Insurance and Braces for Steps or a monthly expense like activities? Should you have to pay?

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Recently, my step daughter asked to get braces because she wants them, she has some small GAPS but they aren't necessary in my opinion unless she wants them cosmetically as an adult.

I did'nt get braces until I was an adult because my parents could not afford and would not pay for them. They were also not a need as i needed them more cosmetically (really small spacing) as well.

She asked me to get them for her. I told her she can ask her mom or dad.

I don't want to have any re-curring expenses for steps, insurance braces. I will however, make sure you have what you need in terms of a place to stay, food, clothing but the heavy duty recurring expenses like activities, braces, insurance benefits are a bio parents responsibility.

How have you guys dealt with something similar to this?

Nowadays kids don't need

Nowadays kids don't need braces for small gaps, they can get invisalign but whatever they get shouldn't be paid by the step parent.

Agreed, thank you. I thought

Agreed, thank you. I thought I should ask because she vented to her dad and I overheard her. He explained that it is her mom and his responsibility but that it is not a need for her.

Thanks for your response, I

Thanks for your response, I think her mom put her up to it.

I wondered if that was the

I wondered if that was the case.

How do you feel about your wife doing that?

Get EVERYTHING in writing--do

Get EVERYTHING in writing--do NOT have orthodonture payments rolled into CS going to the BM.
Chef did this and got the royal shaft. Instead of paying 50% of the braces, we ended up paying 200% of the braces. When they were paid off via months and months and months of additional CS, the Girhippo (BM) said nothing and let the payments keep rolling in. Just as an extra "gift" to her.

Is there a CO that details orthodonture expenses?

Get the information, receipts, financing contracts, etc. directly from the orthodontist. Do NOT rely on the BM to supply the info.

The Girhippo slapped the two oldest in "status" braces the instant they turned eight. I doubt very highly that these kids actually brush their teeth (they NEVER did when they were doing visitation) so it was a total waste (the oldest are 20 and 18 now)

Chef couldn't be bothered checking (because we were living basically off of my salary while practically all of his pay went to CS). I discovered this, had it stopped after several months of court (which Chef fought me tooth and nail on--didn't want to "drag his kids through court" (TM)

Never got paid back retroactively. Pro-GUBM magistrate just said "oh well, gift to the mom--water under the bridge." And that was that.

Thanks for your response. I

Thanks for your response. I am not paying for them, BUT, if her dad decides to he I will recommend as you mentioned above to get documentation for sure since he already pays enough monthly IMO!

A step parent or anyone for

A step parent or anyone for that matter is not legally or morally obligated to DO anything, pay for anything for another persons child.

It is considered a gift.

(ahhh the I need braces story)

I agree, also I wonder if she

I agree, also I wonder if she really just wants them because her pal has them.

that is EXACTLY why both OSS

that is EXACTLY why both OSS and SD got them. Because other kids were getting them.

HA! I knew there was a trend.

HA! I knew there was a trend. An expensive trend that is.

We paid for YSD's braces, the

We paid for YSD's braces, the extensive deferred dental work she needed because BM is useless, and the wisdom teeth that had to be extracted before the braces could be put on.

BM was on welfare forever, but apparently couldn't be bothered to make her kid brush her snaggly teeth or take her for free dental work.

YSD got her braces off shortly before senior prom, which was cool. However, within a year I noticed she wasn't wearing her retainer and I never saw it in the bathroom. Apparently she lost it, but by then I was done and didn't mention it to DH. YSD is in her thirties now and can fix her own crooked teeth.

You did well to redirect your skid to her parents. It's not your responsibility to pay for her needs or wants, and she was out of line to ask you.

Right she was out of line,

Right she was out of line, and somewhat out of character because she never asks for big ticket items before. She knows that is a mum and dad thing. I feel like her mom put her up to it and she asked the wrong parent lmao.

I commend you for helping with your SD dental work. If I had bonded with my step child better or if it were a severe need I'd help too.

That would piss me off about the retainer! Yes let her fix her own teeth now.

Exjulie- this is where we

Exjulie- this is where we are, SO spents thousands on braces and skid loses the retainer TWICE now. Last time he told her mom to make the skid pay for it herself but did she??? NOPE! Now skid has the new retainer and doesn't wear it. I have no words for some people.

Grrrrrrrrr!!!!

One important thing to note

One important thing to note is, your insurances no longer cover braces for anyone over the age of 18. Most insurance companies have changed it to that rule.
And most insurance companies only pay for 1/2. That typically leave $3000 or more out of pocket for the parents.
Invisalign is actually MORE expensive than traditional braces are.

