I'm a stepmom of 2 girls ages 9 &11. I've been in their lives 5 years and recently got married. They visit every other weekend and every Tuesday evening. For the most part things have been great with all of us together. I actually would always look forward to it as we always had something fun planned or just us 4 together was where I always wanted to be -they are my family. The younger one has had some behavior issues for 4 years on and off. She will angry can't control her words or actions and very very disrespectful. This has happened many times in both homes and we use to all carry over punishments but last weekend she was the worst I've ever seen. All because she didn't want to go to bed. Out of all the times we have put her to bed this one time she wanted to stay up. She was so disrespectful to her dad I chimed in and made her go to her room. She doesn't listen to her dad and her dad statted to cry so it made me furious. She said such terrible things I immediately text everyone invited to her bday party and cancelled it. Now I know some of you will say she isn't your kid, let dh deal with it and I usually do but there was something about that entitled spoiled nastyle attitude that I couldn't sit back and watch. She listened to me and went straight to bed. The next morning my husband made a big delicious breakfast and she refused to eat. She sat in her room for hours when we tried to get her to come downstairs several times. She stares off and completely ignored us. Us 3 wanted to enjoy our day and do something and couldnt with her not responding to us so I suggested we take her home early and her mother could deal with it. So we called her and she said it was fine. The next few days she called her dad apologizin for her behavior. She asked to speak to me but honestly I have been very angry that she could be so disrespectful and since this has been going on for 4 years all I could think about was all the nice things and love we have given her and her constant disrespect. I just needed a break from "sorrys". My dh of course accepted which he is very soft and forgiving. Maybe if she was mine I wouldnt be mad. Anyway since my dh told me how hurt he was that I was angry with his daughter I thought I should call and make things better but when I called her about4 days later she refused to get on the phone with me or her dad. Her mom said she made an immediate apt with her pediatrician and ever since the pediatrician apt she does not want to visit or talk to us. Her mom is aware something isn't right since she is the only one who can sign off on counseling but I don't get it...I see her on facebook got her a new cell phone threw her a big bday party and having all this fun as if she didn't misbehave at our house. She said the pediatrician recommended for her 9 year old to "take a break" and not visit dad for a weekend. To me this sounds like they are encouraging her not to acknowledge she was wrong because maybe she knows she will be punished? We planned on just taking away electronics but nothing crazy harsh. Anyway this is the first time in 5 years that she is refusing to come over and her mom agrees with "the break". I just don't get it, shes the one who was terrible at our house....her mom says she starts with a new counselor in a week but I feel she's telling her daughter that this is dad's fault or something because why would she call and apologize and then the day after she sees her pediatrician who recommends a break is all mad again? My dhs heart is broken because now he won't see her for a month (since every other weekend) and it's her choice. She also saw the school counselor and school counselor is the one who referred her out to someone who can see her more often since she says she's too busy. I guess I just don't understand and since I'm trying to stay out of it and let the kids mom and my dh work it out I haven't asked their mom questions. Does any of this sound like parent alienation? Why would mom approve of a break and not punish at home?