One year ago today...
I googled "My husband's ex-wife is unbearable..."
I'm not sure what I was even hoping for. I was broken and lost. My husband's ex-wife was causing so much havoc in my life that I was ready to walk away.
I stumbled upon this site because someone else had felt the EXACT same way as me.
I found a sanctuary. A little cyber cave away from the rest of the world where everyone understood and was willing to lend me an ear when the rest of my friends and family just didn't want to talk about it anymore. A place where I could learn from those who had traveled the same path as me.
I began a journey that day I decided to google those words. I am a better person because of those I've met on this site. Those who taught me to rise above myself and embrace the fact that I will never be in complete control of the relationship between my husband and his exwife and their children. My disengagement and my willingness to let my husband deal with his own problems has been my family's saving grace and the ripple effect has been more than I had ever hoped for.
Today, I am in a completely different place.
I let go of my anger and in it's place is an unwavering determination. Sure, BM can get me fired up with her ongoing antics, but I can also accept the fact that it's just the way she is and no matter how much I wish it to be different...it just never will be. I can't make BM be a good person. I forgive her for that because had it been any different, I wouldn't wake up every day to the greatest man I've ever known.
I love DH and the good in him outweighs any baggage he's brought along. I love my skids and am very proud that they FINALLY started referring to me as 'my stepmom' instead of 'my dad's wife'. It's one label I wear proudly.
And to all my friends who loved me enough to tell me when I was being irrational and lifted my spirits when I didn't think ANYTHING would make me feel better...from the depths of all that I am...I thank you.
- Colorado Girl's blog
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Comments
aww CG
i wasnt around here then but i know u somewhat now and i just want to say that ur attitude and outlook on it all is inspiring. and im thrilled we've crossed paths here. i really strive to get to that place too and u make me feel like there really is hope. so thank U! hugs chica!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
thanks to you
Colorado G I enjoy your posts and all the wonderful advice and insight that you give.
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
happy anniversary my friend!
I've enjoyed your posts and growth along the way. You are an amazing person
You are my inspiration
I have to say, it did not occur to me to try to 'befriend' my BM until you did it, with such great results. Now I haven't tried it myself yet, but am warming to the idea (actually she lives far away, but me just getting back to CONSIDERING fostering a 'cooperative' attitude is an improvement after the last year).
You are a wise woman and we are lucky to have you!! Thanks for being you CG!!!!!!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Ohhhh...
you are so sweet.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
So glad you are here
CG, i think you are an incredible person and I am proud to say I know you! (or at least in cyberville anyway
)
Happy Anniversary CG - I am
Happy Anniversary CG - I am so glad to have you as a friend!!
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
Happy anniversary!
}:) Being my husbands third wife does not make me third rate. It just means he is a slow learner }:)
Happy anniversary!
Mines in Oct I think. We will get to celebrate at SW's cabin!!!!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Happy Anniversary!!
Glad to have you here!
Dawn
Thank you all...
You are ALL inspirations to me!!!!
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
You are an inspiration
I find it hard to believe that I too have been on this site for over a year. Going on that retreat was very cool because it sort of made "real" for me these friends I have made on this site. I count you CG as one of my best. Your advise, support and kindness has always made me feel better when I was really down. Your heart pours out all over these pages and I appreciate you, admire you and can't wait for the day to actually meet you.
Kathleen
Kathleen...
Thank you so much for that...
I, too, can't wait to sip wine and laugh with you!!!!
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Having a Tearful Moment Here........
CG, hope your on the mend. I think the pain killers are getting to ya. LOL Just kidding. I went back to my original posts and was reading them and seeing who was responding to me and those who helped me out in the beginning. I have to admit, that one of your posts ticked me (kind-of) even though I knew you were telling me the truth and telling me what I needed to hear (not what I wanted to hear). That takes a solid committed friend and to that end....I love you!!!!!! See ya in Roctober, have you got you flight ticket yet?
PS: Had a break-thru last night, read my post !!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Stepwitchy....
Ahhh, I ticked you off?!?! I do that to a lot of people.
I have not bought my ticket yet. I am having a little bit of a power struggle with the airline and their unwillingness to refund my ticket based on my medical "condition"...
They are saying that they did not receive my doctor's letter. I'm actually sitting on hold as I type this...
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Maybe Kathleen can give you some tips....
Hope your still not on hold. I'm so excited I was going to mail you your gift, but I decided to hold on to it until October. Loads of Luv.
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!