**UPDATE** OCD or just a Brat 2
Please refer to original post for backstory.
After putting my foot down, DH agreed to get SS12 into therapy ASAP. He called BM to ask for SS12 insurance card info as new Step Dad has him on his plan at work. Psycho BM lost her mind and began screaming. Convo went like this:
DH- I need XXX insurance card. I found a great child therapist that can help him. I am tired of seeing him suffer and your plan of "praying it away" isn't helping him.
BM- You're not taking my son to some therapist that will tell him that is OK to feel like he is gay. One that will tell him he has a disease. This therapist isn't my sons mother and has no say so in his life. There is nothing wrong with XXX he is only going through puberty! *hangs up phone*
PUBERTY!?!?
Um. I do not recall my DD screaming to everyone that the dog is poison, all nonpackaged food has salmonella, everyone is going to die if they drive at dark, obsessively worrying about germs, literally holding their hands up under their breasts as to not touch anything, crying on the phone that someone touched their phone and poisoned it, praying over and over and constantly worrying if they're sinning.
DH decided to make the appt anyhow. I'm sure once BM finds out she will brainwash SS once again that therapy is bad & SS won't want to visit if DH is going to make him go to therapy,
As far as the previous post goes, this kid thinks I am the real life devil. He will not enter the room if I'm in it. This has gone on for a very long time. It has progressed to the severity it is now where everyone but his mom has germs and will cause him death. He will slide his back down a wall to avoid coming within 6 ft of someone & then change his shirt. I'm not going to tease him or cause him more stress. I do want to seem him get better, the entire situation is sad. Sad that a mother would rather her kid suffer rather than get him the help he needs. Sad that she only cares that a therapist might tell him it's ok to have homosexual thoughts & she would of course be embarrassed as a fine Christian woman that she pretends to be.
Visitation tonight 5-9 - I'll update.
Tell your DH to email BM (or
Tell your DH to email BM (or text). Get her response in writing if at all possible. Seriously, she's skating dangerously close to abuse/neglect and therapists are mandatory reporters. I'm not saying that she has legally crossed that line YET. But I am saying she is fairly likely to, given her initial response. In large part it will depend on what state you live in, some are more likely to allow "religion" as a reason for ignoring medical issues and mental health isn't taken quite as seriously as, say, cancer. But there are other states that take a very dim view of prohibiting minors from taking advantage of modern health care, even for mental health issues, and if you live in one of THOSE states BM could end up in front of a judge. This may very well escalate at some point to a legal issue, make sure your DH is documenting that HE, at least, is trying to do right by this kid.
FLASHBACKS!! When skids were
FLASHBACKS!! When skids were on Chef's insurance, the Girhippo DEMANDED the insurance cards and Chef handed them over tout de suite.
Then when they switched to her insurance and while Chef was still doing visitation with his three massive klutzes of offspring, we NEVER EVER saw any insurance cards from her.
Chef asked SEVERAL times only at my prompting because he "didn't think it was important" (TM). She never sent them nor did she respond with any explanation.
Sounds like your DH might
Sounds like your DH might need to go through court to get this kid a therapist. I would talk to your lawyer and file something requesting a stimulation added on that the child must see a licensed therapist. There are Christian therapists out there. Maybe if you find one BM will agree.
I am a child therapist and in
I am a child therapist and in my home state if I did an initial evaluation with you SS I would call child services. All I can say is document, document, document. I completely agree with the first response in that you need to get BM's response in writing so that you have proof of her reaction, not just hearsay, that won't fly, even in family court. I also completely agree to get your lawyer involved... They can force her to produce the insurance information, which if it's written in the divorce decree (it usually is) that each parent is entitled to all the info whether medical, psychological, etc... But they usually put a put something in there stating that insurance is to be given to the non-insurance carrying parent. If so, then your lawyer can file contempt against her. Your SS sounds very sick from what you've written, psychologically. I personally would be worried as to what would happen next if he were to continue in the psychological state he currently is? The best thing you can do for him, I know that tensions are high between you, but if you could sit down and remember dates (like around when he started doing such and such) or it was May when he was screaming about the phone... Like that. It will not only help the court but possibly help whoever he is likely to be seeing as a therapist.
Best of luck to you.
I would be very worried about
I would be very worried about this kid. What happens when being 6 feet away isn't enough? What happens when he thinks that the only way to survive is to kill the demons and cleanse the earth?
You may not think he's dangerous but that can change in the blink of an eye. Then everyone is standing around saying how they knew something was wrong with him but no one suspected this!
I would not have him in my house or anywhere around me.
I was thinking the same
I was thinking the same thing. I would be locking my door at night and hiding all the knifes
Has he ever seen you step
Has he ever seen you step foot inside a church? Devils burst into flames and ash, so when you don't.. he'll SEE proof that you aren't a devil. Creepers that's scary.
As well as all the fantastic advice above; Do A LOT of research and even get counselling for yourself (and DH) so you can learn how to manage living with his disorder without inflaming situations.
Has he ever seen you step
Has he ever seen you step foot inside a church? Devils burst into flames and ash, so when you don't.. he'll SEE proof that you aren't a devil. Creepers that's scary.
As well as all the fantastic advice above; Do A LOT of research and even get counselling for yourself (and DH) so you can learn how to manage living with his disorder without inflaming situations.
Thank you for all the great
Thank you for all the great advice. I love it here!
Visitation was last night. DH told SS that he must stay upstairs and either watch TV or play video games. SS had 2 meltdowns in the 3 hr timeframe. Again something was poison & he needed to get germs off. For the most part I tried to zone him out. DH built a nice fire in th pit where myself and all the other kids could " get away" and have s'mores. i appreciate DH trying to put my sanity first.
DH made appt to speak to therapist tomorrow afternoon. Therapist wants to speak to DH first and then SS. BM still refuses to provide insurance card but we will pay out of pocket for now. DH is calling our lawyer to get the ball rolling on obtaining ins info & court ordered therapy in case BM blocks SS from going.
DH will not call child services as he feels this will cause SS even more stress as he will be placed in the middle of a war with BM & DH. I can see his point, she is psycho. I'm not sure that I personally wouldn't call if it were my DDs but not my decision to make. Oh, DH told me he would do visitation away for EOWE until SS shows improvement, 3 hrs I can tolerate, 48 hrs not so much. I doubt DH will be able to send that much 1-on-1 with SS and will probably back track on that promise but fingers crossed.
That child needs help.
That child needs help. Irrespective of what the rest of the world may or may not think about his sanity, if he truly believes what he is saying, he is suffering hugely. Definitely get lawyers involved and if you can, make the therapy Court-ordered with X therapist, so that she cannot simply stop taking him on her time. Poor kid.