Visitation change
Bm gets 8 hours a week, supervised by DH's family. Well, DH has a new job and we only have one vehicle, limiting the time we can get SD3 to visits. BM usually comes for one visit a week for 2 hours or so. Here lately she's missed a handful of visits after we dropped SD off, and she's been less conistent.
Things like asking me via facebook messenger instead of a text even though she has been told more than once that I leave my data off when I am not using it since mine is limited.
Knows we go to bed early, waits til between 8-9pm to message me to ask for a visit the following day.
When she can't have the time she requests, rearranging is difficult because she makes social plans for the following day etc, then complains because "we refused to give her a visit this week"
Is this enough grounds to get a modification to the parenting plan? Until now it's been a loose schedule but our county has a visitation center to do scheduled visits but you have to pay a small fee ($10 i think) per visit
It sounds like at the very
It sounds like at the very least you need some guidelines as to notice and method of communication.
Though it can be frustrating
Though it can be frustrating for the CP household the only real advantage that an NCP has is the ability to not take a visitation if they choose. What you can do is get the 8hr visitations scheduled and if she shows up she sees the kid and if not... she doesn't. With the history of inconsistency that she has you may be able to get the CO amended to limit her time even more and the Judge might stipulate a specific day and time for BM to be at the visitation center.
Others have suggested strictly sticking with then CO regarding visitation and that is exactly the right thing to do IMHO.
We are followjng the
We are followjng the parenting plan set in court, but it lacks any kind of firm schedule. It just says she is permitted up to 8 hours a week, and lists who is permitted to supervise.
The idea behind it was to be flexible to suit the schedules of the people available to supervise. DH allows me to do visits but not in our home, so it's sort of ineffective for me to do it since I have no vehicle to meet somewhere. DH and BM are both comfortable with his family supervising, but they have jobs and obligations of their own so it's sort of touch and go finding someone available.
We document EVERY visit scheduled, when they are missed, and how long she is there. She hasn't ever made her 8 hours.
Forgive me if this is a dumb question, but what is a registered letter?
I do think we need a little more structure but since his work keeps him gone from 530am to 5pm, that doesn't leave a lot of time for visits in the evening, and we are having trouble getting someone consistantly available AND able to do pick up or drop off.
His family is willing to help to a degree but they don't want to be constantly uprooting their lives, and her family...well, there isnt anyone in her family both fit to supervise and available.
Ok, I will encourage him to
Ok, I will encourage him to outline a more specific schedule, amd send it registered. He may prefer just to go to the county facility.
Regarding that, a couple more questions. Does anyone know if we need the judge to sign off on making her do visits there, or is that something DH can do of his own initiative?
Also, would it seem reasonable to set a day at the center, and then leave additional hours up to negotiation if she shows up for that visit?
Like, notify her that a visit is consistently possible on sunday from 2-5 or something, and if she wants more hours than that, she can request them but if she doesnt show up sunday we wont jump through hoops to give her another day. Something like that?
DH is finding out for sure
DH is finding out for sure but I believe they keep staff to supervise. Not sure if that means paid or volunteer. Either way, we are getting info today. It's tough getting family to commit with regularity but I am pretty confident I can find SOMEONE to do it IF its regularmy scheduled. thank you!
If it was up to me I would
If it was up to me I would just do it at the center. CO says family supervised though, so I don't want to encourage DH to do that if we are going to piss off the judge.
Center........ Why is dh
Center........
Why is dh family doing sup visits? don't tell me, they offered. Right?
DH can always say it has become burdensome sometime impossible to co-ordinate visitations and his family has requested the courts understanding for removing themselves as supervisors. They have been SOOOOO upset by all of this and I WE, no longer want them to be under such pressure.
That is a round-about way of saying JUDGE, BM is being an ass hole to my family.
IF he asks for further explanation---tell it like it is. BM is not being responsible, she always tells ME she has social plans and can not comply. Sally doesn't know what is going on or when she can see her MOM. HAVING a mandated Licensed Center holding her accountable will be best for the child.
OP: My experience with a parent not attending sup visits has ended up with a JUDGE not happy with that parent. NOT the parent who are trying to work it out.
Poor step child...doesn't know whats going on and it is true.
Is she a drug addict? Sounds like it to me. Most drug addicts are very hard to work with. A drunk would show up and be slopped UP, gushing all over the child at the visit. The visit would end very quickly IF not before the timer was set.
Just my experience. Oh one more thing. TURN OFF YOUR PHONE and block your husbands ex wife on your cell.
JMO
FATBEAR one more thing. BM
FATBEAR one more thing.
BM would NOT get away with this IF dh's family was not supervising and she was accountable to a center. It is her problem not yours/DH...don't make it dh's OK.
Did you ever play whack a mole?