The only trip I have ever been on with the SDs in tow, was a weekend with my mother in law, which was horrible.
I have never, ever been on a family holiday with DH and his daughters, and would never have. I would rather sit in a dungeon poking wire under my toenails for a week.

DH has taken the SDs away quite a few times without me, usually just for a few days to theme parks, but once he took them abroad for a week, I declined to go.

Your holiday should be your holiday - an enjoyable opportunity to relax and recharge. If it is not this, then what's the point? A trip where you exhaust yourself meeting the needs of demanding step kids is not a vacation.

Went on a family trip once, only once with SO, his brat, myself and my brat. After that never again.

Reasons being different parenting styles, I obey the law, my under age kid will not hang in bars till 4am, SO had no problem with his 13 year old daughter doing this and he told my son (17) to keep an eye on her, which gave my son the idea I was okay with this, after I told both kids to be home at 7pm - small holiday resort...

After that ... nope never again, we go to the same resort annually but I never paid anything, I would cater for my son and my son only, I'm SO's partner, he invited me, thus he had to pay for me and his daughter. My son was already drinking age and I told him, home by 12, not later, and text me when you leave, no need in asking or announcing it allowed cause you are not Aergia's baby sitter, and well Aergia did not want to be with us during the day, cause she would simply take beer and I would say, excuse me since when can you drink ? Pissed her off and SO, I stood my ground and said, sorry while you are in my presence I will not allow under age drinking, then I decided one day not to join them on the beach. SO was very upset and I said... sorry you know my stance on under age drinking.. since then he told Aergia to stay at home and we where alone with friends drinking etc.

Oh he did tell Aergia she's welcome to join us but she will not use alcohol, she decided to stay at home...

Even now that she's drinking age, if we go to the beach or resort somewhere, she's not allowed to drink unless she brought her own booze, She never does and SO never buys for her, he simply does not think of it, I simply say, SO you invited me as a guest, yet I had to cater for myself, you invited Aergia as a guest, you should've catered for us both or at least her, Guest do not cater for each other and the host only for himself... hence Aergia decline any invites lol

Yes, to answer your question. But, this sounds like just about any vacation with kids, step or not: ". . . kids were very needy, expensive and exhausting and its supposed to be a vacation."

Every vacation with Killjoy was a nightmare, from first to last, beginning to end. I kept trying because I'm stupid. I shoulda given up after the first one. Never again. And since DH won't go on vacation without me, she doesn't go, we have fun vacays alone together. Killjoy has already gotten several vacations she was not grateful for, more than my kids ever got. We don't feel bad in the least.

She went out of her way to sabotage the vacays for everyone. That seems to be a common theme amongst these brats. It goes beyond normal kid behavior.

She couldn't enjoy anything. She didn't like anything and nothing was ever good enough for her. It's how Killjoy got her name. She has to ruin every outing, meal, event, vacay, with her pouting and tantrums. Never. Again.

I should have quit much, much sooner.

I hope it's okay because we just booked a cruise to Jamaica for just the two of us!!

We do have a "family" vacation planned for this summer to southern California with SS10, we are going to meet up with my adult children and their families. I can't wait, but I am also SO excited for the cruise.

Not sure there is a vacation rule book? Telling you whom to take along on what is supposed to be a relaxing trip?

I can understand that any trip with skids can be stressful - that is NOT the point of the time out from ordinary life.

Arrange your holidays or vacations as you see fit and yes, you can always decline to take along unwanted people. Hell, I didn't even take my husband on holiday at the end of last year! He stayed home with the cat.

Anymore?

Never have, never will.

Yes. IMO it is a requisite to a relaxing peaceful vacation. NO SKIDS=BEST VACATION EVER!

Heck yes!
I didn't travel with DH and SDs for over a year, nor did I even go to a restaurant with them during that time. I was straight up with DH that if he chose to let the SDs determine what we did, where we went, what we ate and their constant complaining then I would not go with them. And I didn't. And I generally still don't. The only vacations I've been on with them recently is to visit my family and his family - and if we're visiting my family I have control.

Never have; never will.

I find it completely un-relaxing to vacation with my SSs. It's all about entertaining them. Even when we go to DH's family cabin in the woods, they need someone to arrange activities for them. Money is tight right now for us, so DH and I will probably skip a summer trip I wanted to take to attend a friend's wedding. I told him that if we skipped that trip, then I'm not interested in paying for a "family" vacation. He didn't take SSs on "vacation" (other than to the family cabin) before he met me and I don't think he and BM took the kids on many family vacations either. If I'm giving up my vacation, then I think we can all sacrifice a vacation.

Last year when we had SSs for a week over the summer, one of them screamed and cried every night and wanted to go home to his mother (he's 12, was 11 last summer) for the first three days. I don't need to deal with that while also paying to entertain him during the day.

I went on vacation last summer with SO and SD17, and it was a disaster. I had so many good intentions, I thought we were going to «bond», what a joke!

The vacation was only a week long, but it took a toll on my couple. The problem is that my SO seems to utterly lose his voice when he's with SD, so she ends up pretty much deciding everything.

That is strange because when we travel just the two of us, my SO and I talk about what we want to do, and he has ideas and is as assertive as I am, but when SD is there, it's like he doesn't have a preference about anything, and that is a real turnoff for me. Also, I feel bad about voicing my own opinions in that dynamic, because if he doesn't have a voice, I don't feel that my own voice would count either, I don't know...

I refuse to do any more trips with the skids, it is not how I want to spend my time so I don't. My SO still takes them on trips, I take vacation time while they are gone and LOVE my alone time. There is one week during the summer they go home and during that one week I also take vacation.

Took one "family" vacation with bios and SD. It was horrible. I didn't tell SO but I will NEVER do that again. I'm not spending my money and PTO to spend even more time with SD and not be appreciated. It is sad when you are having such a bad time on vacation that you are looking forward to going back to work! Kinda defeats the purpose!

I did it once, reluctantly.
And I'm also in the never again camp.
(nobody believes that part, though)

My vacation time is more valuable to me than the nonsense I threw it away on.
Plus it cost me money for animal caretakers while away.

Being utterly ignored and not considered beyond being the only person actually keeping an eye on the kids is not my idea of a good time or even anything I'd wish on an enemy. Lol

To spend my precious time and money for that honor? Pfft. That was a whole bunch of dumb I'll not participate in again, thank you very much.

I gave up a trip to Iceland and Ireland to go on a family trip to another province with exSO and exSS5. What a mistake! Never again did I set myself up for that fun. :O

In this relationship, I don't think SO would even ask to bring the adult SSs on vacation as he wouldn't want to foot the bill and the SSs can't afford it anyway on their own. If he did, I might be more open to it as I do get along with them but it would have to be separate rooms, that's for sure.

Yes but for me it was a joint agreement between DH and I to not take the skids on any more holidays. Occassionally we might do a few days down the coast (we live very close to beautiful beaches and resorts) but other than that I'll be waiting until SD16 is an adult and hopefully living with BM full-time before I consider holidays again with SS15 (who I love) and DS3.

My SD has ruined every holiday we have ever had as a blended family and she's not interested in going on holidays anyway so it was a complete waste of money and time. 

If your DH wants/expects you to come on family holidays then it's going to be a lot harder to disengage from them but worthwhile I reckon.