SKS had a room when their dad and I were together. I don't like the idea of having kids sleep on the sofa, airbed....I would never allow that for my son, so I couldn't do that to someone else's kid.

My dh & I did have bedrooms for 2 of the 3 skids. 1 was in college.

When I married dh I moved into his home which had been the marital home for him, ex wife, & his kids. That in itself was a mistake. The kids treated me like an unwelcome guest in THEIR home. They would come over and hang out either in THEIR room with the door closed, or they would take over other parts of the house at their discretion.

I wanted to have a guest room but dh didn't want to hurt their feelings. The skids treated me like I was not allowed in their room and that they had every right to go into mine. Big power struggle.

We bent over backwards being good to these ungrateful brats and we were rewarded ESTRANGEMENT for our kindness. First the mds stopped having anything to do with us. I boxed up her stuff and osd picked the boxes up and delivered to mds. (haven't heard from her in over five years) Then osd and yss also stopped having anything to do with us. I cleaned up yss room (which was a total mess) and took a trip to goodwill. I then turned his room into a guest room. The other room was more of a storage room.

I would NEVER give advise to the non-custodial parent to have bedrooms set up for the kids. They can sleep in the guest room just like any other person that come for short visits.

As a parent, I would never live in a home where my minor kids were treated as guest.

If they are treated as guests, that means no chores. That means their likes/dislikes must be considered when it comes to meals, activities.... Nope, minor kids (regardless of custody)are part of the family. I would treat them that way.

Moving into the old family's house is a huge NO WAY for me.

SD uses the guest room for the 2 or 3 nights a YEAR she actually sleeps over. (she's supposed to sleep over 2 saturdays a month but "refuses")

If the kid comes over at least every other weekend...I think they need a room.
And yes...SS always had a room at DHs when SS lived with BM

No, but he doesn't visit so that's a moot point.

Even if he did, he'd stay in the "kids" room which doubles as the guest bedroom, since BD rarely sleeps in there anyway so it's a playroom/homework room with a bed that guests use when they're here.

We have a 3 bedroom, one of which will become a clinic (since it has a separate entrance and its own bathroom), the kids room, and our master bedroom.

When I moved out to college, my parents turned my room into the guest bedroom--many times I'd come home only to find they had a guest over so I either slept in my mom's room or on the couch. No biggie. Never felt out of place or whatever. And up until we were about 15, my sister and I shared a room in a 7 bedroom house--of course, my mom and dad each had a separate room, my grandparents each had their own room, and there was a separate guest bedroom.

If kids are well adjusted and not entitled, have good coping mechanisms and rational thinking, and are, in general, not ungrateful in life, I don't think they would even bother thinking about what's fair or unfair or whatever. We grew up understanding our parents rules were their rules and we were just the followers and didn't feel like we were had to "have" anything.

My SS has his own room but he is with us 50% of the time and is young so it is different. We are building a house with an unfinished basement our plan is to build SS a space of his own down there. It does not have it's own exit.

I have 2 extra rooms and Skids used them when they were little but I decorated as guess room. Oh my cat sleeps in the one SD used to use so I called that room the cat room

A.

“I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much.” Mother Teresa

I think most people probably have a room for their kids they don't have custody of. It's the right thing to do, regardless of how you feel about the kid.

We are living in a two bedroom house, so our room and a room for SD. We are wanting to add an ours baby within the next couple of years so the topic of bedrooms has come up.
For me personally it depends massively on the age of the skid and how often they are with you. My SD is soon to be 5, so we've got many many years of continued visitation via the CO before she is old enough to say whether she wants to be spending more or less time here. I wouldnt feel comfortable with SD not having a room with us.
Fortunately despite being in a two bed house, our room is stupidly oversized, you can comfortably split it to make a double and a single room, or two generous singles (may even be wide enough to fit double beds in both halves but would get a bit cramped)
So with us planning a baby, thats no issue, the issue comes if we want TWO children. I personally dont want our children sharing rooms if we can possibly avoid it. Given SDs age, shes going to be what? 8-10 years old by the time we actually have an ours baby. Thats far too big an age gap to have sharing, a teen and a toddler in the same room? No thanks.

That being said, when SD is a teenager, if she ends up being here less then she would loose her personal space, I'm one of those, if you have regular visits then it makes sense to have a room but if for whatever reason those visits become less then its a waste of space.

YES, SD has her own bedroom at his house even though she lives with her birth mother. She only sees him on his one day a week visitation day. He has the room as a bedroom/playroom for her. He and I were together for 3 years, so I knew her from the time she was 5 - 8 years old. The room had a comforter with a children's design (colorful: green, yellow, orange, and pink). I only saw my partner sit down on the bed ONE time, and it was when she was NOT over the house. He had zero interest in that room. When she started talking back to him when she was like 6 years old he started to avoid her for as long as possible on the opposite side of the house and I would be stuck playing with her/taking care of her in her bedroom. He would stop by the room to give me these cold stares like, "Are you taking care of this little brat?" Eventually, she would go into the living room and demand attention from him and then he would play with her (somewhat) but he really did avoid her as much as possible prior to that. So that room became a tool for him to intentionally isolate himself from the two of us so he could do whatever he wanted whether it was pretending to sleep (he did that three different times), watching tv in the other room, or sitting at the computer on the internet.

Things eventually escalated to the point where one day after three hours she and I walked into the kitchen. After 5 minutes he told me, "You're going to take her to Boston Market and go pick up up a chicken dinner for us." I told him no THREE times, and he shouted in my face, "YES, she's driving me crazy!" So I ended up having to take her in my car, with no booster seat offered to me (I would have been screwed if I had been pulled over by a cop, even if I had explained my situation it's not like they would have cared), to Boston Market. When we got back to the house the POS paused, started at her and I and said, "......just when I thought it was safe." Lazy, indifferent, non-deserving of a child a**hole. Luckily, things went well with her in the car, she was a really good kid, but that's NOT the way that you introduce your partner taking your child somewhere for the first time. Especially because she was the first child I had ever taken care of, I had no experience with kids at all (no siblings, I had never babysitted) before that.