A divorce story with a good ending!
Everybody knows about Bruce Willis' & Demi Moore's divorce. I admire how they were able to split amicably and put their kids first. Their kids truly seem to be decent people. Their eldest daughter had this to say about her dad and stepdad's friendship:
http://www.usmagazine.com/news-rumer-willis-its-not-weird-ashton-kutcher...
It's so nice to hear about a bioparent and stepparent getting along!
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Demi had a really amazing interview about this last year
I think it was with Maria Shriver, but I'll have to look that up. In the interview Demi also talked about the healing she did with her mom, when she went to take care of her as her mom was dying. They had an estranged relationship for several years.
I think they are an incredible family. My ex, his wife, DH and I are like this (without the famous part.) It can happen, but is far too rare.
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert
We have a similar situation
with my BS13's father. We were never married, but we always remained good friends for the sake of our son, (for those of you that don't know me, my DH adopted my BS13 when he was 7) My DH and BS father get along, in fact, he took DH out for a bachelor party when we got married. He was even the DJ for our wedding. Crazy huh? But BS's father always tells DH what a good daddy he is and has been and how much he respects him. Now on the flip side, DH's ex, never married, is satan reincarnate!!! I wish it could be the same way, where we could all get along, but I think it just depends on all parties involved and if they are truly willing to put the children first. Some people just can't do that, the only interest in putting the kids anywhere is in the middle, as pawns in their evil games. So sad for the kids.
Making the decision to have a child is momentous~ It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside of your body~
Real World
Lets face it, if we had that kind of money, life would be alot easier...BM stresses you out..get a massage,,,take a trip ..go to dinner...
If I didnt have to worry that half DH check went to CS, hell I'd be happy too.
Uniform problme..I could buy a hundreds.
Im not saying that everything is about money, but lets face it , these people dont live in the real world.
YEAH BUT
Yeah but I wouldn't care, really lets take a good look about how many of these posting and problems revolve around financiial issues, CS, Stepmom income supporting Stepkids
Whos paying for what? and who is being taking advantage of?
How many Stepmoms feel trapped financially.
Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, may have worked hard to keep it family oriented and friendly, but a lovely Ski Vacation ins Aspen helps alot too.
My parents had this kind of divorce
They spent holidays together, vacationed together, had dinner together once a week (as a family I mean, not as a couple). Even after they remarried, most weekly dinners continued with all 4 of my parents there. My divorce from my ex has been a little more difficult, but we get along fine now. When I think about him (which isn't much) I think he's a selfish, immature person, but for the most part we are all friendly. I help him with his taxes, I counseled he and his wife when they were having problems, I still visit with his parents periodically, etc.
BM on the other hand, I have no idea what to do with that. Sometimes she's sweet as pie and other times, well... not so much. I just try to avoid her whenever possible (which means not getting to see DH's band anymore :() and be as pleasant as possible when I do see her. I'm trying not to hold resentment, becasue I know she has issues, but I do resent the fact that just because DH accepted her for who she is when they married, that apparently now I have to as well.
Why couldn't I have married Ashton? Why, dammit, WHY?!?!
DO you think
DO you think the reason this works sometimes is because of the ex-wife? It seems to me that so often, the ex-wife is the crazy in the dynamic. If, instead of a nutcase EW, you had a well-adjusted woman who understood that her first marriage was OVER, I wonder if everything would work out like this more often?
- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)
I think so too
I think it mostly ahs to do with the BM. SMs do cross there boundries sometimes but it is rare.
I think the issue is usually the money.
Once the stresses of who lives the better life style are removed, what else is left to fixate on?
In many divorce or unwed parent situations one parent ends up with a significantly more affluent life style than the other. In the case of our blended family this has been the core of the issue since day one of the relationship between my wife and I. BioDad has procreated his way to a level of poverty that he cannot get out of without making some major life style and education changes. So, we hear constantly how unfare it is that my SS lives a life style that his Dad and half sibs cannot have. Since THEY (BioDad and his Wackjob Mother BioPaternalGrandMa) do not have the resources to exert their will over the situation they whine about how unfare it is and make everything high drama.
If both sides were as wealthy as the Willis/Moore/Kutcher blended family there would be no need for drama.
Just my thoughts of course.
Best regards,
hmmm...
I think it's great if everyone gets along, but I think being buddies is a little on the crazy side. If the divorced couple gets along so well, why did they get divorced in the first place?!
I understand getting along for the sake of the kids & I wish everyone had that. But I do think that sometimes boundaries need to be set or else the kids grow up disillusioned. BM's divorced parents lived next door to each other & did everything like they were still a family. (Although it sounds like there were many deep seeded issues going on with them & I'm pretty sure that once they each found other people, this ended.) But BM only chooses to remember them living in harmony forever & ever. So she assumed that she & my husband could have the same relationship. Wrong! My husband is the one that wanted the divorce & he wanted as little to do with BM as possible. But this didn't stop her from trying her best to weasel herself in everywhere. For a while they hung out with the same crowd. This gave former SD the hope that they would reconcile & that everyone would live together -- including BM's revolving door of boyfriends. Then when I came into my husband's life, I shattered this dream. (Because I was stable & not going anywhere.)
It's so tricky. Some people can probably pull off this type of thing & good for them! I would like nothing more than to at least get along with BM. And at first we did -- until she became completely irrational (about the time my husband & I got married). Oh well.