ok first of all, stop, take a breath, now let it out, and realize that becoming a mother for the first time was never meant to be easy but it is an amazing miracle that God has given you. Think for a second about how wonderful you are. You are making a life right now. You are actually creating a beautiful little angel that depends completly on you. It needs you for comfort, nutriousment and love. Try not to think about what the dreaded EX and SD thinks for a second. Throw away the worries of everything you are or may give up for your child. It will be ok. God never gives us anything we can not handle.

Sure the coffee and wine will be missed. But try decaffinated for a change so you can at least have the taste. I am not sure but I think you are allowed to have a glass of wine while you are pregnant. You will have to check that out more.

Breast feeding you will have to find a way to compromise with. Breast feed the entire time you are home the first weeks. When you start to work (if you decide to) breast feed when you are at home and pump the rest of the milk for your little one to have the rest of the time. I know it won't be the same but even though it's coming from a bottle doesn't mean you still can't be connected to the feedings.

Take a little time for yourself and you may find a little more connection to your pregnancy. Some people have to wait until the baby is born to feel happy and connected. I think if you try to put some of the stress away and think about the wonderful little things that are going to happen when becoming a mother then the "happy" gene will show up!

Hope this helps a little.

@>--- bama step mom

The whole situtation can be very hard. Try to relax. Check with your docotor about having a glass of wine now and then. While I was prego, my doctor said a drink once and a while will be fine. Plus I still drank coffee. But just one cup a day. (but do keep in mind that other drinks have caffine in them) So if you drink soad pop, then the coffee may be an issue. Don't worry about BM and SD. I'm not sure how old SD is. But a lot of kids like babies. SS7 often treats DD like his personal doll (DD is 9 months now) too bad for him, that she's starting to fight it. I hope things will calm down. If you can breatfeed it is the best. like the prevoius post said pump and breast feed when you can. Just a warning though. Breast feeding is not as natural as people say. It takes work and effort both for you and baby. But trust me, if you can work and are able to do it, it is great. here in Canada i get a year off with 60% of my pay for mat leave. I don't know what it is like where you are. I am finding that even that year is not long enough.

yeah I guess here in Alberta Canada, we get 15 weeks mat. then the rest is parental leave, that either the father or mother can take. It can equal up to one year. it's paid through Alberta Employment Insuance. So I only get 60%, or a max of $800. I bring in about $700 every two weeks. but you have to be employed at one place for a year before you qualify. I suppose I'm really lucky! I'm surpired they don't have that it the states. I couldn 't imagine having to leave a 6 week old baby in day care with out his/her mom. That would be so hard.

You can do both. I did it, so I know it can be done. I went to the daycare and nursed on my lunch break and I pumped extra in the evenings and on weekends so that he could have my milk while he was at daycare, too. Neither of my kids have ever had a drop of formula, so I never had to deal with finding the right formula. They're both really healthy, no allergies, no weight issues. No offense to bottle-feeding mothers, but I highly recommend it. It's so much nicer to just roll over and nurse instead of getting out of bed to fix a bottle, then nurse. With my daughter, my husband would get up with her in the night, change her diaper, then bring her into our bed to nurse. I barely even had to wake up. I know it isn't the same, but you can still have decaf and, believe it or not, my ob/gyn told me a half a glass of wine sparingly wouldn't hurt anything. (I was going through a divorce during my first pregnancy.)

~ Anne ~

"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook

I was high risk 2 out of 3 times. I HATE being pregnant because I get really heavy, tired, sick etc.

BUT...I am a wonderful mom. Once that baby gets here my mother hen rears her head. I was a natural breastfeeder, though that's not the way it goes for everyone. I would ask around for the best lactation consultant in your area and go to her class, no matter if it's the one that works with your hospital/ob or not. I did and it was what made it such a wonderful experience for me. That woman saved me from quitting. I didn't work and nurse, so I imagine that's even more difficult and cause for some professional help.

Just know that you can make it through this pregnancy, and that this new life has the potential to forever redefine yours in the most profound way.

Goodluck

Peace, love, and red wine

and my milk just never came in. I did homeopathic herbs, teas, pumped round the clock ect...cried lots and even just did the whole comfort nursing thing. And my milk just never came in.

However, my son is 6 months old, in excellent health ( had the sniffles once)and in in the 50th percentile height & weight wise. He is beautiful beyond belief, peaople come up to me all the time telling me how beautiful he is. Developementally he is right where he should be & he was 3 1/2 weeks early so that is really great because he is where he would have been if he was on time.

My pregnancy was filled with exhaustion, lots of weight gain, exhaustion, preclampsia, low thyroid & iron levels and a baby that was on my bladder the entire time. ( I once got up 10 times in the night to pee) I also fell on a rusty dirty pitchfork & ended up with cellulitis in my leg. I ended up having an emergency c section, oh & I am 39 years old.

My DH had a bipolar breakdown two weeks after the babies birth & is struggling desperately still 6 months later.

But my son is the GREATEST thing that ever happened to me & I can't imagine my life without him. He will be the most important job I have & my greatest accomplishment. I will never be able to have another baby again due to physical & financial reasons but I wish I could.

Enjoy every minuet like it is your last. I told myself this when I was up at 3 am rocking & feeding him praying for sleep. Cherish these moments. I worried about the money & it all worked out just fine. My son goes to daycare & he loves it, my daycare woman is awesome & everything I worried about worked out better than I could have hoped for.

leave & then used 1 1/2 weeks of vacation. I work for a wonderful company that allowed me to work at home for an additional 6 weeks. The last week & a half the baby had to come into the office with me because my coworker had a hysterectomy & my daycare was set up to start 11/1. My boss told me he is welcome to come in anytime I need to. ( however they don't have to ride in the car with the baby that hates car rides )

I work from home one day a week anyways & do so as needed for various appts ect. Like I said my employer is amazing to me. I actually don't care much for what I do, but am treated so well that it makes my 1 1/2 hr round trip commute not a big deal.

Since we are small the people here knew how much I wanted children, my boss who is a man, was the one who walked me through getting my divorce even. When I lost the first baby they gave me a week off & put up with my tears & depression. Bottom line though they know I am all about out making money for them.

It all works itself out. I always tell one of the sales guys I work with who is a work a holic who's wife had cancer this year... at the very end no one is going to say when they reach those pearly gates, I wish I would have worked more.

Work isn't gonna love you at the end of the day, work isn't going to care for you when your old or pick out your nursing home. ( just don't tell my boss)