Teen SS not wanting DH to be called "Dad" by my kids
My DD(16) has started calling my DH "Dad". Before, she called him by his first name. We have been married for 8 years and he has accepted and cared for both of my kids as his own. My ex has not been involved for most of her life and not at all for the last year. DD wants my DH to adopt her. My DH wants this to happen also, and we are exploring our options and seeking legal advice in doing so.
Since she has started calling him Dad, SS17 has started making snide comments, forcing her to not sit next to DH when we are at a table, purposely creating situations to make my DD feel left out and point out that DH isn't her real dad, etc. I get that this is jealousy, and I think he is really too old to be acting like that, but my DH will only tell him to "be quiet" when he hears it. And DD won't say anything to DH or SS when SS's being a jerk.
Anyone else went through this? Any advice?
Nope we did not have to deal
Nope we did not have to deal with this crap because my SS is an only child in our family though he is the eldest of four out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawn on the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool. The younger three are out of two other baby mamas.
I was the first person my SS called Dad(dy). His mom and I met and started dating when SS was 15mo old. We married a week before he turned 2yo. Twenty years later he asked me to adopt him. We made that happen a few months before his 23rd birthday. That marked the procurement of official documentation of what had always been fact. I am the only REAL dad he has ever had. He knows it and he chose me as much as I chose him. His mom is the amazing bond that holds us together as a family.
The fact is that your SS gets no say in the adoption topic. That is between your DH and your daughter. If SS choses to be a toxic prick over the topic then he will ultimately hurt only himself and will cause only his own disengagement from the family that you and his dad have made.
Even if her BioDad wont tolerate an adoption your DD only has another couple of years to wait until she can become your DH's daughter officially. Adult adoption is extremely simple... at least it was for us in Texas. A week after my son told me he wanted "a full meal deal adoption" his mom and I met with our attorney and four days after that the judge signed the adoption order including SS's assuming our family name. Upon that signature for the first time my son and his mom shared their family name..... all three of us did. It was an incredible moment for all of us though SS was on the phone with us when our attorney walked out of the court room with the signature. He could not get leave to attend but he was fully engaged and participatory.
I hope that your SS extricates is head from his butt on this but if he doesn't and you and DH get the paperwork completed for the adoption then all of SS's bullshit become moot because DH will be DD's REAL dad complete with paperwork.
Good luck to all of you. At least to the three of you if SS refuses to get on board.