Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
We would especially like to thank Aniki for volunteering to be a moderator and for caring so much.
Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
The bitchy side of me would
The bitchy side of me would say: wow your mom buys you a lot of stuff, what have you done for her lately? OR Wow, your mom spends a lot of money on you; I hope she's saving up for your college, car and insurance...
The more reasonable side of me would say: oh? That's nice...Glad you had something to do over there
I wish we had a like button!
I wish we had a like button!
Yep. This is what my SD does
Yep. This is what my SD does once in a while and she's only 5 years old. She'll say things like "my mommy took me there" or "my mommy bought me XYZ" when we know that's not the case because her mother barely sees or talks to her, and she definitely doesn't spend money taking her places/buying her things. So it's kind of sad, really. I think she's just trying to reaffirm outloud that her mom is somehow still part of the picture and hasn't abandoned her.
Yep. This is what my SD does
Yep. This is what my SD does once in a while and she's only 5 years old. She'll say things like "my mommy took me there" or "my mommy bought me XYZ" when we know that's not the case because her mother barely sees or talks to her, and she definitely doesn't spend money taking her places/buying her things. So it's kind of sad, really. I think she's just trying to reaffirm outloud that her mom is somehow still part of the picture and hasn't abandoned her.
Unfortunately it's not a lie,
Unfortunately it's not a lie, even though he is prone to lying about a lot of stuff. The things he brags about are usually true. BM always has a new sugar daddy that spoils SS rotten for a few weeks then he's gone
So instead of addressing it
So instead of addressing it with his daughter and actually parenting her he completely ignored her and focused on your kids? Well done DH. I'm as surprised as you that she's gone.
"before SD was PAS" was what
"before SD was PAS" was what she wrote. Maybe if he spent more time with her and addressed the issues that she was having instead of ignoring her there would not have been allegations or the drama that ensued.
SS is trying to manipulate
SS is trying to manipulate you and DH to get him all that stuff
he thinks if you hear how BM spoils him you will try and beat it....
I would simply say: Well if it's so much fun at BM's why are you here.... go back...
LOL! I don't think he's
LOL!
I don't think he's trying to manipulate us to get what he wants. He knows that doesn't happen at our house. I'm thinking he wants to "one-up" us as he does this to everyone. He has to have the newest and best stuff...
I will add to this and say
I will add to this and say the SS5 does this and he does it because he's been conditioned by BM to ask for more stuff such as when we bought a WiiU for all of us, SS ran back and told BM he got it so she ran out and got one too just to make the households "even". Truthfully she is constantly worried he will like our house more than hers and one day he will decide he doesn't want to go over there so she tries to make it to where he can have all of the fun stuff we have over at her house too. So after four years of this kind of conditioning, SS will sometimes come home and try it on us. Sorry kid, this house runs on a budget not a competition of Love with your Mom.
My SSs would do this as well.
My SSs would do this as well. BM bought them everything under the sun (except socks without holes in them! Ha ha ha!) and took them all over the world. My DH & I still haven't been to Europe, & my SSs have each been twice (4 separate trips with BM over about 10 years,) plus Hawaii. They would constantly talk about those things to us and our DS. Not only that, at Christmastime, after opening gifts at our house, they would brag about all the gifts they either were yet to open or had opened (depending on that year's schedule) back home. We would just say, "that's nice" to whatever it was & move on. It was VERY irritating. For us, it seemed to be best if we didn't make a big deal about it & just acknowledged whatever they said & moved on.
We tried the "that's nice"
We tried the "that's nice" and he still goes on and on...
When do kids understand social etiquette? It's just so annoying!!
This still goes on with our
This still goes on with our skids but I know that underneath it is an attempt for one up on us! BM has had more boyfriends/husbands than I have had hot dinners and the latest guy is always the "one" and the bragging starts again. We find it best to say "oh that's nice" and change the topic. It is a sad way for these kids to cope with continuing upheaval at home. Now......it has taken me eight years to reach a sense of pity for them. I still hate BM so much but the skids? They have to spend half their time with her.....now that's something to be pitied.
I'm sometimes petty, but to
I'm sometimes petty, but to be honest in the past what I have done is things like, "Wow. Well I am glad we don't need those things here to have a good life. We aren't materialistic like that." Or, "Wow. Well we don't have a lot of help paying bills at this house and have to use part of what we make here to help support other people, so we can't do that here." Just petty replies like that is what I have done.
SS is now in 7th grade. To be honest, he hasn't really been overly comparative about the two houses for about 2 years now, so I would say that particular habit stopped around age 11 or so. I am not sure WHY it stopped, as in maturity or if for some other reason, but he doesn't make comments like that anymore.