OMG, welcome to step hell....yes, it is bad and it is worse than you ever thought.

What you have is a serious case of woosie daddeee, it is a horrible syndrome. It manifests itself in a full out case of SM misery, complete with intense neasea, SM always stomaches. It increases in intensity to the point SM, goes into hiding just to protect herself from the madness.

This syndrome apparently lasts a life time with no known cure; there appears to be no known antibiotic for wossie daddeee and even a bat to the head is totally useless. There is no injection or treatment known to SM's world wide;it has been told to be akin to the herpes virus. You have massive episodes of woosie break out and then the virus lies dormat, only lurking a while, just marking time until the next full out outbreak.

This syndrome, ie...woosie daddeee, only grows over time, especially as the children age; by the time they are adults, woosie has taken over his entire body. Eventually, It takes over his entire existence to the point you hardly recognize the man you married (at least when they are around); in this respect, it carries some bipolar characteristics. Remember, If you get too close to it, be careful because it can take over your mind too and make you into a person you do not recognize or even like.

The only way to avoid woosie syndrome is to stay clear of it at all cost. At the slightest sign of yet another breakout, go into hiding and stay there...do not come out until it passes through the breakout phase.

Hope this helps...oh...but there is not much help...:-)

She's always going to be higher on the list of priorities than you are. The real question is, what are you going to do about it?

I guarantee that her version of events is 100% different from what you've posted here (the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle) and it seems like your relationship with your husband is doomed, because he's not going to pick you over her.

Better to get out now.

There shouldn't be any competition. I expect adults to be cognizant of, and willing to adapt to, a different family dynamic when steps are added to the mix. Alas, even you yourself acknowledge that it IS all too often a competition and that's clearly what is happening with this OP's situation ... she practically says that exact thing in her post.

If you'd prefer to use different terminology, great! I'll stick with mine, too.

I think you should take your boys on your own spring break and let Daddy sit at home and pout about his daughter spending her spring break without him on his dime.

I have one of those lol... same age as well

This is what you do - when she pushes between you and who ever, call her out and say, this is not how to act your age, you are almost an adult stop acting like your shoe size and act like your age.

If I talk to SO and Aergia interrupts, I do not walk away, I simply tell her, hey I was busy talking to Dad wait your turn you are being rude... and I simply go on talking to SO... he knows better then ignoring me

Aergia posting photos of Deigma, not a change, he's older then her and I seriously got a lawyer writing her a letter saying, she did not have permission to use his photo and if she does not take it down he will go to court.. she never even dared taking a picture of him again. She also removed it from facebook.

Simply take all your money out of the house hold, separate finances immediately. After DH paid his share of the house hold expenses and the boys stuff he can do with his money what ever he wants. You do not help him out, not even a loan.
I went as far as only buying for Deigma and myself cool drinks or what ever at a game, SO had to buy his own, why cause if I bought something for him he would hand it to Aergia, who paid for it.. me and I said I'm not going to fund her living style.. Since I pulled out all my money, Aergia's living style dropped considerably... I do not care, she not mine and I have no responsibilities towards her.

These girls think they can work us out, they will only succeed if we allow it, stop walking away, put her on the spot, stop being nice, life is not about being nice with them. Make her understand you are the Queen Bee and not her...

Yes, it's annoying but she does sound like a lot of other attention seeking, me, me, me, teens. None of that sounds particularly manipulative or bitchy. Is she spoiled? Sure, but whose fault is that?

Meh - she sounds like the snowflake princess from hell. I get that its the parents fault, etc, but at what point do you stop blaming the parents and they start realizing that what they are doing is WRONG?
That's the part I am having difficulty dealing with. I have a princess snowflake (who isn't too bad, yet) and her dadee always has to serve her the bowls of food we make for dinner so she doesn't have to stop watching her television programs, heaven forbid. I put my foot down and ask that we eat at the dinner table. SO insists that he should drive princess snowflake to school, but as she is always making him late, he has put his foot down and if she isn't ready she walks. Its about setting and reinforcing boundaries. Someone once said that "you should show your crazy", scare the little princess and she will back down. Have you tried standing up to your DH? Standing up to SD? Sometimes you need to throw a little angry around, to instill some healthy respect of boundaries.

If these things bother you so much, what is your recourse? Can you talk to the enablers and change things at all? Or what about talking to SD - supposedly, I am told, even at that age, their brains are still mud. You have to keep telling them. You sound very frustrated, and there are probably a thousand more things that are bothering you (there always is!!!).

Killingme - pffft this is a venting site for Step parents, vent away if people do not like it they can scroll past your vents lol..... ignore the ones you don't like, it's very easy

I fully agree with you, 17 year olds should know the difference between being rude and having manners, yes her father and grand father turns into fleas when she says jump... it's pissing me off as well. SO use to jump till I demanded he should jump for me as well.... that did not work, then I stopped doing stuff for him... if he wanted something to drink and asked me, I would simply say - why Hon you just took cool drink up to your daughters room, call her she can return the favor now.... He would ask her then and she simply replied "get it yourself".... eventually he stopped... answered her the same if she demanded him to jump. Now it took me 12 years of getting to this stage...

And seriously stop walking on egg shells, enough is enough, if her Daddy is not teaching her manners, do it your self...
it's the only way, if Daddy wants to be angry at you... laugh and say - look at the worry in my eye... this is not a child, she's a woman and you have to prepare her for real life, do you think her boss will jump one day?

"I said and did nothing."

And there in lies the problem. Time to destroy this POS kid and make her destruction your primary hobby for the rest of your life or until she catches a clue and pulls her head out of her ass.

She is 17 not 7.

Destroy her.

And have fun doing it. }:)

Anything inappropriate she does confront it immediately. Each and every time. If she thinks she is good at making you miserable.... teach her what misery looks like by making her live it.

Nope, not your fault at all. His fault. Time to take a short step back into the fray and hand DH a list of reasonable standards of behavior for how SD will interface with the family including your DH.

I maintain that beyond his CS or other CO'd obligations 100% of his income is household income, as is your income, and is spent upon discussion and agreement with each other. He should not be able to be the Skid's bankroll beyond CS.

Period.

IMHO of course.

I just want to say here that I hate having a teenage SD that I can't do anything about. After this kid is 18, if there are no plans for a launch, it's apartment time for me or whatever I have to do to just say to my wife that I can't take taking care of an adult that I watched do nothing for 5 years while paying for their room and board.

No way in hell am I paying for a 20+ year old to mooch off of me. I don't consider it that big of a deal now since she's not old enough to move out but eventually it'll probably be time to get out of this situation. It's like torture not being about to shake someone and tell them how unprepared this kid is to do much more than sit around.

I really hope I'm wrong and that I am just being negative because I'm stressed out. But it's like, you think you're going to be a cool parent and have a say and it's all thrown out the window and you become the guy that buys shit and has 0 say in matters pertaining to the child.

Whatever, sorry for the rant in your topic but I didn't want to make a new one to say just that.

Wow. SD17 is definitely not that spoiled, we don't have the money for that. But I bet you if we did I would be in the same situation. Emotionally my husband is all hers though. It's like 2 separate household living under one roof right now. SD does actual physical harm to herself to get his attention..... she did that 2 weeks ago and he is all hers.

This is to the point DH and I were actually talking about splitting up over her. She's 17 and in your life for 1 more year and then she's gone..... I could be here for the rest of our lives.... but I guess that doesn't matter. 1 year is more precious then a life time.