She called him "hun"
Today when I got home from work, BF told me about this message that BM had left on the answering machine. He heard the words "Hey hun -" and clicked off the message before listening to the rest of it. He said he didn't want to hear whatever she had to say if she was preceeding it with "Hey hun"!
So I listened to the message. All she said was, "Hey hun, I'm trying to get a hold of SS. Have him call me." I looked at BF and asked him basically WTF? He said she's trying to get back together with him and this is part of how she's showing him that.
I told him that if I were him, I would send her an email stating that it was fine for her to call to talk to me about SS but she was to call me by my name, not some term of endearment. I don't think he's even going to address it. I don't know if that would piss her off or empower her. I really wish he'd say something about it to her. I know it made him very uncomfortable.
And me? I'm not even upset. I just feel sorry for her, and kind of amused.
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I wouldn't acknowledge it either but I have a question...
I wouldn't acknowledge it either but I have a question...I posted a blog earlier about text messages and the ex-biatch I deal with. How does it not bother you? I'm sure at some point it did and needed advice on how to not let things bother me. I'm a pretty strong, successful person but never been involved in a situation like this psycho-ex / stepmom thing and it was one of your posts quite some time ago that actually got me involved in this site. For that I thank you..I was starting to think I was crazy.
I have found that it does empower them if you acknowledge it...I just need advice on how to deal or better cope.
RE:
Thinking back, I can't remember much along the "They Used To Have a Relationship" or the "She Wants Him Back" front which did really -bother- me. I just regard it as a fact of life. Being jealous about it isn't going to help anyone or change anything, so I'm just not. Mostly, it just amuses me and makes me pity her even more.
She has done many things like this in the past. This one is actually mild. Most of them have been directly to me, though, with her hardly ever overtly hitting on BF to where I could witness it. For example, she'd tell me that he had come home to her and held her all night long, or that he got down on his knees and begged her to take him back, crying and pleading...or that she went to his business and they screwed propped up against my desk, or that when she would come to talk about SS he would run his hands up her shirt...or that he would call her on days that he knew SS wouldn't be with her to talk about their relationship and how much he thought he screwed up and wanted to be a family (something she has continued to claim to this day though conveniently refuses to show any proof like phone records). And here recently she's been emailing him saying that SS tells her that BF seems sad when he comes to visit us and lays his head on SS's shoulder and cries, telling him that he misses his family and wants to come back home. She even offered to let him come back if he would promise it would be permanent because "SS doesn't deserve to have his feelings messed with like that". So many things of the same nature, all said only to me from her with no proof or even reason whatsoever show me that she's basically just trying to "get to me" in whatever way. You'd think after three years she'd give up, but what she lacks in sanity she more than makes up for in bullheadedness.
I guess that after all of these things, you kind of learn that she's just delusional, lonely, and "heartbroken" (I say heartbroken in quotes because it's hard to believe that someone so bitter and full of hatred and lies could have a heart to break), and her efforts to "win him back" (I say that in quotes because after listening to her say she'd never take him back and claiming he's begged to come back but she just laughs at him, it's hard to view these actions as anything other than a power play to her) have always been and will always be fruitless. It helps that BF is completely disgusted by her efforts to win him back. It's also kind of hard to take someone seriously who says these things hours after screaming incomprehensible babble at the top of her lungs because she's so pissed off at BF and me, or threatening to take him to court for everything he has, or telling him that he's not a father, he is nothing.
In short, there comes a point when you realize that she has no chance in hell of succeeding, that she's not at all in her right mind, and that little things like her calling him hun are not something to get all upset over when you have more important things to worry about.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
She is Trying to Get to You
I know it is aggravating but this woman is just trying to get under your skin. To me as long as DH isn't calling her Hun I wouldnt let it get to you. Acknowledging her would only give her satisfaction. You ought to get DH to call her and say "YO BITCH" I am calling you back. How about that for a term of endearment!!!
Haha
That was actually his suggestion! lol
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
I agree...I'd lose it though...
ARGH! I need to learn from all you women who just let it slide...I'd lose it...but I honestly LOVE Cruella's solution the most! haha...Almost rolled on the floor laughing...Definitely sounds like something I'd do...hehe...
But it is disgusting what these women will try...You know, our BM a few months ago when DH tried to call SD (of course, she's never available) tried to have a little "conversation" with DH and all she said was..."guess what...I have something to tell you..." He literally told her, that he really wasn't in the mood to listen to her...unless SD was around, he had nothing to say to her...and hung up. Of course, she wasn't happy...hehe...Now thinking, she has a new myspace page where she states she is single...I wonder if that's the bit of info she wanted to give to him...Oh well, he really couldn't care less...and let it show...
