spoil azz, damn if you do damn if ya dont
Ok. About to be SD is 14/ turning 15. She lived with her mother in another state and visited grandpa very often. She wanted to come where her father was to live and attend school. This is a bigger city and state compared to where she came from, a small city family around the corners and more trusted friends. I know danger and crimes don’t discriminate but she can act like a dumb blond who’s twirling her hair and chewing bubble gum, and not paying attention to her surroundings. With that being noted she complains that her dad won’t let her go too far and hang with friends. She does go to the ball games and such, but with her lack of being responsible in a bigger place he just don’t feel safe letting her just roam the mall or movies, and other place. Tried it once and the dumb blond syndrome occurred. Now that her father and I are taking steps to make things more permanent I help him out with her at times. For example I pick her up from school when he works late and he comes by to pick her up, he also likes to hang out when he comes and then she gets restless and ready to go home once him and I start talking he ignores her brat like behavior. When he decides to leave her at home and come visit her lip is stuck out and don’t want to be at home. Damn if ya do damn if ya don’t. This summer she is moving back with her mother in her home town, and I hate that I have this feeling of a kid on x-mas morning, or blasting the happy song (because I’m happy clap along if you feel like a room without a roof…) but on a serious note I do love and care for the child but this dumb, cluelessness, spoil-ish way of acting like she is about to die of boredom is very annoying and no I do not have children. Is this typical teenage girl behavior, or did momma and grand pa spoil the crap out of her and now that she’s with dad and things are different she’s acting out? Just a quick history of how spoil…. Mother lets her go just about everywhere whenever and gramps would bring take out to school when she asked and take her wherever she please for the most part. I’m trying to bare it till she leaves in the summer but I hate I’m secretly counting down.
She's in a new city and her
She's in a new city and her dad isn't giving her room to grow and make mistakes. I live in NYC. Based on her age, I assume she's in high school. A kid her age shouldn't need anyone to pick her up from school. Plenty of kids in my school (elementary) ride the subway or city bused to and from school without their parents.
there are no public
there are no public transportation and the bus does not go by either house so someone does have to pick her up when he has to work late.
better example picture
better example picture letting you 4-6 year old getting dropped off and walk the mall till they find build a bear and then tell them to meet you at macys at leaving time.some maybe able to do this and some cant depending on their attention spand, not to mention being on the cell 24/7
Yeah your not understanding.
Yeah your not understanding. I help out with the pick up from school. The issue is I don't have children at all and dealing with her having her lip stuck out and pissed because no one but her mother and grandfather moves when she say move. Her father and I are about to make things permanent. And I feel bad for wanting her to go back home. And she is in the summer for good, because it's easier for her to get what she wants.so with me not having kids it's kind of bitter sweet. Is it wrong to secretly count down the days?
No I'm not trying to keep
No I'm not trying to keep her. Her father and I are about to be permanent. She is spoiled and with her mother and grand father she got what she wanted and when she wanted. So because things are different with her father and he's doing it all alone besides me picking up from school. I feel bad for wanting her or can't wait till she goes back to her mother. The thoughts I have of counting down the days of when she leaves, I feel kind of bad. But..... I'm ready for her to go.
Doing all of what? The kid
Doing all of what? The kid is 15. What I the world is her dad doing? She's in school most if the day (why can't the kid ride the school bus). When she gets home, she should be busy with homework, chores and friends. Her dad's fears has kept her from learning the areas and developing new friendships. It sounds like she wanted to do these things but dad was afraid to cut the apron strings and give her room to mess up.
Can't really blame her for wanting go back to BM's. That's not being a spoiled brat. That's wanting normal, reasonable teenage freedom.
Have you really read
Have you really read anything?? The kid is not responsible and has the attention span of a 4-6 year old you should go back and read my example post about letting you 4-6 year old got to build a bear alone do you think a 4-6 year old cold meet you at Dillard’s when time to leave. she can’t remember if we brought chips or not at the store and she carries out the one bag with only one thing in it she’s a bit dizzy and thinks it’s a must that she has things to do and place to go every chance she gets like her mother let her do. don’t get me wrong she does go to the games and b day parties but she is just not mature enough to go off on her on just yet, the father is not against it she just not ready and when trying to explain that to her, her lip just hangs and then she’s ready to go back to moms. It is being spoiled when she thinks that the sun and moon rises and shines on her ass. Things are not going to be the same at daddy’s like it was at mommas.
I truly understand how you
I truly understand how you feel, as SM we should not feel so elated when our SC go to their bio-mom's house but, you've done everything under the sun, moon and stars for the child and get no respect. My SD is the same way her mother and grandmother will bend over backwards to kiss her butt and when she is at home with her father and I she acts like we or "I" don't care for her at all. Some times my husband says I'm to hard on her but, as they grow they need or should have more responsibility. My SD is 14 and still won't do her own laundry and loves to take over things that I buy for the other three little kids but screams bloody murder if they get into her stuff.
I don't blame you for being happy about her going back to her moms home maybe then she will see just how good she has it with you and her dad. Do your happy dance when the time comes because one the school year is over I'm going to do mine.
Honey I am!!! I do love her
Honey I am!!! I do love her and want her happy and I think that’s the best place for her is with her mother so she can do the things she’s use to in a familiar place with familiar people and more family around. I’m tired of the long face and attitudes and phone calls back home complaining, just go back!!!
Oh I know what you mean...my
Oh I know what you mean...my SD calls, text, and IM's her mom all hours of the day. If I tell her she cant do something or have something she has asked for then I get all the nasty attitudes and comments under her breath and before I know it she's texting or calling her mom. I hate that we as " Step Parents " have to deal with the BS of these teenagers that don't truly understand or appreciate what we do and go through for them.