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Am I wrong for feeling jealous?

LloydUK's picture

Submitted by LloydUK on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 3:47am

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General Discussion

I have 3 sd, the middle sd14 is the most difficult, and I would say that I put most time and energy into trying to make this particular sd14 happy.
my youngest sd11 made a lovely fathers day card, and they all signed. Middle one signed ''thanks'' and then her name. I didn't really have a problem, thats just her personality. She is mostly distant and suddenly is extra nice to me when she wants something and I even over look that.
But yesterday when sd14 bought a card for her french teacher of one year who is leaving the school, she filled both sides of the card with writing about how much she will miss her french teacher ect.... I felt Overwhelmingly jealous and actually made me a little depressed... I dont expect love or appreciation, but it would be nice sometimes.. Sad

TASHA1983's picture

Submitted by TASHA1983 on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 8:38am

You are not wrong for wanting appreciation from skids. Unfortunately, this is all part of the territory 99% of the time Sad I'm sorry that you are not being appreciated and treated the way you DESERVE to be treated....

stepmisery's picture

Submitted by stepmisery on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 8:44am

It's normal to want to be appreciated. Your feelings are normal. Maybe you need to emotionally pull back from the child some, at least for awhile.

Smomof3's picture

Submitted by Smomof3 on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 10:15am

It sucks to be unappreciated and unfortunately children don't realize what they show with their actions.

janeyc's picture

Submitted by janeyc on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 10:52am

I think the answer here is that you are trying to hard, I used to as well, when I took a step back, Sd6 came to me, when we seek to please someone it makes us weaker, at least thats how a child see's it, so why not try taking a step back? The feeling of jealousy in this situation is perfectly normal, you see yourself making so much effort with your Sd and here she is adoring one of her teachers, I bet this teacher did'nt go out of her way to please your Sd? I know how hard it is, the fact that you are jealous tells me that you care deeply about your Sd, that can never be wrong.

smartone's picture

Submitted by smartone on Thu, 07/05/2012 - 11:04am

Yesterday a bm got slammed for expecting her son to get treated well by his sf of 11 years. "He's NOT his child, NOT his problem..." "You can't expect him to love YOUR child..." we repeat these over and over on ST. We give each other a pass when we are unable to love or even like our skids. Why should the skids be treated any differently? Why are they expected to love OR like the sparent in their lives? This is a double standard.

Not to mention, you are comparing apples to oranges. The teacher is leaving...you are not. Of course a person will want to show appreciation to someone they won't be able to see anymore; this may be the last thing she is able to share with the teacher. As well, some kids don't get anything for their dad, even in intact families. And most kids don't show their own bio parents they appreciate them!