Beware the Guilty Daddy!
FIL is a Guilty Daddy. Kind of ironic since he was very physically and emotionally abusive to my DH. FIL is a special kind of Guilty Daddy. It is only to his YOUNGER of his two sons.
Brief background on BIL - alcoholic, anger issues, gambling problem. Had a trailer, quit paying, got kicked out. Kicked out of FIL's apartment and MIL/SF's house. Got kicked out of the next place for fighting. Moved in with a real psycho BM whose kids were taken away from her. THEY got into a physical altercation and he got charged with domestic and ordered to stay away from her, ankle bracelet included. [She would have had him move back in. He was funding her life and lifestyle.]
BIL has no where to live - again. Guilty Daddy lets him move into his apartment - again. Guilty Daddy, even though guilty, does not like living with poor hygiene BIL in such a cramped space and encourages him to find another place to live. Queue the incident with BIL attacking my DH because he had the audacity to tell BIL "NO."
FF to a year later. BIL is still living with Guilty Daddy FIL. FIL was looking to move to a bigger, nicer place. New place found out BIL is on probation and denies his application. FIL wants to move anyway and tells BIL that he has to move on his own. Guilty Daddy will even help pay. BIL turns on the waterworks and manipulates Guilty Daddy into caving. They stay in small apartment completely funded by Guilty Daddy.
Guilty Daddy is 65 years old and BIL is almost 37.
Beware the Guilty Daddy. He does not change just because the kid becomes an "adult."
Free range idiot parents
Free range idiot parents unfortunately tend to raise free range POS kids. It is interesting that your DH is the son raised with some expectation of behavior and performance and is a viable adult while younger son/BIL is such a useless POS leech.
My condolences to your DH for the burden of FIL and BIL. And to you too.
Thanks, Rags. At least we are
Thanks, Rags. At least we are able to minimize their toxic influence now. I'm still working on my DH to get him MAD at the idiots they are rather than sad that his family is so effed up.