we did everything pro se. i think it ended up hurting us bc we really had to fight for what we wanted and the new parenting plan didnt give us anything we needed...like protection from BMs harrassment. she claimed abuse and they ordered a GAL. prior to that we had a mediator who was really great w us...i think she took our side bc she saw what BM was doing.

i think it will go to court regardless. she can contest just by showing up at the hearing. basically she will have to answer your motion, and can do so just by writing a letter no lawyer needed. then she will send it to your lawyer and he/she will file it w the court and set a hearing. she can go to the hearing on her own and represent herself too. obviously its better to have a lawyer but it can be done w/o one. the judge will talk to her just like he/she will talk to your lawyer.

good luck!

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Going into court without a lawyer is kind of like going into surgery and performing an operation on yourself. Some issues can be taken care of pro se relatively easily and satisfactorily. Sometimes you just don't have a choice, especially if getting the money for a retainer is a problem. Lay people can read up on the law and go into court educated and ready to go. Most of the forms are relatively simple to fill out and file. But your average person just cannot do as good of a job as a trained professional. Your average person is just not going to be equipped to deal with the intricacies, politics and subtleties of the courtroom. Even lawyers get lawyers when they need representation on a legal matter. That's probably what your lawyer means. It's your local high school football team going up against last year's Super Bowl winners.

________________________________________________________________

ANNE 8102 ♥ GEORGIA

they were not married when they had SS,so she had ALL rights,he hired a lawyer to have his rights and visitation established. She really didn't need one because she was the costodial parent. I was upset with hubby because he really didn't fight for anything,and just wanted the papers signed. he agreed to EVERYTHING she wanted to try and save money and time. I saw his point a little bit,SS is already ten,they just did this whole mess 3 months ago for the first time, they always had a verbal agreement up until we got married , then her horns popped out,anyways he just figured SS in a few years will start to make up his own mind and didn't know if it was worth thousands when the teenage years are just around the corner.she had NO intentions of getting a lawyer, ours told us she (BM) would get ONE chance to "basically "prolong and fight his request ,at that point if she wanted to fight what he wanted, she would have to hire a lawyer,or sign the papers, or let the judge and majistrate make the decisions for her. Our attourney also told us that if we would of fought her we might of not ended up with much more then what he was agreeing to. She was ready to drag it out as long as she could and drain our account doing it. I think my hubby is starting to regreat not going all the way with this but he is right,soon enough SS will start to figure things out and make his own decisions.

better for you if she doesn't get one, due to what Anne said. However, it CAN go the other way. Meaning, when DH would take nutjob to court, she would never get an attorney, and the judge ended up feeling sorry for her b/c this poor nutcase couldn't afford one, so things were not exactly equal. I wish you luck!

There are several things that work in your favor. If she doesn't file certain paperwork, then you should be able to take a default against her. Meaning that whatever you ask for..you get. Most opposing parties that don't get an attorney bury their heads in the sand and act like nothing is going on. If that's the case, once again...you get what you ask for, no fighting. It just depends on where the children live and what you are asking for. In Texas, if you ask that a court sever parental rights, the court will appoint an attorney to represent that parent. In some cases, if you are asking for simple modification of visitation and the other parent is "absent" from the preceedings, then you get a default. However, if the Judge is feeling froggy that day...he can tell you to reset it to give the other parent time to retain an attorney...ya never know. I got custody of my SD7 for my husband...and recently modified visitation. The Judge in my case hesitated to grant the default b/c BM didn't show up to the hearing and my hubby was asking for supervised visits. But, in the end the Judge granted the request. We had to wait ALL day to see if she was going to show up or if she was running late. GOOD LUCK...don't let 'em see you sweat.

In our case she asked for a continuance to get one- pushed back a month then appeared to represent herself at the next court date- we have gone a few times without att. rep, but not on anything big.

There is no reason where logic does not exist

In our situation, BM almost never has a lawyer. Things never go her way in court, even when she does.

When she doesn't have a lawyer, she still has all the correct documentation and has gone through the proper procedure. BM is very obsessive and would take days off of work beforehand to prepare for court. However, she takes every opportunity to open her mouth while in court to badmouth BF and myself when she doesn't have a lawyer, which makes her look really bad. When a lawyer is present, they do all the talking.

That's really the only difference that I've noticed from BM having a lawyer or not.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*