I became pregnant in the fall of last year after I had only met BF’s 10 year old son a few times. I usually like kids, and I didn’t mind his son at first, and I also figured I had to try because of the baby on the way. The more I got to know him, the more I disliked him. My friend is convinced the boy has a form of Asperger’s, but honestly I think he’s just been a spoiled brat his whole life, was never taught how to act and there’s nothing actually wrong with him. I can’t stand the annoying little jerk.

BF is a sales rep and travels a lot. He lived with his parents because he needed help taking care of his son while he was working. He has custody and the mother gets him on the weekends. In the spring after I realized I was never going to like the kid or even tolerate him, I told him things were not going to work out, and I didn’t want him moving in with me. He had been talking about moving in with me after school let out, and I was not going to end up stuck with a kid I didn’t want anything to do with. I made it very clear if he wanted to live with me and the baby that his kid would have to go live with his mother, I did not want him in my house.

Well, school let out after the first week of June and the baby was due in a month and I couldn’t use stairs anymore. I have an office/guest room that had all my important things in it. I basically used it as a “Woman Cave” for lack of a better word. While I was at work BF boxed up all my things so he could give that room to his kid, after I had told him to leave it alone, because he knew I couldn’t use stairs and wouldn’t notice. That room had my grandmother’s bed in it, and the dresser that was my dad’s when he was a kid and then was mine since I was a baby. I came home from work on a Friday and surprise! They were both there with all their things. They still moved right in after I had said no. He gave his kid my room and my furniture, the kid now calls it “his room, and his bed” and that makes my blood boil every time I hear it. No. Just no. I have no idea where my things are any more. Everything that meant the most to me was in there. Packed in a box somewhere. I feel like my maternity leave and time I had to spend with my newborn were ruined by this kid and I will never get that time with my son back.

When they first moved in, I had to deal with lights left on, TV left on, cabinet doors left open, trash and toys everywhere, the gate to the basement stairs left open (it was for the dog, now it’s a necessity with the baby, the constant forgetting to close it is dangerous for the baby), and every single rule I have was broken. That is a lot to deal with for someone who is used to living alone and having a spotless house. The kid would take over my TV for the entire day with his games. He plays games that have a 17 year old rating and I have said he can’t play them here, he needs to play age appropriate games, and I get ignored by him and his father. He was used to being babied by his grandparents and was allowed to do whatever he wanted. Last Easter, I had bought him an Easter basket with books and games in it and it sat for months, he never touched any of it. He would rather sit in front of the TV and play video games. I packed it up for my baby when he gets older and swore I would never buy that kid another thing. He would leave the bathroom light on at night to sleep, as well as having 2 nightlights. He’s 10. I finally put my foot down over the bathroom light. It’s absurd. He also sleeps with little stuffed animals that he takes to school with him in his backpack on Fridays so that he has them to sleep with at his mother’s. I’m afraid the other kids would make fun of him if they found out. The kid is absent-minded, lazy, spoiled, doesn’t listen- it just goes in one ear and out the other, has absolutely no common sense, and acts half his age. He was never taught any manners or social skills and can’t entertain himself like a normal kid would. He has to be told to do basic things like sit down, or he will just stand there and stare. He has no respect for me or my things, or my home, and can’t remember basic, simple rules after months of being told. Sometimes I swear to God if I hear “I forgot” one more time I’m going to lose it. He has no concept of appropriate behavior. He is constantly sick and getting my baby sick. My dog runs from him and one of my cats hisses at him. This is their home and they aren’t happy either. He doesn’t interact with his baby brother at all, and just stands there looking at him awkwardly when his father tells him to play with his brother. The baby was sleeping one day and my parents were visiting, and we were all outside for a few minutes discussing some improvements I wanted to make on the house. I went in the house and the baby was screaming, that kid was in the next room playing with his toys and completely ignoring him. I was never so angry in all my life. My neighbor’s 7-year old son plays with the baby and takes care of him more than his own brother does. My best friends daughter refuses to come to my house anymore, she says he’s creepy and weird and makes her uncomfortable, and I would have to agree with her, he is creepy and weird. When the baby was smaller, I would just take him and hide in my bedroom to get away from the kid. The baby is almost 10 months old now though and needs more room to play, and I can’t really do that anymore. I’m never happy and I don’t want my baby to think his mom’s always mean and grumpy, so I try to hide it from him the best I can. His father makes excuses for him and tries to say he’s only 10. Yes he is 10 and I expect him to act like it, not a toddler that he acts like.

