Badmouthing BM to skids???
DH is getting more bold with the kids. He is telling them when he disagrees with their mom or when he is doing something and he thinks BM will go nuts and berate him to them.
For example: BM has put them is softball, however the practice is during church. So DH decided that church trumps softball. BM COMPLETELY disagrees and said..."you are not hurting me you are hurting the kids." He's not trying to hurt anybody...it's just his priorities. So, he told the kids why he feels church is a higher priority than softball. He also told them that he and BM disagree, and he doesn't know what she says, but he wanted to let them know his reasons in case she started complaining about it.
Again: BM did something crappy and baited the kids with "going to a movie" so they didn't want to go with dad. It wasn't against the CO just a crappy thing to do because she can. So DH talked to the kids when he got them and told them what their mom did was crappy and that they see her all the time. BM didn't end up taking them to the movie after all and they missed out on time that they could have been with him. He also told them they should want to spend time with him when they can.
Again: We had skids over spring break. BM asked to have the skids about 3 different times. If you've kept up with me at all you know BM only gives into our requests about once a year. She is VERY difficult to work with. DH said "no" to all of it this time. One of the times she wanted to take the girls to the new "Hunger Games" movie. She was talking on speaker with SD10 and said, "cousin boy and girl and I are going to see "Hunger Games" but your dad won't let you come with us!" Of course they got all pissy with DH.
Well, driving home DH said that what BM did was not nice. It would be like dh getting an ice cream and eating it in front of them and letting them know their mom wouldn't let them have any. He also told them that we ask if they can do fun stuff with us and their mom always says no...he doesn't go complaining to them and telling them what they missed out on because it isn't a kind thing to do.
Do you think this is crossing the line? I mean, I may not word it exactly the same way that he does, but BM badmouths and lies about DH to the skids all the time. When do you say "hey...that's not right and that's not true?" Skids are 10 & 8.
I've posted this in the blogs too.
oh...i should add we already
oh...i should add we already had plans to take skids to see "hunger games" and they knew this.
sometimes....when a mother
sometimes....when a mother and father break up....the squeeky wheel gets heard...in other words....he who yells and badmouths the most will be listened to as what went wrong......
My ex husband has tried over and over again to get the kids to believe his BS.....(he left us and moved over 1000miles away and then decided he didnt need to call the kids nor give them b.day xmas or easter gifts...not even a card???? For a while there my kids were believing his stories as to why he left me stranded with bills and mortgage.....now I believe his direct and indirect comments were wrong....
However, I wish I had of sat my kids down and told them the truth...."your father is pissing off bc its all got too hard for him, and that means he obviously doesnt want to try and has left me to do it all'
and I wish...the my now DH would not have been so nice in front of his kids....I wish He had of told them streaight what a witch and how dillussioned she is
Kids work it out in the end....but at what cost.....??
My DH kids are now being brought up by a real lesbian psychopath and they too have turned crazy - she actually teaches them how to be nasty to people.....
So badmouthing someone is not wrong....unless your badmouthing someone who really doesnt deserve it.....kids need to know exactly what is going on....
suggest you get someone else to do though....as it has more impact....
thanks everybody. i've just
thanks everybody. i've just been wondering what you all would think. i'm proud of him. she has done so many crappy things and much worse than what's listed.
daddy doesn't love you
daddy doesn't provide anything for you
daddy doesn't need us any more he has asheeha...
just all sorts of TERRIBLE things and he hasn't ever really combated it directly against BM. he just says...yes i do...now he's getting more direct with them.
I have a biological father in
I have a biological father in my life that bad mouths me to our children all the time. I now show them the emails or texts indicating the facts
Ex. He tells them that he missed event xyz because I never told him about it, what a (insert expletive here) to the kids, it's my fault, etc.
I show them the email that I sent to him 2 months prior to xyz event.
No bad mouthing required, just facts.
I have rarely ever said anything bad about their father and when I have my daughter gets very defensive. She has to realize he's a jerk all on her own. And I can assure you kids will figure it out eventually. Right now the Only reason she still goes w him is because she feels bad for him that he's alone and he puts a guilt trip on about everything. Poor kid has anxiety about answering her phone now because he has berated her so often. She cant even take a shower without being worried dad will call and she will get in trouble for not answering her phone. Now when she's with him, he gets in trouble if she answers her phone at all.
Double standard much...
You ex calls your kids?
You ex calls your kids? Wow...mine doesnt even do that...but tells them that I should be making the phone calls to him so that he can talk to them....??? WTF???
He actually told our kids that he didnt send presents for b/day or xmas bc he paid me CS and that was his money to buy presents...
and he bad mouths me....indirectly more than directly....you know....suggests im crazy weird or what eva....
I think there are some relationships that brake up because one of the parents goes crazy or goes crazier.....a personality disorder that wasnt picked up by the other parent when they were younger....
In order to keep the bond of marriage sacrate we should explain to the kids why it was wrong that your mother or your father did what they did...and how this caused the divorce....IMHO