When I first starting dating my BF I was nervous to tell him anything about my previous relationship. In all honesty, I was really embarrassed that I let myself be treated badly by a man. I was embarrassed that I spent three years with someone and I couldn't see just how bad of a person he really was.
Now I think my BF is feeling the same thing. I think he is embarrassed by his ex's constant harassing him and her eratic behavior, so he hasn't been telling me about it.
So my boss is starting a new business. Long story short, I didn't know where she worked until her name came up as I was putting together an invitation list for the kick-off party. She happens to work for a company that could be vital for the business. I mentioned this to BF and he said to take her off the list because she will sabotage the business if she knows I even work there.
And I thought it was all blowing over like he said it would. But it's not. And I thought it was all blowing over because he's not telling me what she's saying and doing because I think he's embarrassed that he has this kind of baggage. And I think he thinks that I'll leave him because I won't want to deal with his baggage. I can deal with the baggage, the thing I can't deal with is secrets. I know we all have them, and there are certainly things that are better left unsaid, but this isn't one of them. If there is a threat to our relationship, or to me personally (and I believe that she has threatened me), I feel he should tell me, and I feel that we should handle it as a couple. Instead he tries to micromanage everything to appease both me and her and I think he's going to find that it gets rather tiresome.
Last night I was laying on the couch, with BF laying on my shoulder, and his son in my lap. I was so happy and content that I teared up. I love these two men so much. It's ironic that when we first starting dating I didn't want BF to be friendly with her. Be careful what you wish for. Now all I want is for everyone to just get along. And that's not about me, it's about the child that they both love, that I fell in love with. Doesn't he deserve better than this?