Inappropriate?
I'm new here so I'm sorry if this is in the wrong category :jawdrop:
SS: 3
SD: 4
OH’s mom called and said that she wants to take the skids on Tuesday and have them spend the night then have us pick them up the next day. She also apparently, without telling OH, called BM’s adoptive mother (so, skid’s non blood grandma) and arranged for her and the skids to drive up to the city they live in to visit.
BM’s adoptive parents denied their own responsibility for BM being raped when she was 4 years old by her adoptive brother. BM’s “dad” said to OH that he needs to keep an eye on skids because they are very attractive children. I think they were 1-2 at the time that he said this. They are extremely religious Seventh Day Adventists and they live in the middle of nowhere. There's been a lot of molestation in their family from what OH has told me. I don't trust them. They force their religion on the skids and I don't think that they need that confusion in their life. Or to be put in a situation where they might be molested.
People say it's not my problem and that I should just be glad for the free time. But what if that free time comes at the price of two innocent kids getting fucked up even more than just being abandoned by their mother, just so that OH and I can have free time? I always think about it. I get a feeling in my gut about those people and I will blame myself if something happens to skids. Even though their dad is the one okaying it with his mom and not telling her it bothered him that she arranged that.
I have told OH’s mother that I don’t trust BM's parents. I think that OH’s mother is two faced. She’s probably going to tell BM’s mom what I said.
I just think the whole 'talking to my son’s ex’s parents without consoling him FIRST' thing is out of bounds and I think she needs to back up. It pissed OH off that she did that.
OH’s mom makes birthday presents for people she hates. So (especially after this) I don’t trust her. If she's going to talk about BM and her family and then be all buddy buddy with them...I don't trust that. And it makes me value the birthday presents she made me in a less sentimental way. Cause I know she also makes presents for people she shit talks.
But yeah, mostly just the whole making arrangements without okaying it with OH first. We WERE going to take the skids to buy Halloween costumes but instead they're going to go get brainwashed a little more and learn to be fake.
He agrees with me but also
He agrees with me but also says that he likes BM parents even though he tells me these things about them.
The fact that your husband
The fact that your husband doesn't have a problem with his going there, leads me to believe he may have lied to you about his exwife's family.
It's possible.
It's possible.
What is an OH? If your DH and
What is an OH?
If your DH and his mother don't care enough bout the safety of these kids to keep the toxic molester gene pool away from them then the only option you have is to get the authorities envolved.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.
If there is a CPS or police
If there is a CPS or police record of the molestation, then DH can get a restraining order so that the children can not be brought around the molester. If they are then DH can get permanent custody.
At least that is what can be done here. My SD's niece had a husband who would not allow his kids anywhere near some of her family due to past molestation of others, and when they divorced she was served with a court order that listed the people her children were not to be around. Her attorney was very clear to her that if she allowed these people near her children her custody would be revoked and she would have supervised visitation.
I was thinking that.
I was thinking that.
OH = Old Husband?
OH = Old Husband?
Yes, other half
Yes, other half
Toddlers don't need religion.
Toddlers don't need religion.
And do they need a mother who abandons them as infants and still leaves them home alone? I don't think so. But they will.
Pointing out the shitty things they've done is being "nit picky"? Uhm, okay...let's just excuse their mother for abandoning them. And for still neglecting them. But she's a Christian, so it's okay.
It's nit picky when you have
It's nit picky when you have no idea if the things you have been told are true. Pretty much everything you have posted about them is based on gossip.
No parent in their right mind would send their kids to spend time with a bunch of child molesters. Your husband lied to you. That is the only way to explain why he's OK with sending his kids to the "monsters" you have described here.
You do not get to decide if someone else's kids need religion. That is up to their father. Again, he doesn't have a problem with it.
Yes your mother in law is
Yes your mother in law is taking the reins away from your husband by arranging things behind his back with his ex in laws. Did the children live with her at some point or did she take over as a main mothering figure in thier lives when your husband broke up with their mother? If so she is used to being in charge where her grandkids are concerned and will not back off unless your husband makes himself very clear that her meddling and organizing behind his back is unacceptable and that he will not allow anything unless he is consulted before hand. When he starts to do that consistently then she will back off.
As for the molesters. I would call your husband out in it and tell him that you do not think that he should let his kids spend time around those people. If he gives some lame excuse and does not prevent it then I would go to his mother and tell her outright that her own son had told you that those people have made inappropriate remarks indicating that they are potential pedophiles and that BM was molested by her family members and nothing was done about it and that you would feel bad if anything happened to the kids while they were with them. Then if mil did nothing I would be calling BM and reminding her about her parents. Then I might even call cps on all of them if they continued with their plans. Even if it is just based on rumors and they can't do anything about it right away at least it will be logged officially.
And then finally I would definately leave my husband because I could not share a bed with a man that would let his kids be put in such a position. If it turns out he is lying about it all then I would still leave him because making up vicious lies about people is also vile. Q
She would babysit for him
She would babysit for him ocassionally. I’m the one who watches them ALL THE TIME yet grandma, who watches them when it’s convenient for her, gets to make the calls?
I did tell him and he says he’s done with them after his mom goes up there this time.
I don’t communicate with BM. She isn’t in the picture right now because she is an idiot and neglectful towards children. Probably because of hmmmm, the family she was “raised” by?
Well that is just fine then,
Well that is just fine then, the kids will only be at risk from the molesters one more time! Really? That is his answer? He is one crazy parent putting his kids in that position. I know my bags would be packed now if I was you and I would have already sent all the information I know to cps.
An abused child is the
An abused child is the responsibility of every adult who knows of the abuse. If any of them fail to either try to prevent the abuse or report it they are breaking the law and complicit in the abuse. Yes, in normal circumstances these are not her children, not her problem. But the one time that it is her responsibility and problem is when abuse is happening.