Always my fault!
So DH finally invited the steps to Easter. He did it on a group message. MSD and SS are married to siblings and always bring their horrible teenage brother with them. He cusses like a sailor and is rude to everyone! On Thanksgiving he pissed off the neighbor who is also DH's best friend to the point he left. DH was mad! So he invites the Steps to Easter and mentions their BIL is not invited. MSD complains he has nowhere else to go even though he has two parents and two other siblings. DH replied with a "sorry" when they kept questioning he said he's an A$$ and childish and I don't have to put up with him.
Well of course the steps can not stand DH standing up to them! Now they are all saying they have other plans and saying "We're not wanting anyway", "How do you expect your kids to come to your house where we are clearly not wanted", and when DH pointed out no one ever said that one replied "U didn't say it but others have made it clear". So basically the steps took a message inviting them to Easter and turning it into a SM doesn't make us feel welcomed!
Anyone else find this incredibly funny that DH said their BIL couldn't come and they freak out but expect him to be fine with them saying his wife isn't invited to holidays! LOL
" So basically the steps took
" So basically the steps took a message inviting them to Easter and turning it into a SM doesn't make us feel welcomed! "
Wait, aren't you the SM who is not invited to their little dinners because you're not 'family' and 'blood'?
Oh well, more yummy grilled brisket for everybody else and a much more enjoyable afternoon. Don't let them drag you into their games.
Yep! I really hope at least
Yep! I really hope at least one of them sees the irony of it! But of course I doubt they see it the same way. Dh is pissed! He said if they say he can't bring his wife then he can say they can't bring their BIL.
"Anyone else find this
"Anyone else find this incredibly funny that DH said their BIL couldn't come and they freak out but expect him to be fine with them saying his wife isn't invited to holidays! LOL" Ya, it's funny (and mostly sad)that DH would refuse to allow the BIL to come to his Easter party because the BIL offended your neighbor --- but your DH refuses to confront the skids about their cruel exclusionary behavior toward you. Bet it makes you feel like making them all little Easter baskets with exlax eggs. Now THAT would be funny!
Of course you got the blame. It's so easy when your DH refuses to support you. Have to admit it IS kind of funny that when DH stood up to them on behalf of the neighbor it backfired on him, and they punished him for not being the agreeable doormat they are all comfortable with. No, THEY have to call the shots.
I was in your position 5 years ago. My DH STILL hasn't displayed any support for me with SD. My DH decided to stay in the marriage, possibly for financial convenience. But this meant SD didn't get what she wished for which was Daddy - all to herself. She hasn't acknowledged DH in a long, long time. It backfired for her because DH got tired of the silent treatment and quit trying to contact her. It can go either way with your DH. He can continue to defend the neighbor, risking alienation, or cave in and resume his role as a doormat. If it were me though, it wouldn't matter. They would not be welcome on my home if I am not welcome in theirs - and that would be non-negotiable.
Actually he refused to go to
Actually he refused to go to the Christmas Party I was excluded from
I find it hard to believe you
I find it hard to believe you would even have them over at all if they exclude you from family dinners and functions.
They clearly do not want you as part of the family - so be it. Leave them alone and stop inviting them to things. They blame you for not really wanting them there so let them stew.
They are extremely rude and selfish and I would want no part of this arrangement! I learned the same lesson in my step situation. Skids don't want me involved and blame me for everything so I disengaged - they are not welcome in my home and I do not entertain them EVER!!!
I told DH I would never do to
I told DH I would never do to him what they did. I will never tell him he can't have his kids over to our house. However I will not be doing the inviting to anything anymore. I will not be cooking special things for them and we will be eating on paper plates and cups.
I think they are very mad DH has stepped in and started taking over and I have taken a step back. I refuse to let them continue to treat me like crap and expect me to chase them. I'm done!
Good for you! When you step
Good for you! When you step back and give it to your DH, it is a relief that there is no more work, or engagement. I love it; even though DH is a bit sour about my disengagement, it's not any worse treatment then what I was getting before; so it is what it is!
Our discontinuation of the
Our discontinuation of the dinners was rather blunt; which I didn't intend. With that said: It is good!
I had enough of the rude treatment, never bringing a dish, never helping BBQ, never helping clean up, on and on.... After one of the delightful family BBQ, I informed DH I was NOT doing this any longer. No more invitations from me and I was NOT doing the work. DH ran straight to SD and told her I SAID they weren't welcome. Thanks A$$. Yep, blamed me!
It turned out very well: I haven't had to do it since, it back fired on DH (SD never comes around much), and I am not saddled with SD and her family's rudeness.
DH did this to himself, I'm free!