Trust me, I found all of this out the hard way. I went to see about getting braces again as an adult. I had braces at a young age and my teeth shifted due to my wisdom teeth coming in. My insurance won't cover anyone over 18 and according to the orthodontist, this is the norm now.

I don't believe braces are a requirement unless the child has some major issues going on.

My SS's all need braces but considering their BM nor DH ever had them, no one is willing to foot the bill for them. YSS was told a year ago he needed to start the process because he has so much over crowding that his adult teeth can't come down. BM hasn't went back again once she found out the cost. I made sure my BS had braces due to a severe overbite but I am NOT responsible for my SS's teeth in any way at all.

I agree, and I would imagine

I agree, and I would imagine there is some comparison in your home because of you covering BS and not step son.

This is where the fair but equal line comes in. Ill be fair to the child in my home, but it may not be equal because everything is not OUR responsibility as step moms.

I agree, and I would imagine

I agree, and I would imagine there is some comparison in your home because of you covering BS and not step son.

This is where the fair but equal line comes in. Ill be fair to the child in my home, but it may not be equal because everything is not OUR responsibility as step moms.

I don't pay for shit for

I don't pay for shit for someone else's child. Not ever again. If the PARENTS can't be bothered, I guess the kid doesn't need it.

I agree, its like I am NOT

I agree, its like I am NOT taking on a 300 a month bill when she has two healthy parents.

I laughed reading this,

I laughed reading this, because there was a very large argument (not involving me thankfully) but between Raging Hippo BM, Tweedle the boyfriend and SO all about braces.

By the by, BM is very high-drama, and pretends to be so concerned, yet the only time she takes her kids to dentist is when SO is paying for it. Luckily she has great insurance for Winona SD18 has multitude of problems, etc...

Raging Hippo BM was complaining to Tweedle that SO would not pay for braces for Winona SD(now) 18, and that he should pony up before she turned 18, so insurance could cover it. Insurance doesn't cover even before 18. SO checked. Tweedle was drinking and telling children that their father was a deadbeat that doesn't take of them, and that he's a bad father. Tweedle has no children of his own and hes almost 50. SO calmly explained that Winona SD17 was really bad about taking care of her teeth, was not responsible, plus insurance doesn't cover braces, and she doesn't really need them - that it was simple vanity. He went on to calmly explain that Tweedle should not go around telling his children he is a bad father. That he should not believe all the stories that he is getting.

The response he got (on speaker phone, mind you), was that Tweedle always hears the bad (from BM), and its difficult to not feel/think that way. About floored me with his honesty!!!! Hes not a bad guy, just really sort of a dufus character. It kind of must seem strange to Tweedle that his experience with SO is so positive, yet he hears all the bad stories from BM!!!!! Talk about cognitive dissonance!

Wants are not necessities.

Wants are not necessities. We delivered on necessities for SS and I can only remember but once when we delivered on a want of his. We bought him a PS two and thus began the spiral into the pits of hell of the Skid's zombie like stare into infinity, poor school performance, etc.....

We took it away a number of months later and for the next 5 years he did not touch a game system in our home.

That said... if he had NEEDED braces we would have delivered on that need. If it was just a want... he could make it happen when he became an adult.

It is better to do braces

It is better to do braces when they are kids things move better, also many insurances pay nothing for adults but do for kids.

My son will need braces and my co says his dad has to pay 43% and I pay 57%, my insurance will pay for 1500.00. He is already telling BS he does not need braces ( he so does and the kid knows it as well and is self conscious ) I will most likely pay for the whole thing myself because I love my child and am thankful that my parents made sure that I had braces.

Thanks for your response. I

Thanks for your response. I definitely will pay for braces for my kids if they need them, and I agree they do move easier when they are kids. Hopefully I have better insurance by the time my kids actually need them. My husband reached out to her mom to see if she can afford the payments. So we will see. I'll leave that with them.

Thanks for your response. I

You did good... with telling

You did good... with telling her ASK your parents...

It's not your responsibility, not even to provide insurance for her....

When stepparents decide to

When stepparents decide to pay for things or support their skids and their spouses etc they have no one to blame but themselves. Imho it's a bad idea but many women go for it. It always backfires. Don't make thats mistake

Like others said, don't do

Like others said, don't do it. The stupid BM in my story actually had my insurance be the first payor for SS's braces, then my DH, then her. I found this out and not only did I rip her for this, but I went into the dentist's office and told them that my insurance is the third payor. Of course my insurance company was shocked when I told them and there are of course provisions for things like this.

Bio parents are always the primary responsible parties. If the parents don't want to pay, well then the child should take it up with them.

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Insurance and Braces for Steps or a monthly expense like activities? Should you have to pay?