HAHAHA!
Since last week, BM wouldn't let my bf's son come over for our week visit, (due to her bitch ways and constant harassment to my BF, and when he finally bit back, she acts like a stupid VICTIM !!!)
SS had a camping trip coming up last weekend which was supposed to be our weekend and we had all planned on going, ME, BF, BF's Son, and my boy.
Well, they finally agreed (the day before) that my BF could spend one night there with him and that she would spend the next night there.
Since it was an all weekend event, i decided to come there during the next day to bring my son to see BF son, and to hang out till the BM got there. We ended up having such a good time that i decided i wanted to spend the night there so my son could experience camping out. So We brought our tent and BF told BM that we wanted to stay there because i had my son and he was enjoying himself with BF's son.
She had no control over the situation because it was out at a camping ground so she couldn't tell us to leave and she didnt want to come if i was there. So we completely cut her out of the camping trip and had a great time with my BF's son and my son. HAhaha!! I was so glad she got cut out of the Situation, because the whole week before she wouldn't let SS come and visit us.
She called like five times on Saturday just to Argue with him. (prob bcause she was mad that she couldn't do anything about it. So when i saw him on the phone arguing i grabbed the phn and hung up on her ass! lol
I might seem like a Bitch for this, but it was an awesome feeling.
- Rose's blog
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BITCH is...
Being In Total Control of Herself.......didn'tcha know?:)!!!! PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing comes easy thats worth fighting for.....thats what they tell me!
I like that one!:-)
Im gonna use the word BITCH more Often, except when i am referring to her!
It felt so good to give her a dose of her own medicine, and i didnt even have to say anything to her.
I know she felt like shit all weekend and that was good enuf for me.
ha way to go Rose
empowerment is great!!!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
I'm strugglin'
with this one. And please don't take this wrong....I think it's great that you stood up for yourself. I ALSO know the very unsatisfying, sinking feeling that comes later after this "empowerment".
Your DH and BM came to agreement. One got to stay each night. DH rescinded on the agreement. I think that's unfair. How would you have felt if she would've shown up on his night? Pretty pissed. You can't expect her to respect any boundaries now because DH didn't do the same. In a perfect world, BM wouldn't care if you all stayed and enjoyed yourselves.....but it's not a perfect world.
You have now given her a justification (fair or not) in her head for any near future misbehavior.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
i understand
what you mean CG but BM had a choice to be an adult and join everyone at the campsite.
she is the one who decided she did not want to come.
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
How many BMs...
..that are discussed on this site act like adults?
All I was saying is that when dealing with unruly BMs, empowerment can come at very high price.
I also don't like to force my presence on my skids BM, it just makes her act worse. I'm not saying she's right, I've just sacrificed this aspect of my life to make it more peaceful. BM deserves to be at every one of her child's function....and if my absence causes her to be more manageable, than that's the choice I've decided to make.
I'm not saying this approach works for everyone, it just works for me.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
true true
most BM are not "sane" and I totally agree that empowerment can be dangerous, but sometimes it feels good to "win" ya know what I mean.
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
still...
I see what CG says, but at the same time wasn't it supposed to be your weekend anyway and BM was stealing it?
I agree with CG.
I also think Dad made an agreement with BM to split the weekend. She didn't "steal" the weekend. If Dad didn't want her there, then he shouldn't have agreed to the arrangement in the first place. Yes, you have every right to go where you want to go and take your son anywhere you want to take him, but I think you have to be careful of crossing over into BM's time and territory. (And yes, it became her time when Dad agreed to share the weekend with her.) When you all decided to stay, he basically reneged on his agreement with BM. Yes, she was wrong to withhold visitation previously, but we all know two wrongs don't make a right. No matter what awful thing she's done in the past, she was blindsided. I doubt any of us would like that experience.
I have some heartburn over your hanging up on her when Dad was on the phone with her. I've been married to my husband for seven years and I wouldn't ever hang up the phone when he's in the middle of the conversation with BM or with anyone else. It may have felt satisfying to you, but it put him in the unpleasant spot of having to explain to his child's mother why HE hung up on her, because that's probably what she thought. Whatever "points" you feel you may have won by horning in on her half of the camping trip, you totally lost them when you hung up on her. Now he has two strikes against him - the trip and the phone call - and that's just more ammo for her to use to deny him time with his child.
I've always felt that clear boundaries are important, not just to keep BM away from us, but to keep us away from BM. It's hard to be the bigger person all the time, it really is. I can sympathize. My DH deals with frustration of his right to visitation with his children on a regular basis. But I know from years of living in this situation that the best way to deal with my skids' mother is to not deal with her at all. I get involved with the skids, but I do not EVER engage their mother. Once you get sucked into fighting with the BM, it's a never-ending cycle of retaliation. Who needs it?! That feeling of satisfaction only lasts until the next barrage.
♥ Georgia ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
Just to clarify
When i hung up the phn, it was for his own good. I could see how angry he was getting, this was about the kids, not her, like she always makes it out to be.
Somebody had to be the bigger person here and simply disconnect.
And after my BF suggested us staying there, she agreed. We didnt just say, " were staying and thats it"
I know the only reason she was mad was because she wishes it was them together and i was out of the picture.
Not too long ago she called him up saying he was the love of her life. If, so and let me just clarify. Why would you treat someone like a dog and Take there son away from them if they are the love of your life.
All im saying is im glad we got to spend those two days with his son bause she hasn't let us see him for 2 wks, so we agreed initially for the one night just so we could hang there with B-friend Son, and hope maybe we could get another night there if we tried.
Everything is done with good intentions on our part, She is just a miserable person, who wants everyone around her to be miserable too.
was reading too fast...
oops, I misread. I thought it was his weekend and BM wouldn't let him come to his own camping trip. I was confused. I agree with Georgia. Once plans are agreed on they should stay, or then BM will feel justified in breaking her plans with you. It's being the mature person, but sometimes being mature sucks.
I don't feel sorry for the BM
She set the tone and was just mad that she got some of her own back.
"Fortune favors the brave" - Virgil
Well
I did leave one part out.
The Bm did want to come on Saturday, but the night before her friends brother had made a pass at her at the campground, and she felt uncomfortable about being there with him anyways.
my BF suggested that we would stay with the kids so she wouldn't have to feel that way, basically he was just being nice.
I also see it as my son was having a really great time and i couldnt crush his feelings and tell him that we had to leave. It was supposed to be our weekend anyways and i had told my son the entire week before that we were going to to go camping. bcause up until tuesday we thought we were going.
I agree with sai Deschain, because BM could have came and i would have acted very kind to her.
Horning in
Good for you Rose !!!
Our BM is always trying to horn in on our time with SK's. We only have them EOW.
We don't check the email when the kids are here because she uses that in trying to get to us and spoil our weekends with the SK's