BF goes and leaves for work for days at a time and leaves the kid with me. Just expects me to watch him, even after I have said "no" I don’t know how many times. If he can’t take care of him himself then he shouldn’t have the kid. I’m not a babysitter. Not my kid, not my problem. If he’s away on a Sunday he will send me a text telling me I need to go pick kid up. HELL NO. I refuse to do that too. Why the hell would I do that when I don’t want to watch him to begin with? The mother can bring him or keep him, I don’t give a shit. Absolutely not my job. I wish she would keep him. While he’s away the kid gets back from school and I find myself wishing I could just leave the door locked. I can’t even bring myself to say “home from school”, because my house is not his home. After work when I get the baby from the babysitter, I want to get my baby and leave that stupid kid there. I have contemplated many times just calling his mother to come and get him. Even when his father is there I am in a bad mood and miserable constantly. I can’t stand to look at the kid or hear his voice. Sometimes I want to grab him and throw him outside and lock the door. I have always been a calm person and have never felt this kind of rage before. I hate feeling that way. I try to leave for work in the morning before he finishes getting ready for school so I don’t have to see him, and I don’t even want to come home at night. I have to sit at my desk and talk myself into leaving work. The only reason I do is because of my baby, if it weren’t for him, I would just stay there until late, and then I end up crying the whole drive home. I usually cry myself to sleep as well. My blood pressure was always normal, recently it has been high because I’m so stressed. I have told him countless times the kid needs to go live with his mother. I told him not to enroll him in school here when last summer was over, he did it anyway. He knows I don’t want this kid yet he still spends money on a lawyer so he can keep custody because the kid’s mother wants him too. Now he wants me to go and testify to the judge so the kid can stay. Absolutely not, I have refused so far. He says she doesn’t want him, she only wants child support. I don’t care if the woman only wants the kid for the child support. I don’t want the kid either.

I’m not changing my mind. I’m not staying in a situation that makes me this miserable. I am not living with that kid. I’m not signing up for something I don’t want, and I didn’t, I told him not to bring him here. It is not my fault he ignored me. He shouldn’t have brought him here and he had no business putting him in my room. You can’t push a kid onto someone who doesn’t want him. He isn’t mine, he isn’t my responsibility, I don’t like him, I don’t want anything to do with him. I’m never going to like him. I don’t even tolerate him. I can’t stand being in the same room as him. The only days I’m somewhat happy are Fridays and Saturdays, and I hate Sundays. I wake up so angry. Yet he always goes and gets him and brings him back, no matter how mad I get. I have so much hate and anger built up toward him for pushing a kid on to me that I don’t like or want. I don't know what he thinks "No" means or "I'm done" means, but I've been saying both of them for months and it certainly doesn't mean maybe or I'll eventually change my mind if he keeps forcing me into it.

I’m not settling for a life like this. I’ve actually told him the kid goes or you both do. If I let him stay without the kid though and custody gets reversed, then I’m stuck with the kid on weekends. I don’t want him here during the week, I sure as hell don’t want him ruining my weekends, that would be even worse than the weeks. His dad is gone a lot of weekends too and I would be stuck with him alone. How do I get that kid out of my home? I have put my foot down so many times. I have told him if you keep bringing him back here then you and I are going to be finished and you’re both going. I’m done with this shit and I mean it. I get ignored, but I have absolutely had enough. It’s my home, I can’t leave. If it were the other way around and I lived with him I would have taken the baby and left long ago. I feel so used and bullied and I don’t know what to do. I need to figure out how to enforce what I say. I really don’t care what I have to do to never have to see that kid again.