The Famous "I TOLD YOU SO'S"
I can't begin to tell you how many times I have called BM's moves before she even makes them. And then DH looks at me like I am some sort of witch because I can "tell the future". Why is it that we KNOW what they are up to long before the big reveal?
Here's the most recent example-
When BM and DH first started the mediation process, DH allowed several things to be added to keep BM from flipping her lid- Such as- he had SS till 1 on Saturdays... which soon after we had changed to 3 then to 5. We kind of had to ease her into it... the ones that bother me are things like "Mother can pick son up from daycare, if available, on ANY given day to deliver SON to FATHER by 6 PM". Because she "can't handle" going 3 straight days with out seeing him. I have objected to this from DAY ONE because when BM picks SS up and drops him off, she somehow convinces him on the way to our house that we are something of DEVIL people and he wants nothing to do with us by the time he gets home. This means that if she got off work at 5, and so did we... if SHE beat us to daycare, she would pick him up, fill his head... pump him full of junk food, usually french fries, then bring him kicking and screaming to our house. So, now I have driven to daycare, just to find that SHE has already picked him up and then come home to a whiney, crying kid that now will not interact with anyone, cries that he wants his mom for the next 24 hours and won't eat his dinner because he ate french fries. This went on until she lost her job, then she would pick him up even earlier...take him back to her house, get him all comfortable and thinking he is going to be there for the night and then tell him he HAS to go to Daddy's and she is going to miss him and drum up some fake tears.. blah blah blah- Now she is back to work-
I tried to tell DH that this was a bad idea. It deminished when we moved to a neighboring town 8 months ago about 30 minutes away from her house because she was not able to get him to us by 6 pm... too long of a drive. It has been really nice. SS is adjusting well to NOT seeing his mom every day and we can have some sort of normalcy. So DH didn't think it a big deal to have it removed from the mediation paperwork. I tried to tell him, DO IT ANYWAYS CYA- this b*tch is crazy she will figure it out. SOMEHOW she has convinced her boss that she needs to get off early on Fridays- so here we go again. We will never have a normal uninterrupted week with him. She just HAS to come in and F him up in the head. Poor kid. My heart breaks for him sometimes. What to do What to do? I am hoping that I can convince DH to have the mediation paperwork revised- maybe the fact that I have been able to call her shots for the past 3 years... maybe he will take my word this time and do something about it...
okay- today's venting session, COMPLETE.
- Daddysgirl's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I told you so's
Can you guys change this? She shouldn't be picking him up from day care except on her weekends. Especially if she is going to feed him junk food and saying negative things about the two of you.
Been there
My dh's ex started fixing up her house, and putting hardwood floors in. Then she goes on a training course for her job. Can anyone else see that she was planning on moving for 8 months before she told us? I have been telling my dh her moves for the past 5 years
Men just can't see how women do not do anything without planning it for months even years in advance. Even if they are crazy they can still put a plan together that would make an army general proud.
Just my take on things
DJ
Yep, been there... done that...
And still doing it.
I had my SS's BM pegged from day one, and I tell you, once I appeared on the scene, this women... though fought tooth and nail in the beginning to screw up what little time that my DH had with his son for less... it just got worse for her because I WAS on the scene and saw her coming. I always am one step ahead of her... geeh... could it be because WE'RE WOMEN!?!?! I daahh know? Takes one to think like one.
But I have to say, that the only reason that my DH has the house that we now currently live in today, is because that while they were married, she actively sought out for the worst possible fix-it-upper she could find. She even turned down a perfectly 'normal' newly remodeled home, that was the same price, only one block away. Reason for turning that one down was because the 'backyard faced the school field' (which I would have LOVED if it were me.) Geeh... what's wrong with sending your kid out to play?!?!?
Meanwhile, she filed for divorce, unbeknownst to DH, and only stayed in this home for about three months at the most... so she had this planned for months. She knew she wasn't happy, she knew she was going to file for divorce, so she decided to screw him over by 'purchasing' this crappy house that needed huge (And I mean HUGE) amount of repair, (STILL in HUGE amounts of repair... it's a constant constant steady drum) then, wham... guess what honey! I'm divorcing you and taking your son too. But keep the house... on me!
