearing the yellow thst was standing here, works just as well.
SA, in our area, the only
SA, in our area, the only time race can be used to describe a criminal suspect is when the suspect is caucasian. Any other race cannot be used or people cry racism. So...when no race is given, the suspect could be green, orange, blue, red, etc...
I did not mean that as
I did not mean that as offensive SA, this is a venting post and I agree with you trash is trash. This is me just VENTING I do hope others won't be judging. I have seen that term of phrase used a lot on here too, I'm hoping if you feel that strongly about it you will of course be going through and correcting others posts on here?
Funny you say that Sally , DH
Funny you say that Sally , DH did say he is not responsible for ass2's life choices. We will not step in though,we live in a different country and unfortunately, the odds are stacked against this situation from the start. In ss's country single Mother's end up getting offered accommodation and benefits thrown at them.
Yep, yet another generational
Yep, yet another generational iteration of the worthless POS gene pool.
Good on you and DH for not rushing to the rescue with the checkbook. As hard as it is to let these POS morons victimize their own children with their worthless behaviors running to the aid of even the kids is wasted effort if you cannot take full custody away from the POS idiots.
We struggle with my brides younger sibs failing to support their own young children but know if we rush to help that even if we do not provide money any reduction in their costs that our help would provide will just go to tattoos, drinking, buying useless crap, etc.... It is absolutely shocking to see a FB post of a new several $hundred tattoo next to a post from the same idiot complaining about how hungry their kids are.
So, we just shake are heads and say "Well bless your hearts. We hope it all works out for you."
If our nieces and nephews can overcome the POS tendencies of their parents we will gladly help them with college expenses, etc... but will in no way participate in any way that would benefit the idiot parents even if the young kids have to suffer by the idiot actions of their parents.
It breaks our hearts but that is how we have come to deal with this kind of crap.
I feel sorry for the baby
I feel sorry for the baby that may be born but this changes nothing as far as handouts to the SS.
I don't know why these brats think that them having a baby opens the money flood gates. Or the emotional flood gates, either.
I am no more endeared to my SD now that she has two kids, than I was before. Her relationship with DH has not changed because she has not changed. She still lies, still tries to manipulate, still tries to play the guilt card; babies didn't change that.
I agree Rags. We don't even
I agree Rags. We don't even know if they will be "together" when this child is born. I really think ass2 should get a Paternity Test done too when the time comes.
Having learnt from previous experiences my DH, apart from the shock, seems to be in thinking in a calm, reserved and resigned manner
Can we all just say "trash"
Can we all just say "trash" without prefacing it with skin color?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WTH? Really
I really do not know how some people function when they get offended by EVERY little thing that is said. Good grief.
If the are white and they are trash...guess what they are....? Yup...white trash. lol
So it's offensive for someone
So it's offensive for someone to be offended by it?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Im not really offended...just frustrated that people can't say anything anymore.
I mean on this blog alone...you have one poster that thinks it is offensive to blacks if a white person is called white trash!! How on earth does that make sense anywhere?
Another poster that says you should not describe someone as a black or white person when describing someone. LOL! Why? What is offensive about that? Your color is probably the first thing you notice about people, but god forbid you mention it...?
'cracker'- ha! tyler perry
'cracker'- ha! tyler perry is gonna get sued now for his new show called "blackish". and for Madea saying "black ass" quite often.
And in that way it isn't a
And in that way it isn't a "worst nightmare", because your smart DH has exactly the right attitude.
The teenage girl does
The teenage girl does apparently already live and plans on staying with her Mother. You have to have the baby before all the "benefits" kick in, in that country. What usually happens in similar situations there is this, young girl gets pregnant, has baby, applies for and is given a place to live, baby's Dad moves in with them, ALL live on benefits, split up, move on, girl has more babies , the ex fathers more babies with other women and so the cycle continues.......
Interesting fact, BM DID exactly this after DH left her.
Forgive me for I am going to
Forgive me for I am going to harp on another trivial aspect of this post
>has known her for five minutes( JUST long enough to knock her up!)<
How the heck is that even possible!?!
"Hi! What's your name? Bambi? Pleased to meet you Bambi, my name is...WOOPS!...Sorry about that, I sometimes get overly excited when meeting new people...."
Drac0...LMBO!!!
Drac0...LMBO!!!
Cactus, DH and I did discuss
Cactus, DH and I did discuss this possibility that ass2 is lying, and suddenly there is no baby, etc. Apparently he was engaged to another girl last Christmas and before that had many schoolgirl girlfriends, that were the "ones", hence why my DH is SUPER suspicious ( just like me now).
Draco, yes, it really does appear to have happened like that, a hello, a horizontal boogie woogie and voila !! :sick:
Ass2 lives his life on social media, and there has been no mention of this girl or ANYTHING, so of course, my spidery step senses are in overdrive !! }:)
"DH told ass2 there is no
"DH told ass2 there is no money coming from us." Good!
"DH found out recently that a few months ago ass2 had dropped his surname and was now using BM's surname." The justification.
Good question Rising2, I
Good question Rising2, I think this is a highly emotive time for him, and he believes, quite rightly, that it takes two to make a baby and ss is responsible and needs to step up. I think what will naturally happen is that he will calm down further and then just wait and see. He still wishes for a normal relationship with the skids, rather than being seen as a walking Wallet. ( When no money is given, skids punish him by radio silence, but has been seeing the light, so to speak for about two or three years now )
What a relief the kid changed
What a relief the kid changed his name. Now your dh can disown him without guilt cuz the boy no longer belongs to him anyway. Plausible deniability, very good!
Who knows if the child is
Who knows if the child is even your SS's? I would suggest a blood test. If your SS is not interested in being a part of this child's life I would suggest too that he sign away his rights to this child. My ex was not a real involved father. He popped in and out of my children's lives as he wished and it was very hard on my children. At one point I asked my ex to let my 2nd husband adopt them but he would not. My kids know their bio dad but they also know the dad that raised them and they feel that my husband now was the example of a father to them and not their bio dad. Sad when this sort of thing happens, very sad for everyone involved. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like your SS cares about anything right now and I will be surprised if he turns his act around due to this situation.
We, as parents of daughters, always hope and pray that the boy our daughter dates is sincere about them. What I see many times though is two people acting on hormonal urges more than anything and well babies are made whether there is any love or commitment involved.