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Am I wrong, please tell me.........

AwesomeStepMom's picture

It's BMs legal weekend to have the kids(this weekend)....
Her grandma is sick and "might" not make it through the weekend. But guess what....BM is NOT the only family member that there is and she has a BF that she lives with and she has a few best friends and she has NOT explored other options as far as what she will do with the kids or what she could do with the kids this weekend she just wants my fiance to come in and take care of it all. Now he has to work this weekend and I have strep throat but I would be the one to have to watch them, was I wrong to voice my opinion and tell him how I felt that I would be the babysitter? Shouldn't she maybe figure out another route to take, another back up plan so to speak since it is her legal weekend and it's her time to be mommy? Isn't that what a normal married couple would do, make some back up plans? Why is this situation so different....they're NOT married anymore and they both have separate lives with new partners! So why can't she figure this one out on her own?

Am I wrong, am I being a B**** because I feel that she should be the one to make the plans in case of an emergency on her LEGAL weekend, plans that don't rely on my fiance to make? Or do I give in and put my illness on the back burner to help her out and my fiance too!?!?

use_2_b_sane's picture

Well...I've been in your shoes and at the time I really wanted to tell her to shove it and figure it out on her own but I didn't. I would help only for the kids. It's Probably best if the kids are not around all the drama with granny dying and all. Plus your fiancé will be appreciative and you will be a better person in the end. I would let her know that you are sick and the kids might catch it if they come. I’m sure that there will be plenty of times that she will try and flake out and you can tell her to shove it then. Good luck!

Totalybogus's picture

You can't make someone be a parent. The legal you speak of is not something that is enforceable for an NCP. The CP usually winds up holding the bag. That's why the court gave that parent CP status.

I don't believe the BM was wrong looking to the children's father to assist in their care especially when there is a loss of a loved one. She probably isn't even thinking of it at all. I'm sure her focus is on the death of her grandmother. I don't think the BM is to blame here.

In another breath, I don't think the care of the children should fall on your shoulders. Dad agreed to take the children, therefore dad needs to take the time off and take care of his own children. You should not have to take care of his responsibilities by default. Then I have to look to you and ask, why are you letting him dump them on you when you are not well yourself?

This is all on your fiance'

AwesomeStepMom's picture

Well hell they don't have to be around the drama because the stupid BM told the oldest( 8 ) tonight when she called them that the granny is dying. So then we had to console him and comfort him.....SHE IS SO FRICKIN STUPID! I need to find a good field somewhere so that I can go out into the middle of it and scream because I HATE HER. My fiance ended up telling her that we can keep them here with us Friday night but he has to drop them off on his way to work because I'm not feeling good but then he'll pick them up when he gets out and she got pissed! She told him, she actually had the nerve to tell him...."i thought(insert my name here)could take care of the boys"......WTF, am I the live in babysitter?!?!?!?!?!?!? The HoeBag treats me like crap then expects me to help her out, God made me sick this week/weekend for a reason so I say "thank you lord." I mean what's wrong with thinking outside the box and asking someone close to her to help her if needed? THEN the kicker is...she originally wanted to keep them here all weekend because granny "might" not make it and now all of a sudden, wait....she can keep them over night on Saturday.....what's the difference between 2 nights and 1 night?

Am I missing something? :puzzled:

Angel72's picture

Its to her conveniency...you know what? I'ld tell my fiancee, i know you are working and its bm's legal weekend. You guys have to make arrangements cause i'm sick and wont be available for your kids. Sorry. Then let the shoe drop and let them handle it as parents.

AwesomeStepMom's picture

Thanks everyone for your advice, it has helped me cool down a ton, I was HEATED!! However, I am still sitting here with my jaw on the floor because I just don't get it.... :jawdrop:

First, you're gonna be late for Friday pick-up...fine, then you don't want them at all for the weekend because granny "might" not make it and so BM just assumes that I will watch them for her but because I can't, now all of a sudden you can take them for 1 over night but lay out guidelines for pick-up.....WHAT THE FRICK?!?!