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Buying clothes

Ready2leave1980's picture

Sad How do i go about telling these kids mom that it is not my place to buy her kids school clothes. Thet both have fathers to do this. She doesnt work so she thinks the money that i work hard for every day is to be used how she sees fit. I have kids of my own that need new clothes as well. She says since her kids live with us they should be taken care of before mine. I pay no child support for my kids because it was agreed that i would help with whatever they needed. What should i do???

Rags's picture

Refer her to the CO and CS. She receives CS she pays for clothes. As a SParent... you can deal with this any way you wish. I would give BM clarity that she and her baby daddies are responsible for clothing their spawn.

And no, her spawn do not trump yours. Even if her spawn are residents of your home. That she would suggest such a thing confirms she is a useless waste of parental skin.

Monchichi's picture

I would urge you to insist she get a job to support her children. No is a full sentence and an acceptable answer to this scenario.

Snowflake's picture

If you pay no child support, and it was agreed that you pay expenses, then that is the way it is.

Does your wife get child support for her kids? If not then I would suggest that she file right now. Or she can get a job if her kids are in school.

All you have to do is simply tell her no.

hereiam's picture

How do i go about telling these kids mom that it is not my place to buy her kids school clothes. They both have fathers to do this.

You tell her just that, it is not your place nor your responsibility.

The fathers buy them clothes, she uses child support to buy them clothes, or she gets a job and takes care of her responsibilities.

Why are you letting her use you?

Disneyfan's picture

THIS

I don't understand what all the hand wringing is about when it comes to spending YOUR money on someone else's kids.

NO

They can talk until they are blue in the face, the answer will still be NO.

Disneyfan's picture

Tell that woman to get a job and CS.

Hopefully you are not married to this greedy woman. There are stepmoms out their who want their bios to come ahead of/replace their SO's bio. Most who think that way try to hide it. This greed6, entitled thing put it right out there.

Don't be surprised when she starts to request you foot the bill for Christmas, birthday parties and family vacations. Of course all of those things will include you, her and her bios, but exclude your bios.

She's showing you who she really is. Please believe her and show her the door.

SecondGeneration's picture

When you moved in together I am assuming you had some conversations about the finances and childcare, etc?

If not then that is long overdue.

If you are married and you didn't iron out these things then that was a huge oversight and needs to 've addressed immediately.

Sit your partner down and tell them that the current arrangement isn't working. You are not happy being the only party bringing home an income and you do not want to be left with the financial commitment of her children when you have your own children that you need to support.

Your partner needs to sort her own affairs, either using CS for kids clothes or going and working for her own cash.

Journey Perez's picture

Well... you're not obligated to buy your step kids clothes. If you choose to than that's out of the kindness of your heart or because you want to help their mom out with her responsibilities. If you can't afford it or simply don't want to because you feel that they have parents to do that for them then definitely express that to your wife. I don't expect my DH to buy my bio son anything that I'm obligated to provide. If he does anyway than that's gravy, but in all honesty my kid is my responsibility. My bio son's father passed away 3 years ago and now my son receives his dad's ssi death benefits. I use that money solely on my son's needs, activities and extra curriculars, as well as save most of it for his college education. Parents need to be more responsible and handle their own biz with their own kids and stop relying solely on the other parent or anyone else to do their job.

On eggshells's picture

I completely understand. My step-kids' mother SENDS her kids here so that we will buy them everything they need. It's not the kids' fault. I know they need things, and on the one hand, I feel bad for them, but it's not my job.

I have a really big thrift store near me, and I think I will take them all there to find a few things they like. I am not breaking the bank for these kids that hate me anyway. Even if they hate me, I still don't want them to go without basic clothing items.

Ready2leave1980's picture

Thanks for the feedback. I knew i couldnt be wrong this time. I think its time for me to make like a tree and get the hell out of here. This relationship is going nowhere.