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Legal help with sd

Jay86's picture
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Long shot and I know y'all aren't lawyers and I'm probably on the wrong page but, like I said about their dad, he's abandoned them at 2, doesn't pay child support or speak to them. I wanted to know if I could legally send the trouble one to live with her, and him not be allowed to file child support on us. She doesn't want to be with us so give it a shot with him.

BethAnne's picture

You might want to give a little more detail. Your post is hard to understand. Who's kids are these? Who isn't paying cs and has abandoned them? Who do they live with now? Who is her and who is he?

Jay86's picture

Sorry. I meant to post the back story, here it is
I am a bio and step dad, my blood child is almost 3 with two step daughter's (15 & 16). I have had them since they were 2 and 3, been married to their mom for ten years, average middle class lifestyle and all that jazz. Up until about 5 years ago, the girls we're like my own and didn't think of them as steps. To this day, you would not think the 15 year old is not mine, we have an excellent relationship, like bio's. The other one is resentful, hateful, spiteful and down right nasty to me, her mom and my two year old little boy. They're dad abandoned them at 2 and I understand that hurts and all, but the younger one has processed the hurt and put it behind her, even the older one doesn't think of him as a DAD, only brings him up to try and hurt me. I grew up around a rough neighborhood and have seen shady and evil people, but she Trump's them all with the lying, false accusations of abuse and telling her school how she's got it so rough (she lives in a 5 bedroom home and I'm the only one working, mom drives an Infiniti, etc). So CPS and the school are familiar with us. They're polar opposites, 15 year old genuinely loves me as a DAD, honor roll student and understands the importance of family and education, we preach it all the time. I work hard, go to church and love my family and would do anything for them. I just don't know how to deal with it anymore. I actually fear that she would hurt my son to get at me and no CPS worker, psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor or therapist will take us seriously on how bad this past several months has been, sorry for blabbing so long, it's just cool to know I'm not crazy or the lone wolf in the situation. Peace guys and God bless.

BethAnne's picture

Well you have no legal rights here. For the child to go and live with her father, her father would have to accept her into his home and her mother agree or a judge order the child to live with her father. As far as cs, it would make sense for the cs to cancel each other out but if the two parents have different incomes it may not. Plus if one parent is paying for insurance and other things then that could affect it too. These things should be talked about with your wife and if she agrees then with a lawyer. Do remember too that the girl will probably still visit in holidays even if this is ever possible.

Jay86's picture

I have no control over this "troubled youth". Me and mom have done the therapy, individually, separately and all that jazz for a long time, the problem lies within her, not us. My other SD is an honor roll student and we get along great. So if the "troubled" one as you say can't get her act together, you gotta go

BethAnne's picture

Has sd had therapy? You could try sending her to a boarding school if there is the money for it and her mother is on board.

Jay86's picture

She's had the therapy, meds, all that stuff. I got laid off and just started a job after 6 months, mom was laid off for a year and started a job yesterday, we both worked in the oil industry. We're trying to get back to normal and he behavior is terrible and has no regards for the financial hardships we've had the past year. We are both needing her give

Jay86's picture

What I'm saying is that all the help has been available to he at her dispense, we've spared no expense in trying to help her, she has to want to help herself. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. When you have a voice message from the school principal saying he wants to strangle your kid cause she's so ignorant and disrespectful, then it's getting out of hand, like I said, it ain't us, my honor roll SD lives in the same house, same treatment, reward and punishment system. There's no imbalance of treatment. It's her creating her own adversity because where we live, these spoiled rotten rich kids get whatever they want and never get told no so they create their own obstacles. We're not one of those privileged people but she thinks she can act like the other ones

Rags's picture

Might I suggest forced emanicipation for the 16yo? Call a lawyer. See what your options are. If she is emancipated then CS may not be a risk regardless of where she lives.

A very good friend of mine had his then 17yo daughter forcibly emancipated. Kids that think they are adults should have that opportunity if they are toxic to the family environment. It worked for my friend.

Jay86's picture

We're looking into emancipation but it's most likely not going to happen. She won't get a job, won't try in school, has no plan for 17-18. She said just the other day when we told her that if she wants to go, you have to prove your case to a judge, she said she'd rather stay in the home and "cause hell". that's some demented s***. We're close to haven't to pay a $1700 truancy fine because she skips during some of her classes

BethAnne's picture

Wow, I mean I get where you are going but I think that encouraging someone to get their step child force fed and revelling in her potential discomfort then restricting menstrual products too is too far in my book. Much better to chuck the kid on to the streets than torture, degrade and humiliate her at home.

Rags's picture

Hey, accountability works one way or the other. The more egregious the behavior the greater the consequential accountability that should be brought to bear by parents.... in an age appropriate manner of course.