Send a card and call it a day!

Forums:

If I send a birthday card, am I obligated to call on the person's birthday? MIL's birthday is next week. This year DH and I purchased her birthday cards along with the Christmas cards.

I mailed her card yesterday.

Last year I called and she wasn't home. I left a message. She called DH and told him to tell me thank you. Ok no biggie right.

MIL called Christmas Day, wished DH a Merry Christmas and got off the phone with the quickness. She didn't even tell DH to wish me a Merry Christmas. Again ok no bighie.

We seemed to have a good relationship in the beginning, but since October of last year things are weird.

Nonetheless my question is.....do you send a birthday card and call to wish the person a Happy Birthday?

I would say it is entirely up

I would say it is entirely up to you, a separate card from you and DH seems unnecessary,and she is his mom. I would get DH to get the card,send it or take it and put both your names on. Why should you do more?

Sorry Fairyo, I meant to say

Sorry Fairyo, I meant to say I signed my name to the card DH sent. You're right his mom, nothing extra is needed from me.

No. I send the card so I

No. I send the card so I don't have to call! Sign the card your husband gets and let him call her!
Of course, if you think it's weird lately and you want to smooth things out, you can go the extra mile and call her. But I don't think it's necessary.

I don't think it's necessary

I don't think it's necessary for me to call either. The card has been mailed, I signed my name and that is good enough for me. No extra mile here.

Call it a day totally! Let DH

Call it a day totally!

Let DH send the card; have him address it and sign it the way he wishes. This is what I do with my adult skids. It's DH's problem. Our mother's are no longer with us, so that is not a problem. If my MIL did as yours, hand it over to DH, without any discussion.

Tell DH to relieve you of some of the errands and for him to do such things as sending his family cards.

Obviously, something is going on???? Why is she so cool all of a sudden? Is DH betraying you to his mother, or has she got a burr for another reason? This happened with my DH and SD56. All of a sudden she was becoming more and more rude (15 years ago); come to find out (4 years ago) DH was betraying every little thing about our lives to his DD.

Well, guess what? It's his problem now, I'm disengaged and he wishes he had never betrayed me.

Hi Sammi to my knowledge DH

Hi Sammi to my knowledge DH hasn't betrayed me. She did a 360 last October when DH's brother showed up.

I would call her to say hello. She said she appreciated my calling, because DH's ex would never call. Not a true statement. She did call. I am guessing MIL started giving her the cold shoulder too so she stopped.

The last time I called her she acted as if she didn't want to be bothered. I put the breaks on immediately.

DH will be visiting in a few weeks and he will be making that trip alone.

Bless you. I'm sorry.

Me too. We were off to such a

Me too. We were off to such a wonderful start. Oh well.

If you sent a birthday card

If you sent a birthday card you do not need to call. But your DH should call her and wish her a happy birthday from the two of you.

Hi Queensway, I like that

Hi Queensway, I like that idea. He can call and say Happy Birthday from the two of us.

All I do for my MIL is sign a

All I do for my MIL is sign a card DH buys, he would call her and say happy birthday from us. I don't tolerate any nonsense from MIL or her husband, DH's step father. Once I stopped visiting them with DH, for 4 years because they were very rude to me. Since I have resumed I have had no further trouble with them.