The metaphorical wheelbarrow!
My version of the 'disengaging' process is this!
I feel like I have been pushing my brat of a SD around in a wheelbarrow with all the shit that comes with her for the last few years, occasionally I have had some help. The wheelbarrow has got heavier and heavier as there is more and more shit to push around. The shit is her lies, disgusting behaviour, stealing, bad manners, greed, brainless behaviour generally being saddled with the brat. Along with dealing with her mother and my OH mother whom is equally as nutty!
Well folks, I have stopped pushing this so called wheel barrow and walked away as I am no good at pushing this about anymore.
I have brushed myself down and someone else can take over 
I can't half push the wheel barrow or even carry a little bit. It's over!
No dealing with any of it!
I am not going to cook, wash, respond or anything!
If mess is left it will go in the bin, the message will soon get across.
There is no other way than this. If I give an inch they take a mile and I am not putting myself in a position where I am seen as some sort of slave that can be trodden on, I am no ones hook to hang their problems on.
This is never how I imagined it but hay ho
Let the true reality of these people shine through, this sticking plaster is done!!!
I think the word disengage
I think the word disengage makes us step parents feel dreadful! So it's just my way of getting out my point
no one should be a wheel barrow! I should never have been left to be one. It's a healthy option for us all as I am done! I appreciate your comments lovely!
Thank you! No I don't want to
Thank you! No I don't want to go any where near the wheelbarrow again.
Great analogy. Though I am
Great analogy. Though I am one to dump the barrow full of shit on those that generate it rather than ignoring it. Dowsing the creators of the shit in their own stench is quite fun when approached as a hobby. }:)