The darkness that lurks when I think about BM. (Post not for the faint of heart)
I know this sounds horrible but I have slowly started to come to the conclusion that the BM's really just got pregnant with my huband to turn him into her own personal version of welfare.
I used to be really sympathetic to single mom's on welfare and getting cp, but I'm really getting soured by these woman's behavior. My hb's first wife has never had a job a day in her life. Yes having three kids is a job, but her only son left is now 12 she could work while he's in school. Instead she just collects my husband's returement check and badmouths him all the while.
Wife number two is even worse. She outright lies to get more cp and still badmouths my husband. She had three children out of wedlock and never bothered to get training or skills that would support this. Then she wants sympathy and I really don't have any.
#2 found out that I had given up a child for adoption and rubs it in my face at every opportunity. I made that sacrifice so the child would have his needs met, which the Father never would have and I had ZERO support and didn't want to drag the baby through poverty. I could have had an opportunity to abort but decided to go through with the pregnancy, which the adoptive family personally thanks me for. I have an open adoption and I know for certain that my son is doing well and is surrounding by love. Even the nurse in the hospital said that what I was doing was noble.
BM thinks that my adoption is fair game and I really wish I could tell her that people like her are the reason that so many people chose abortion over adoption. If I had aborted I would never have to listen to these people's judgments. The conception of the child was not exactly voluntary and I think I did the best thing I could with a bad hand. I would really like to show her pictures of abortions and say, ignorant ho's like you cause this. I'm pro-choce and all but I really think these assh#$$ that pick on people who adopt out deserve to be reincarnated as a baby that is aborted. I know that's dark, but I think people are a little nuts when it comes to these kind of issues; or at least I am.
I would never use someone's rape/adoption as part of my female rivalry no matter how much I dislike someone and I don't feel like I am dealing with someone who is truly human.
I also would like to tell her that she is the worst kind of whore there is because she uses her children as a tool to support herself. I would like to tell her that I have more respect for a crack whore on the streets than I do for her because at least the street whore is up front about things.
I don't respect BM #1 because I think she is lazy but I have to admit that I truly hate BM # 2. I hate her for using anything and everything as a weapon. She is the only person I know that I have ever wished would get raped and become pregnant. Let's see how she handles it. If she would shut the F!!# up about my son I know I wouldn't have such trecharus feelings for her.
I know it isn't healthy to hate anybody this much but I do. I also have times when I feel sorry for her because her life can't be all that great for her to act like this, but then I think about how she uses the kids- even kids that aren't hers, and I just really wish her ill.
The fact that she is in a way going after my son is why I hate her so much. I think there must be some genetic thing that makes people want to kill anyone who is threatening towards their children. Then she turns around and acts all worried that her daughter will be molested by her cousins, but considers it fair game to use sexual abuse against me.
After being all nicey nice with my sd, her former sd, to get personal info about me, she turns around and takes the cp for my sd's baby for months after sd stopped living with her. This woman exploited a drug addicted teenager and then exploited a teen mom to get gossip and money.
I don't think this woman deserves to be a mother. I actually don't think this woman deserves to breathe for that matter. I don't want her to die. I want her to get the most painful disease possible and live for a long long time.
I'm not going to act on any of my feelings and I don't hold this grudge against any of the kids. I just hate her and I don't know what to do about it. I know I need to deal with this somehow and I am working on it.
Well, I should probably go focus on something a little happier.
- Susanna's blog
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Comments
..... of course it hurts....
First of all, I want to tell you that you DID do a good and noble thing when you gave up that child for adoption. You made the ultimate sacrifice for love. Stand tall and be proud.
You can expect her to chose that to hurt you with - for no other reason that because "it hurts you." That - and because it makes her situation "feel better" to HER. You don't need to respond to her comments, but if you do, it should be very limited. And should NOT sound defensive.
Learn by your mistakes. Know that whatever you tell the kids, that your comments and "secrets" are undoubtedly "community property."
Stand tall. You deserve it.
Sending cyber-hugs,
Tootsie
Oh, Susanna!
God, I really don't know what to say except that I am sorry for your pain, humbled by your selfless sacrifice in regards to your child and in awe of the strength you've shown in not ripping this woman a new one, which she so clearly deserves. I hope it helps to get this off your chest and if you need to vent, then vent away... you've been here long enough to know you'll get plenty of support from us.
As for this BM who keeps bringing this up to hurt you... please don't keep giving her the power to hurt you. Pity her for being an evil person whose life is so utterly devoid of anything positive that she has to spread her negativity onto others just to achieve any personal satisfaction of her own. How pathetic is that? You are brave and strong, so be proud of yourself and let her be water off a duck's back. Actually, let her be the pond scum clinging to the water off the duck's back!
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
I know just what you are saying....
My husband's ex is the same way.... don't they all seem to be?
I was 16 years old when my first child (my son)was born (I have two bio and two step kids). At that time my son's dad was much more stable than myself, for that reason I agreed to appointing his dad as the "custodian" in our parenting plan. I have my son approximately 40% of the time, joint decision making, and I agreed to the arrangement, it was NOT court ordered.
As soon as my husband's ex caught wind that I am not labled the "custodian" in our parenting plan she began claiming that I had "lost" custody of my son, this along with all of her other allegations against me. My husband's two kids are in our care 47% of the time and his ex attempted to take the kids away from us claiming that I had "lost" custody of my son, so why should I be allowed to care for her kids?
I can't tell you how many times I have to remind myself to consider the source on that one as this is comming from a woman whom does nothing for her children and is only interested in what they can do for her. Still, that one pushed me over the edge... I can now say that I truly dislike the bitch, (I hate saying hate).
What you did was the right thing and you know it. You put your child's needs above you own and you did the best thing for your child. I know it was not easy for you.... but you are stronger than that. CONSIDER THE SOURCE...Women like the ex you deal with and the one I deal with will never understand the kind of love that you displayed to your child because they are not capable of truly loving anyone other than themselves.
Rest assured that everything you put out really does come back to you.... I have seen it (and lived it) time and time again. It may not seem like it now, but she will get back what she is putting out onto you.
My dad has been in AA forever now and there is a page in his Alcoholics Annonymous book that he gave to me long ago and when I am under attack by my husband's ex I read this page many times throughout the day and it has always helped me a lot. I hope it will help you too:
**When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away.
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation - some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.