Though I will have to say
It almost caused a tear in the fabric of reality for the words "Hey hun" to come out of her mouth. When all you hear out of someone is hatred and anger, it's so weird to hear them call someone "hun"!
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Just let it go.
De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
You have the right frame of mind Nymph. We go through the same thing, bm would call or even write in a letter to dh how "we used to be in love when we created ss" " dont you remember the first time you held ss, how much love we three shared...ect." Its all bullshit on DH end, he laughs and is like "Honestly, I never loved her, she was the biggest mistake of my life..I mean he had an affair on her 1 week before he married her with an ex girlfriend of his...that should have been his sign" Our relationship,(dh and I) is built on a foundation of love, trust and respect..all of which he did not have with her, but she still trys her shit. When dh or I have confronted her in the past she claims she wouldnt take dh back, she is happy in her new single life!!! Then why the letters, the texts, the phone calls where you try to reminiscence with dh about the past you two shared??? The bm's actions never meet their words. I know I dont ever call my ex to reminiscence about life with him...I have moved on and dont want to live in the past...if we talk, which is so rare, its about our kids only, then its goodbye. I too know dh doesnt want bb back, so I just laugh off her feeble attempts at trying to get him back, just like he does. Truly it is sad they cant move on with their lives.
When my husband and I were
When my husband and I were just dating BM would call his cell phone about 20 times a day and if she knew we would be out without kids she would call even more....this went on for about 9 months before I told him to stop it or I would...in my world there was no reason to call unless it was in regards to sd, she didn't like that too much as a matter of fact we went 2 months without seeing sd because of it,,,she doesn't call that much anymore now its usually when she wants money or to be a bitch...sd did inform me that her mom says that my husband will always love her but they just can't get along...sd also said that bm always wants to talk to bf...I think its funny and I know she says that shit knowing sd will tell me...I couldn't give 2 shits what she thinks my husband feels about her I know how he feels why would he want a cheeseburger when he has steak and potatos at home...Nymph honey I think she not only wanted your husband to know she wants him back she clearly wants you to know...I'm proud of you I wouldn't give this crazy loon the time of day...
It just adds to her level of insanity
how crazy do you have to be to hate someone one minute and call them "hun" the next?! I agree that it shouldn't even bother you b/c you can't take someone this crazy seriously! You have to just look at her and think to yourself..."psycho...". She is plains nuts and unstable.
The sweet talk didn't last long
It never fails, as soon as BF drops SS off from visitation and she's had time to sit him down and interrogate him until he cracks, we get a dozen or so messages on the machine on how she doesn't agree with anything that happened over the weekend.
I was thinking on the way home - what makes her think she has the right? What makes her think that she is entitled to run my household and tell me who SS can and can not be around while he is here? What makes her think that she has the power to say that I need to NOT be around SS and BF needs to make alternative arrangments for when SS is with us, and if HE doesn't take care of it then SHE WILL? What makes her think that she has the right to cuss and carry on like a madwoman about everything that happens, then withold information from us? She informed BF today that he has no right to seek medical attention for SS because SHE is the primary custodian and HIS request didn't mean SHIT. What makes her think she has the right??
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
b/c she is crazy
that is why she thinks the way she does. She doesn't have the right to run your house or dictate how things occur in your home just b/c her son resides there during visitation. She gave up her right to run her son's life 100% of the time when she and bf decided to get divorced. She thinks bf wants her back b/c she is crazy, she thinks she is going to get your boss in trouble b/c she is crazy, she thinks she can run your home b/c she is crazy, and she thinks bf can't make any decisions for his son b/c she is crazy, and she thinks the judges will be 100% on her side no matter how ridiculous she is being b/c she is crazy.
You can't justify her actions b/c there is no reason a person should behave this way. Keep the wall up, ignore her ridiculous behavior, and do what you want when you want w/o answering to her.
She is just doing these things to try to make your life miserable....don't let her succeed!!!
Unfortuanatly most bm's
De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
have a sense of entitlement that only THEY are allowed to have. Bm in our case thinks she can dictate everything that goes on in our home including what we are to feed ss when he is in our home. We just got to the point where we were like uhhm Yea ok, and then did things the way we want to anyway, and this is how we will continue to be until she wakes up and realizes that her control, her power and her sense of entitlement ends at our front door.
Yuck
This reminds me of the night BM came to pick up SS and gave me a rather curt, "Hi," when I answered the door and invited her in with a smile. Y'all should have heard the sugary, "Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy," she oozed to my husband when he came into our living room. All I could think was, "Lady, you'd better be nice to both of us because he and I make decisions together and if you go pissin' me off, he'll know."
Sad, tragic, and pathetic some of these BMs are...