Anyone resent skids for being like their BM?
I have a SS9 who is well-behaved most of the time (though a little entitled) but his BM is a total nightmare. She not only seems to have a really shaky sense of morals, but is always judging everyone, badmouthing us, calling us bad parents, and trying to turn all the parents at SS's school against us. Basically, she never left high school.
No one gets to choose who their parents are. But, i can't help but cringe when SS9 comes home from her house and acts just like her sometimes. "Why do you have a tatoo??? You should really get it removed," he says the other day. On top of that, his BM is from a different culture and religion that me, and he'll say things to me like "you know, christmas is not a good holiday. why do you do it?"
Normally, I would just chalk it up to a kid being a kid, and I've never had trouble being tolerant of other people's cultures and beliefs, but it bothers me so much more because the origin of SS's behavior is my husband's ex (who says these kinds of things to him.) I'm getting to the point where I'm having a really tough time supporting him and even liking him as a person, just like DH and I are having trouble not hating his BM. DH seems to be able to separate his hate for his ex from his feelings for his bio child, but I just can't.
Anyone else relate?
You should answer him "Why
You should answer him "Why are you always criticizing other people and being negative about the things they do? You should really stop doing that, it's really annoying."
I'd respond with sharp
I'd respond with sharp sarcasm. "Really? Who died and made you rule maker of the universe?" "Last I checked, you're not the boss of me so I don't have to answer that." "Glad you asked...I do that just to piss you off." Basically, telling the kid to GFY without actually saying GFY. Hopefully he'll get the message to shut his trap.
Hell yah! My SD13 acts just
Hell yah! My SD13 acts just like BM. Manipulative, lies, throws tantrums, narcissistic and will be a future skank.
Sadly yes both step kids not
Sadly yes both step kids not only look like a spitting image of their BM but act like her too. I personally try my hardest to look for their dad in them, its got to be in there somewhere.
Same here for me, only with
Same here for me, only with the genders reversed. SD17 looks EXACTLY like her bio-daddy - same Sasquatch feet, same hair, same skin tone, same disproportionately long arms, and most of all, same know-it-all beligerent personality.
I keep hearing the
I keep hearing the know-it-all thing about step-kids. Are divorce kids more spoiled and fussed over? Or maybe they feel like they have to grow up quicker and thus try their hardest to act like adults?
Whatever it is, it's annoying.
I'd just say something like,
I'd just say something like, "well, I stay up til about 2 a.m. every night thinking of ways to annoy you."
I'm confused....WHAT KID
I'm confused....WHAT KID DOESN'T LIKE XMAS? Maybe you guys should NOT get him anything when Xmas comes around and then...he will be like WHAT? And you can say welp...you told us Xmas is not a good holiday...so we aren't celebrating with you? That would teach him to shut his trap. I personally like the...
"well, I stay up til about 2 a.m. every night thinking of ways to annoy you." Good job Lilybelle!
Yes, Sd9 is a perfect hybrid
Yes, Sd9 is a perfect hybrid of bm and mil. Biomom abandoned her at 3 months old and mil raised her until she was 4.5 yrs. Her personailyy is bm to a T, which is quite amazing concidering she has seen bm like 10 times total since she was a newborn. Those genes are quite strong. And her behavior and manerisms are mil.
She is the exact opposite of everything I would want in a daughter.
Yes! Skids are like
Yes! Skids are like spies--they pass between the two houses armed with juicy information that they know each family wants to know about the other. SS9 has developed the skill of spinning this information for the most possible dramatic effects! I've learned not to take the bait--i just turn away and roll my eyes. I hope he will grow out of it despite the fact that BM never did.
what drives me nuts is that
what drives me nuts is that the kids look like BM! Each one has this hint of her in their face and expression and it makes me cringe.
You can't take the mom out of
You can't take the mom out of the kid!!!! Damn, because I sure would! Ss16 is extremely lazy and has no drive for anything! Drives me crazy! DH is no where near lazy, neither am I. Ss16 lives with us and sees BM only when she feels like seeing him. So there is no break from the behaviors(or lack of)! He is so much like BM that I resent him just as I do the BM. I feel like no matter what I teach him, it is in one ear and out the other. Things that should be automatic now (he has lived with us since he was nine) are still having to be continually hounded to do it! Now the whole teenage thing is hitting and I am having to deal with the "entitlement" issue. Sometimes I just wish he would say he wanted to go live with his BM! Don't know about any of you but the resentment, anger and bitterness eats me up! Wish I could let go and let be!