According to BM, I'm now responsible for all costs/care of SD. LOL.

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So a while ago, I posted about how my SO wouldn't go after child support, get a drivers license, or step up to take some weight off me... Now we've worked things out, he's gotten a day job so I don't have to watch her at night, going for his license soon, and taken steps to get BM more involved with the financial costs of raising SD... This is great because SO has full custody and doesn't make a lot of money, and BM barely sees SD as she lives in another city. (she didn't want custody as she didn't want the responsibility) so I was handling a lot of costs/responsibilities.

Today, he calls her and starts out with asking for help with childcare costs ($700 a month)! I don't pay anything for childcare, but I do pay for half of all other expenses related to SD (Rent, groceries, gas to drive her places, gifts for holidays, etc.) because that's what I'm comfortable with. Childcare costs are huge though, so I'm not comfortable at all paying for any of that cost.

He asked her to pay half. She had the nerve to say... "Well sunshinex makes a lot of money and that's the obligation she took when she started dating somebody with a child"

Can you believe that? THAT'S MY OBLIGATION LOL Apparently I'm responsible for paying half of everything INCLUDING huge costs like childcare, while she sits at home refusing to work anything more than part time or pay ANYTHING towards her own kid. She argued for 20 minutes about how she barely sees her, why should she pay? along with saying it's MY obligation, not hers.

Anybody have experience with crazy BMs thinking they're not responsible for costs? What did you do? I'm shocked that someone could think something as huge as the cost of raising their child should be put on someone else!

SO ended the conversation saying he's going to see her in court when he goes for child support. Only problem is, she doesn't make much money so not sure he'll get much... ugh.

Also, a bit of background,

Also, a bit of background, we're NOT married - only been living together 2 years. How on earth does she think that means i'm "obligated" to do anything more than be nice to her child and build a good relationship with her?

Ss30 was a young adult in his

Ss30 was a young adult in his early 20s when DH and I got together. Somehow BM thought I was the answer to her prayers.

BM has an excellent professional job with 30 years experience at the same hospital. To be honest I do not think she owes SS any support at his age but neither do I. BM thought I should help SS get on his feet. Fuck that shit.

Ha, crazy BMs... My SD is

Ha, crazy BMs... My SD is only 4... which means she's expecting 14 years of financial obligation to just pass over to me! :/

My SS is 4 and when DH asked

My SS is 4 and when DH asked BM for her half of his school registration and tuition she told him that it wasn't her responsibility since it wasn't on "her time". She only gets weekends so that means we are suppose to pay for everything?! Yeah fat chance this will last long. DH is giving her one more year.

Wow! If I was a biological

Wow! If I was a biological mom to a child with a SM, I would be embarrassed if another woman was taking over my role and doing parental duties, instead of encouraging and expecting it!!

Of course she needs to pay -

Of course she needs to pay - court ordered, just to make sure!! just like our dhs' do! ridiculous

So the evidence is in front

So the evidence is in front of you that you can't "nice" BM into paying for her child.

Time to go the legal route. This is advantageous because it will likely (depending where you live) get deducted from her paychecks, so you guys won't have to be in contact with her to beg her to pay each time the money is due.

Oh, and hit her up for back child support, too, and put it in a college savings account for SD. SD shouldn't have to suffer because her mom's a deadbeat.