BioBitch Doesn't Want SS
It's come as both a shock and it's no surprise: Biobitch doesn't want SS12!
DH spoke to his ex wife yesterday (you can see his priorities as it was the day after the football match between Brazil and The Netherlands...) Anyway, the long and short is that Biobitch doesn't care and doesn't want full time custody of SS12. She has indicated that DH can ask SS12 if he wants to move, but BioBitch KNOWS that SS will NOT move and will want to stay with her. How fucked up is this?!
Recap: I told DH that I am moving back home and he can come along if he wants. If he doesn't, he is free to raise his son on his own because I am outtahere... He asked for time to consider his options including taking SS along. He had a meeting with Biobitch and she made it clear she has two other children to raise and SS can go with Daddy because she has other priorities. DH still has to raise this with SS12 - and Biobitch has said he can talk to SS first because she knows her son: SS won't leave her and won't be moving.
How can this fucking nut openly say she doesn't want the kid, yet at the same time say he won't go with DH? Is she going to raise her own son that she doesn't want? I actually feel for this kid!!
(He went home last night after being exceptionally well behaved. I tell you since I disengaged completely this kid is just weird!! Well behaved and decent. It just weirdos me out!)
BM has two other kids with two other men, she has 4 divorces behind her and a string of stepkids or ex stepkids. I guess looking for husband #5 and annoying the other two SMs to her two kids is more important than SS12- her own son. What a piece of work!
My dh gave bio mom the choice
My dh gave bio mom the choice with thier kid- sd was11 at the time. She said take her. She only wants to. See her 2 x a month with zero extra days. Barely calls her. Give no support.
She sucks!!!!!! And she makes trouble whenever she can.
Some people should never of had kids. Yup.
This bitch should never have
This bitch should never have had kids. There are two other women who have huge issues with her biokids because she turns out vicious brats. She uses the kids to meddle in the relationships of her ex husbands. I know one other SM of her kid well - she and her DH (biobitch's ex number 3) are just about on the point of divorce because of Biobitch and biobitchlet.
It's just a nightmare as to what these BMs can get up to!
I can understand your
I can understand your confusion.
I want to leave because when we got married, SS was one/two. At that time DH wanted to be a part of raising SS and not leave a baby. We had agreed to wait ten years, let DH form a relationship with SS and then move. There was no discussion at the time of custody issues as Biobitch still would embark on a path of multiple marriages and kids/stepkids.
I have recently insisted that I wanted to move because the time has passed and SS12 is a complete monster. He is so up his mother's arse, it has made my relationship with him impossible. Where he has a decent relationship with his Dad, I have an openly hostile kid when his Dad is not around. He is rude, swears, lies, breaks things, doesn't listen and classically keeps telling me he hates me and I am not his Mother. FFS I know I am not his mother and thank my stars I am not.
DH is exploring his options which is his business. He asked if I was open to SS moving with us and I said yes, I am not opposed to it. This is because being away from his mother's influence might actually help this kid to be a decent human being- there is time to change and form his character, DH keeps regular contact with his kid and there is uncertainty whether this kid will move. Hell, I don't even know if DH will move.
What boggles my mind is Biobitch! Her little princess boy that she coddles and has turned against me for no reason other than I married her ex actually doesn't want the kid. She doesn't want him!! She says this knowing that the kid will most likely want to stay with her! So to me its a sick game on her part. Let's DH ask SS about moving. If SS wants to stay with Biobitch, DH know that his mother couldn't care about him and really doesn't want him. What kind of sick game is that? Is she trying to guilt DH into staying?
That's the sick part! She
That's the sick part! She doesn't actually want the kid full time, because he gets in the way of her whoring around, but he isn't allowed to form a relationship with me because Biobitch is his irreplaceable mmmmuummmy.
I don't think she knows what damage she causes, and frankly she doesn't care. Children to her is just a way to hold onto the men she divorced.
He is not the first kid to
He is not the first kid to move to totally new environment. And he doesn't have to move if he doesn't want to.
I really don't care either way what SS12 wants to do.
The reality is he can stay with Mmmuuuummmy or move (with all that moving entails.)
I moved my kid at 12 years to
I moved my kid at 12 years to a new place. New for both of us and he thrived. He is now at college on scholarship studying for Biomed Engineering. It was the best move for both of us.
I moved all the time as a kid, father was a military officer. Kids are the better for it. It made me fiercely independent. If I wasn't moved from time to time, I wouldn't have had the ability to start my own company. Sometimes starting over is the best thing for everyone.
OP needs to do what is best for her. Hopefully, the kid will come along and be the better for it.
Moving can be beneficial.
Moving can be beneficial. It's not necessary a cruel and evil thing to subject a child too.
jsmom, I am sure your son also benefited from your healthy parenting. I believe parents are responsible for raising decent well adjusted kids- and you can take credit (partial because your son gets some). You should be proud.
shes saying this as she wants
shes saying this as she wants your DH to spend oodles to fight for custody and the right to take him to europe.
she doesnt want him but the CS comes in handy.
what is your husband going to do??
I don't know what he wants to
I don't know what he wants to do. He hasn't told me yet.
I think he is getting his ducks in a row. I can't believe how defeated he was when Biobitch said she didn't want SS, but she knew he won't go to Europe.
This kid is a paycheck to her and she uses him to punish DH. Nasty and sad!
The sad thing is I never
The sad thing is I never could have imagined that Biobitch - who I think nothing of!!- could sink so low. I can't get it over my heart that her son is a paycheck for her or a tool with which to make DHs life hell.
I only realized this yesterday: as you say tog , that she has turned on her own child because he is going to cramp her lifestyle and she is not interested in a full time "burden".
Still can't get over this.
By disengaging you pulled the
By disengaging you pulled the power rug out from underneath him. No longer can he irritate you so there is no point in misbehaving. It really is that simple which is why disengagement is so useful.
I hope Daddy tells, not asks, his son to join him. At this age a boy needs a father to take him to manhood. Staying with his mother could result in him never maturing. I say that with full knowledge that you'll leave (just when you won the battle). Nothing personal but if he's going to raise his kid you become secondary.
Its counter-intuitive but my
Its counter-intuitive but my disengagement worked. It's like a light switch was thrown.... I must seem ungrateful, but I am bewildered: the kid is well behaved!?! What is wrong with him?? Lol
:jawdrop:
I understand that kid needs his parents. I am just shocked at the games Biobitch plays. It actually convinced me that it's not that SS needs his father, it's that he is better off without the influence of his mother.
Sadly I think this kid must
Sadly I think this kid must be told the truth of his BM's bullshit. Dad needs to take him and BM needs to sigh custody over to dad regardless of what the kid wants.
Facts help give even kids clarity and if he knows the facts he will be able to better deal with the entire situation and adjust to the fact that his BM is a POS.
IMHO of course.
I think that this is a
I think that this is a Catch22 kind of situation... Tell him what BM has told DH in confidence and let SS decide if he want to stay with a parent who thinks he's more of a burden than a gift, and move with you a DH but always know/think about how your own MOTHER would rather live without you.
OR
Not tell him about what BM had told DH, and let him Choose if he was to move... Chances are DH will stay to be there for his son at such a vulnerable time in his life (puberty) and you have to move on your own.
You are right though JingerVZ... BM is an oober bitch, I can't believe there are actually people out there who don't what their own children... I would rather die than give ANY of my children (including SD3) to ANYONE full time. it's people like this that piss me off. Selfish... Just Selfish!