This will be okay? Right?

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Okay... So... My husband has two children (SS-14 and SD-12) and I have a son from a previous marriage who is also 12, then we have a daughter between us who just turned 2. When we got together DH told me that if I wanted another baby we could have one. After a year of marriage he said he changed his mind and no longer wanted any more children. I still want another baby but only if he wants one too. Problem... Though I take my pill regularly at the exact same time every day and haven't taken any other medications that could interfere with the effectiveness, I am pretty sure I am pregnant. I know he doesn't want another child, but if I really am pregnant there is NO WAY I could have an abortion. I just don't believe in it. Hopefully this is a false alarm and I don't even need to stress but on the "what if" front what are your thoughts and opinions on how to deal with this??

My that would be very

My that would be very stressful. Have you taken a test? That would be the first thing.
You may be worried about nothing. If you are pregnant find a quiet time to tell him.
The pill while very effective is not 100% effective. Google those statistics.
Women do get pregnant on the pill even if they are faithful in taking them.

What do you mean? Like he's

What do you mean? Like he's not going to blow up and scream and yell at me?

No, I guess I'm just worried

No, I guess I'm just worried because he was adamant about not wanting another kid to the point where I was looking into getting my tubes tied because the last thing I wanted was to feel alone like I'll feel if I have to tell him I am and he's like wtf... : (

You're right. Thank you so

You're right. Thank you so much. I feel better just being reassured by anyone right now.

If he was that adamant about

If he was that adamant about not having babies, then he could have gotten snipped. Or worn a condom. Or not had sex.

Babies are a "consequence" of having sex. Even with taking all, or many, precautions, it's still possible to get pregnant or impregnate someone.

If you truly have been taking the pill, he has no reason to get mad AT YOU. He can be frustrated by the situation, or even disappointed that he's going to be a father again, but in no way is it "your fault". Don't let him make you think it is if it comes to be that you are pregnant.

^Agree. If he was really done

^Agree. If he was really done then the snip and a bag of peas would have been his best option. Sucks that you have to be on hormonal birth control every month so he can have his fun.

Is he the only one having

Is he the only one having fun?

I really don't get why the women responding seem so angry with this man for being honest about not wanting more kids. He has THREE already. The world is overpopulated. He has a right to his feelings and he isn't a bad guy just because the OP THINKS she's pregnant.

I believe the point that most

I believe the point that most posters are making is that he should take responsibility for his own part of the equation if he doesn't want children. As long as he's got live swimmers then he can make a baby. Either wear a condom or get the snip.

So I should keep my iud even

So I should keep my iud even though my DH got a vasectomy, right? Because I should take responsibility for myself? Even though we both agreed the big V was our method of BC?

It's up to you but people

It's up to you but people have conceived even after a vac. If a couple is done having kids then both of them should be responsible for their part. When I was attending church these birth control failures were often called *miracles*. Yes, just the miracle the family with 7 mouths to feed needed.

Is he the only one having

Is he the only one having fun?

Take the test. Then deal with

Take the test. Then deal with the situation. You can't worry about things that have not happened.

Once I got told my husband I

Once I got told my husband I was pregnant with number 2 (who was very much planned) the first thing he said, "This is it. No more babies!"

And continued to remind me that he was done over the next two years. (I had wanted just one more)

So when number 3 surprised us, I was worried. He wasn't thrilled, but wasn't mad at all. He was in denial for the first few weeks. Until the morning sickness came.

I'm about 18 weeks now and he's come to terms with it. Researched the best hospital/midwives (we had a bad experience last time) and has been generally helpful.

We both agree this is it. He was sour about a vasectomy the last time around but now he's reconsidering lol. I'm at least going to hop on the IUD train.

You need to look at this

You need to look at this another way, if your DH didn't want another child then HE should have went in and got snipped.

Men are such a$$holes, they say no no no to more kids, then when you tell him to take care of it, they whine like a baby, if they are told to go get snipped.

We were not quite in your

We were not quite in your situation. We were "trying to decide" whether we could handle/afford/really wanted another baby. Our "ours" baby was 5 and a huge handful, plus we had SSs 10 and 12. I had gone off of the pill "while we were trying to decide" but felt sure I knew "my cycle" so I wouldn't get pregnant. DH fully knew I was not on the pill, and relied on me telling him I thought we were "safe." 3 months later and "oops!" That's when I realized if you're not doing anything to keep from getting pregnant, you're trying to get pregnant! ha ha ha! My DH was there with me when I took the test, and we were both stunned together. He was VERY supportive, and our "ooops" baby is now 10.

He's the fourth boy for DH, who makes no apologies that DS10 is his FAVORITE of all 4, since DS10 ADORES DH, is the first son to play football (as DH did), loves guitar (as DH does) and is the spitting image of DH. He also is the kindest, sweetest, most polite child. We say he's the one who's going to take care of us when we're old! lol! And he even tells us he most definitely will have a basement in his house where we can live! ha ha ha! While he was not "planned" by us, we firmly believe he was planned by God. I can't imagine our lives without him. If you think you are pregnant, I think it's better to tell your DH as soon as possible so he can be part of the process. And btw, when DS10 was born (via c-section) I had my tubes clamped so he really is the last one. ha ha ha. Good luck!

I agree with the others. If a

I agree with the others. If a person does not want ANY more children they should pull up their socks and get fixed.

Sex wasn't invented for fun and games. It is for the procreation of the species. No sex, no species.

Where is he on the whole vasectomy discussion?

So you never discussed what

So you never discussed what would happen if you accidently did get pregnant? That was the first thing we hashed out when my DH said he was done and before he made his vasectomy appointment.

I disagree that sex is for procreation. This isn't 1764. We have evolved past our basic functions. Sex is important for the health of a marraige. You two chose your method of preventing pregnancy. If it fails, you TWO should decide what to do.

Have you ever told him you would never choose abortion? If you didn't even have a conversation about this and you are assuming his reaction because you didn't communicate...yeah I could see this going sideways fast.

If you are on the pill you

If you are on the pill you are most likely not preggo. Get tested. All this drama without knowing is silly.

You are here

This will be okay? Right?