Just wanted to offer something that has helped me deal with crazy BM(HCP) when I have to, it is generally via email.

What is a High Conflict Personality (HCP)? HCP’s have a pattern of increasing high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than resolving it. Bill Eddy, Therapist, Lawyer, and Conflict Management Expert, says that there is an Observable High Conflict Pattern for HCP’s that can be identified by the following four characteristics:

• All-or-nothing thinking – HCP’s see only one solution and don’t take into consideration others points of view. Compromise and flexibility seem impossible for them.

• Unmanaged emotions - HCP’s are often very emotional about their points of view, expressing intense fear, anger, yelling or disrespect for those involved.

• Extreme behaviors - HCP’s frequently engage in extreme behavior. They may shove, hit, spread lies and do whatever they need to in order to get their own way.

• Blaming others – HCP’s don’t accept responsibility for their own actions and blame others for problems in their lives. They are highly critical of others, but see none of their own faults. They feel as if they might not survive if things don’t go their way.

It seems we all know someone with these characteristics. Using BIFF responses, we can at least take the stress off of ourselves a bit because it works to end the escalation of emotion:

BIFF:
Brief
Informative
Friendly
Firm

BIFF Responses avoid the 3 “A’s”:
1. Admonishments
2. Advice
3. Apologies (They will use this as proof that YOU ARE WRONG)

I really enjoy this site. It has been very helpful to me personally. I hope that the information is helpful to others as it has been to me.