BF got a dog and now expects us to help with it
It's bad enough BF moved within a 1/2 mile from BM and myself. It was previously 30 min. Away and the SD and SS sleep there Thursday, Friday and come home Saturday. It was a nice scheduled " vacation" if you will for Us. It was our get freaky sex nights since no one was home lol. But now so close they are always popping in. Or I need this or can you bring me that, or the brat SS comes in just to say hi to mommy. Guess the cord gets tight. It grates my nerve. It is our time. BF should say no you are with me there is no need to bother your mom. And now he got a dog. And then oh I have to work a few doubles in a row. Mean you bring the kids by to let the dog out and blah blah blah. NOT OUR DOG. NOT OUR PROBLEM!!! Plus she goes over there to " help" daughter get the dog in the crate. To me she should not be going into his house. We've had this discussion before. I was out for a run ( which I now have to pass his house) and she was there picking up the kids and poof her car was empty. She was inside talking. Am I wrong in feeling it is unnecessary for her to be in his home and for him to we weasle his way into our free time?
No, the poster is a man whose
No, the poster is a man whose wife's ex just moved near them. I was confused at first, too, but he means BF moved near him and BM as in he and his wife (who is BM) live there and the biodad moved near them. This site can get confusing. lol
I'd feel exactly the same way
I'd feel exactly the same way as you.
You are NOT wrong.
When the kids are with their father they should be with their father. NOT dropping by your house every 5 minutes. Maybe YOU could start dropping by his house with the kids every 5 minutes on YOUR days and see how he likes it? And, I said YOU not your wife...because it sounds like he's trying to get cozy with her.
OP, you should update your
OP, you should update your bio so people know you're a dude. We don't get a lot of men on here.
Yes, you are right that BF should not expect your GF to come over to help take care of his dog, but the person you should be having a conversation about this with is YOUR GF.
If the kids are over more
If the kids are over more often than what is written in the CO, I would tell your wife to consider filing for a modification in CS. My DW is actually seriously considering that for similar reasons.
On the subject of dogs; SS had a pet hamster at his Dad's. They moved to a condo that didn't have room for the cage, so we ended up taking it. Same with the aquarium. Father also bought a dog and realized he was alergic to it. We ended up taking that too.
After rescuing the dog, the hamster and some pet fish, I told my wife "I am drawing a line at your ex's wife. If he has to throw her out, she needs to find another place to stay!"
No, you're not out of line. I
No, you're not out of line. I would probably be livid if I was out for that run and saw that my DH was hanging out at BM's. In fact, I would have stopped to see where my wife was if I were you. I guess it depends on how old the children are. Does she need to help them come and go? I'm guessing not, if they are old enough to go take care of a dog. I hope you discussed this with her.
Next time the skids are supposed to be with BF, take your wife on a mini-vacation. Lock the doors to your house and disappear. I'd also do the same on one of those nights BF expects his dog to be taken care of. Make the whole family unavailable to do it. This is also where disengagement comes in handy, then this would not have any impact on your life whatsoever (the dog part, I mean).
I think you have just cause
I think you have just cause to ask her to stay out of his house and she should agree. Everything else I think is a pass - seeing her kids is something you don't want to interfere with and as long as they do the work caring for the dog you should stay out of it. The least you stay out of the family dynamics the longer you'll have access to her bedroom.
I truly do not care if the
I truly do not care if the kids move there with the dog every night. It shouldn't be our responsibility to chauffeur them around to do so. And I apologize for the confusion. All the Abbreviations get confusing. I am male. And with the step kids mother and their biological father moved close and etc.
I was in a rush typing during
I was in a rush typing during work which probably did not help the confusion.