When DH told me about his past, I'm the one that brought that to his attention... um, so, you guys bought this house, then three months later, she moved out and sent you papers? Yep, she screwed you over on purpose.
Yep, the I told you so's are pretty regular in our house too.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
You beat us by one month!
Four months after DH's ex convinced him to buy a new house, she filed the divorce petition. And guess what? Yep! She got the house in the divorce, deeded to her only, along with enough $$$ to make the payments on it. My husband? All he got was a concrete room in the barracks and his name on a mortgage for a house that she and her new husband were living in. Shit really hit the fan when they stopped making payments and the bank was thisclose to foreclosing. We threatened to sue if she didn't refinance. She did eventually sell it, which got his name off the mortgage, but for five long years, we couldn't buy a house, car, NOTHING because of his name being on that house and her being so far behind in the payments. And yes, she'd been planning it for MONTHS.
~ Anne ~
Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)
Oh, believe me...
At first she went after the house too, but after hearing all of the laundry list of 'fix it/repairs' that needed to be done, and the over all cost of monies that it would take... she dropped it.
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
ME TOO!!
I totally understand what you are saying.... I too am always one step ahead of my husband's ex.... nonetheless my husband has not wised up enough to listen to me!! It seriously drives me insane!! What I don't understand is why some husbands (inculding mine) continue to give their exes the benefit of the doubt when they so clearly don't deserve it. Sometimes I want to crack him over the head with a large dose of REALITY.
Well in our home, I`m called
Well in our home, I`m called the witch and hubby calls his ex `The Bitch`.
I can predict what she`s gonna do next to cause trouble and we have a good laugh about it now.
She`s been an out and out bitch....until last week when all of a sudden she texts and says she`d like to talk things over before we get to the final hearing at court. We`ve gone down the mediation route with no joy and she`s made contact with ss sooooo difficult, we`ve still tried to be nice despite wanting to rip her head off a lot of the time but now she wants to play nice??!! All because her bf has dumped her, she has no one to pick up ss after school on a monday. She actually asked if ss could come and spend time with us on monday as it was hubbys b.day (well that was her excuse).....this has never happened before and I`d predicted the split between her and the bf as the reason why this time was being offered to us, (she had to work hard to eventually get a neighbour to pick ss up from school but after asking if he could come here and being extremely desperate about the court process and how it`s affecting her job, she couldn`t really take that offer back).
Anyways, ss comes round on monday for an hour in the evening and tells us his mum and her bf have split but please can we not let her know he told us. Hubby just looks at me and grins......that grin just lets me know that the word `witch` is on his lips lol. we have a laugh about it when ss has gone home. Of course we won`t let her know that ss told us, we never repeat what ss tells us if he asks us not to.
I have no idea how, but I can predict `The Bitch` before she even knows what she`s going to do next and I have done since hubby and I met nearly 2 years ago.
Because I'm a Witch
DH has really gotten used to the fact that I can call her shots before they are made. And now when I say that she is up to something he says "you are probably right", and everytime... I am. After the first few months of this DH would say "HOW do you know these things" and I would say in my best Montey Python Voice "But, I'm not a witch".
I think I have finally made it clear to DH that we do need to go back to mediation and have some adjustments made. Anything that gives her physical access to SS on our days is to be removed. She will flip her lid, but it will be worth it in the end.
I seriously told DH that I thought BM was pregnant about 6 months ago- next thing you know she is calling me, asking me to take her for an abortion. Now you may be asking yourself at this moment "why YOU??? Why is she asking her ex husbands WIFE to take her for an abortion??" Well my friends... because she has NO ONE else. I am not the only one she is a bitch too, she has scared off all of her friends. To be left with- ME. And I am not terribly nice to her most of the time, because she makes stupid stupid life choices that effect my SS. It really is a sad sad existance. Oh well... I don't think she will put up too much of a fight in mediation right now as long as we are not taking any of her days away.. she knows in her heart that if this were to go to trial she would be awarded visitation only... she is too unstable.