I wouldn't allow it either. The child is 7. BM realizes that her daughter is too young to solely care for it, BM doesn't want the responsibility of caring for the puppy while SD is visiting with you, so she says dog goes with daughter. Translation: You will wind up taking care of the dog.

If its just a puppy, it'll need housebroken. That could be very difficult and confusing for it in two different homes. Here's another point to ponder: What happens when DH decides to take you and DD on a weekend outing? Who takes care of the dog then? Will you and DH have to foot the cost for a kennel? What about the food and vet bill issue?

Stand your ground.

Why should you take responsibility for a dog that you don't want?? SD is 7 years old.... YOU will end up taking care of the dog and you shouldn't be put in that position.

My kids and skids all have pets that stay IN their respective homes.... I couldn't imagine even entertaining the idea of pushing 'our' pets on my ex or dh's ex and vise versa!

"Don't be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people ever have is when they take a bite out of you."

If Mommy got the doggy, Mommy can babysit doggy when SD is at your home. Let me guess, doggy gets sick at your house and the Vet bill is in the 100's. Who pays? Remember, after awhile that puppy wont be so cute and YOU will be taking care of it! Stick to your guns on this one.

I told DH that SD couldn't bring her guinea pig with her when she moved in with us (the first time 9 years ago). It was smelly, peed on everything and she didn't seem to care. He said ok and we ended up with the damned thing anyway b/c BM sent it with her and left.

Sorry to be so negative, but if BM sends the dog with her, you can't just leave it out on the porch and she knows it.
marika

And Bm and SD want the dog to go back and forth but Dh and I don't allow it. I agree with you, don't do it, it will only lead to trouble. What if BM fails to keep up to date on the shots and the dog gets sick and dies at your house? You could be looking at a lawsuit. I second Mary, you could get stuck with vet bills as well. Your thinking is right on, SD may be upset at first, but she will get over it. Whatever you do, stick to your guns the whole time, if you even agree for a little while it will be hard to undo. Good luck!

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I---
I took the one less traveled by,
and that made all the difference. -Robert Frost-

but I would say "no" on the back and forth of the dog to. It's just asking for problems to arise. Even if the dog is trained perfectly and does have all of it's shots, there will still be some kind of issues.

Dawn

And just in case you needed an 8th person to give advise...Tell DH that the puppy stays with the person that bought him/her. I don't need to repeat all the excellent reasons why puppy stays at HIS home, because each post got them all.

And if SD pitches a fit, which she probably will, you're the adult and know what's best for children...of any species.

that because the pet is 'sk's' that means that the dog has to travel. Come on, if one parent gets the pet for the child THEY should be responsible for taking care of it while the child is not there... the only reason why this happens, is not because of the dog, because they think that the kid is going to take care of it, not them.

There is no way I would be carting back and forth a dog... poor dog!

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

First of all, HELLO! Long time, no see! Second of all, I'm assuming SD has a bed at her mom's house, too, right? Proof that SOME of SD's things belong there permanently. The bed is one of them. The dog is another.

~ Anne ~

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My boyfriend and I are in the process of moving in together and we found out last night that his son's mother (BM (not ex-wife btw)...I am new to the lingo!) bought a puppy and decided that the puppy will travel with her son (my soon to be SS). There was no discussion, she just decided (for all of us) that this would be best for her son because her fiance has moved in and son is having issues. I think buying a puppy isn't the way to solve her son's issues with her fiance BUT, that's just my opinion. AND my opinion is that the new pup will not travel with son. I thought I was being a demanding witch but after reading these posts, I'm for sure sticking to my NO. Thank you all for being here!

That is not a possession it is an animal. My SD's tried that with only a turtle and we said no way. My DH and I said that since BM allowed them to get it was their responsibilty to have her take care of them when they are at our house! The nerve of some people,buying a puppy for a kid and "telling" the DH and SM that it is coming with the kid!

I am an avid doggy person. I have no kids so my two boys are my kids. But I'll be damned if I ever let them step foot in BM's house even if the skids wanted that. Now granted, I got the boys for me and not the kids but this is a ridiculous situation this women has put you in. Under no circumstance would I let my skids bring their dog from BM's house to mine. First off, because I know they do not take care of her the way the boys are taken care of, second off, my boys actually have manners and based on how my skids act, I can only imagine how their dog is. I know this is a stupid post, but seriously, NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!