Am I too much of a hard ass??
This weekend we were doing spring cleaning and we had my dd birthday and graduation party. So anyway everyone was cleaning and doing something, I told ss11 and ss14 to clean off the porch and pick up all the trash and things in the yard and put them all away.
Well they only picked up the trash and went back to video games. I got upset and told them that I should NOT have to hold their hands like babies and tell them each item to pick up, I should just say clean the porch and the whole thing should be done. Just like if I say clean the kitchen and the whole thing should be done. I should have to say do the dishes, sweep the floor, clean the counters and wash them, or wash the stove. I should just say clean the kitchen! RIGHT???? Or am I wrong?
I have always expected a lot from my kids and to use their brains and figure things out for themselves. I don't do it b/c I don't want 'teach' b/c I do show them the way I want it but after that they should use their brains! Rights? The best way to learn is do it yourself by yourself right???
I get so frustrated b/c I feel like I have to treat the boys like babies b/c if you don't say all the 'steps' you want them to do they only do 'steps' they want to which is just picking up trash! UGH
So am I too much of hard ass and expect too much???
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No you are not expecting to
No you are not expecting to much they are both old enough to know the proper way to do a chore, and chores are good for them.
If your expecting too much
If your expecting too much then so do I!
SS15 & SD12 have no clue about running a household DS7 can do laundry, fix his own food (in the microwave), give himeself a shower/bath, brush his own teeth the right way, etc. Explain to me that I am too hard? How?
Your not too hard, you are just trying to train these kids/skids to function in the real world and be self effecient.
Let's remember, God forbid, something happen to us moms and it is up to DH to run things!!!! LOL!
That was what I was thinking!
That was what I was thinking! I do NOT do anything for my kids they have to do it themselves! Unless they are sick or something like that. But I do know that bm won't even let the boys get a drink of water by themselves! That explains it all! :sick:
No, you're not. I'm going
No, you're not. I'm going through the same thing myself. I'd tell the 13yo's to clean the kitchen after dinner-they'd throw the dishes in the dishwasher. No rinsing, no washing down the sink or wiping down the counters or sweeping the floor or wiping the table... just throw dishes into dishwasher. Oh, and they somehow thought they could leave the pots and pans on the stove.
It just takes consistency. They are almost there. Now, after a few months riding them (and DH and I being on the same page with it), they know what is expected. They will still get lazy sometimes, but instead of taking the easy way out and doing it myself, I bring them back and make them finish.
You've got to make them handle their responsibilities. Otherwise, you will be raising spoiled, lazy, "me, me me" kids.
My kids know that if I say to
My kids know that if I say to clean something they better do it all or I will make them redo it! They even got to the point that they have me go in and make sure it is done before they do anything else. lol
Maybe that is why my dd has a full ride to college!
I don't have the kids
I don't have the kids cleaning every min of the day. normally it is sun before they go home everyone pitches in and gets it clean like it was before they came.
Yes that is why I get
Yes that is why I get frustrated because they require step by step and they are 15, 14, and 11 they should NOT need step by step like a baby! It is bm's fault b/c that is the way she treats them. As I said she won't even let them get a drink of water for themselves.
Well I'm the same way and SD
Well I'm the same way and SD doesn't always like it but that's the way it is in our house. I ask her to make her bed, if she simply throws her comforter on the bed, I take the whole bed apart and she starts over. I really dont ask much of her but what I do ask I want her to take pride in what she does...
So I guess I'm a hard ass as well...oh well such is life... cheers ..
Z
Uh, If they were told to do
Uh, If they were told to do something and only half assed it, then go in and unplug the video game and when they complain, say "Sorry, chores were NOT done, so, until you get them done, no video games" and take the console make them EARN it back.
NO....you are not too much of
NO....you are not too much of a hardass! If anything, you are helping to teach the kids this thing called responsibility!! Some think I was with my kids, and oh, let me tell you--my SS13 thought I crawled out of the pits of Hell! lol Thanks to my 'suggestions', when SS13 refused to clean his area like he was told a number of times, DH went in and took his laptop, game controller, and remote for the TV until he was finished. THEN, he had to listen to the "when I was your age" speech!
LOL at the "when I was your
LOL at the "when I was your age" speech!!!! They hate those but they are oh so very true!!!!