need help with heroin addict
I'm a stepmother myself, which comes with its own issues, as you all are well aware. However, the problem I'm having today involves the stepdaughter of my cousin.... So my step-cousin, if that's a thing... I'll make a long story short, and refer to my step cousin as HQ to ensure anonymity. Two weeks ago, HQ25 was caught by her mother shooting heroin in her basement. HQ25 has a four year old and a two month old. Her mom called the cops, they came, and an ambulance took her to the hospital. Two hours later she's released with prescription for suboxone and a counseling regimen to follow. HQ25 had just moved in with her mom and my cousin a few days prior to the incident, stating she was moving into an apartment that "wasn't ready yet" and needed a place to stay with her kids for a couple weeks. What's important to the story here is the fact that my house is right beside my cousins house, and we are a very close family. So I've been helping out (I'm fortunate to have a light schedule in the summer) with childcare when I can, and offering support however I can. Cut to today. She asks me to watch her 4yo while she goes to the doc, as part of her counseling program she's required to get tested for every std known to man. She leaves my house at 12:30 for a 1:30 appointment. It's now 5:30 here and she's still not back. So I guess my question is, what could've happened? Has anyone dealt with heroin addiction where the addict has been thrust into a "fix it or get out" situation and claims to be ready to change? Does STD testing really take several hours? I hate to think she's taking advantage of my generosity, but really I feel used and scared right now. Can anyone help me handle this properly? I want her to be safe, but I can't babysit her.
She doesn't have daycare set
She doesn't have daycare set up for them yet, because of course she can't pay for it. So during the day, she either has to take them with her, or I have to take them. I've never done drugs, so I really don't know how to look at this situation without being judgmental. But it is getting really difficult to keep biting my tongue.
So notasm, if I understand
So notasm, if I understand you correctly, you're saying she isn't ready to be done with heroin yet. I feel the same way. I feel like she was caught, and agreed to clean up because it seemed like a better idea than going to jail and losing her kids. I do not feel as though she wanted to quit and just couldn't bring herself to tell everyone about her addiction. For lack of a better term, she hasn't hit rock bottom. Does that seem like it fits the bill here?
There is addiction in my
There is addiction in my family too. It's horrible, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
When using, addicts will do ANYTHING to get to that next high. Lie. Steal. Cheat. In big ways and small ways. Just because she said she's ready to change doesn't mean she told the truth.
She does need to be tested for STDs, she does need to see the doc, and she does need to attend her counseling sessions. Just know that whenever she drops off her kids and says she has an appointment, that doesn't means she's going to show up for her appointment. She could be using it to get high, and once she's high she might be gone for hours or days.
But she could be telling the truth, too. You will never be certain. I've sat in doctor's offices for two hours past my appointment time waiting to be seen. Then if she had to go to a different facility to have the actual tests done, that would take time too. So you won't really know if she's playing you for a little while longer. When it gets to be 7, 8, 10, what are you going to do?
There has to be a backup plan for those kids. I feel so sorry for them.
There is no lower form of
There is no lower form of life than a drug addict. Every time she speaks you should know she is lying. Any time she is in your home, assume she is stealing. Until she gets real treatment, like a year long detox program, your only concern should be her children. Now, she is owned by the devil.