BM is a psychopath. She is an unfit mother that has no education, living in state housing and off of CS - she makes about $1200 a month between SS4 and her eldest son who is with another father. When her and DH got together her says he was trying to do the right thing and give her oldest son a father because his dad is a complete deadbeat - and then married her to give her son insurance, as she didn't work or anything. He urged her to go get her GED, college whatever she wanted to do....she did nothing but sit at home and spend his money as she didn't work. Once SS was born he understood she wanted to be a stay at home mom still and paid for everything until he literally would get off the boat (he works offshore) and would overdraft buying a pack of cigarettes. He would come home to no clean clothes even after being gone for 3 weeks because she was simply useless....he would have to come home another job rather than enjoying his time off. It amazes him how much more time he got with his son after divorce as with just his primary job, and my part-time job and helping me pay for school we still live a fairly nice lifestyle.

Well he basically got everything but a change of his clothes and his truck and only reason she couldn't fight for that is she doesn't know how to drive a standard. He literally walked away from everything just to get away from her and she drug the divorce out for over a year and told the state he was abusive - which is how she is now in state housing. She said he was mentally and emotionally abusive because he would blow up on her and tell her she was useless when he would have to come home and do laundry after being gone for 3 weeks (he has a while different wardrobe that stays at work so it's not like he was bring a sack home demanding her to do it) so he could go work another job, or because she wouldn't clean out the fridge and stuff would be molded that HE cooked before he left.

Fast forward me and him got together 6 months after the divorce and met online but I am the reason her marriage got wrecked. She has had random people I don't even know come up to me and tell me this because she has shown them my Facebook and preceded to trash talk me. Her eldest son came over the house one night when we first got together because SS4 asked if his bubba could come, I was uncomfortable but let it slide as I wanted what was best for SS. Her oldest son looked at me and basically told me I was a piece of shit and her mom had been Facebook stalking me and telling this child everything as far back to my ex fiancé - and his name. She is fucking nuts.

I have been cordial to her as much as my patience possibly will let me be. I have taken the trash talking and let it slide. I have had her destroy flash cards I bought for SS to teach him ABC's. I have bought SS clothes because she puts him in hand-me-downs that are twice his size and he needs nice clothes but she will say she bought them so they need to stay at her house. I thought maybe she was starting to realize I was going nowhere and I didn't want anything for the best because the trash talking had calmed down. She has heard me encourage SS to talk to his mom - and ask him to stop playing to talk to her I have done nothing but be cordial. I have done everything possibly to not step on her toes but be involved because he needs to know how a real woman should act.

Well - DH asked her if she wanted us to help with school supplies and she said yes. Turns out half the stuff she got she went to a local hand out to get and claims she bought it. We let SS pick out a backpack and a metal lunch pail that he adores...she says the lunch pail wouldn't work because it isn't insulated which is bullshit. She bought him a different one, and we blew it off until she yelled at me in front of SS that I bought the wrong glue and scissors. I had the list with me and tried my best to match it to a tee - and DH was expecting me at this point to jump out of the truck and rip out her hair. I stayed calm though and kept my mouth shut. He later talked to her and defended me saying we didn't have to buy any of the school supplies as he pays child support, and even if I may have got the wrong stuff (I didn't) that she should be appreciative there is someone trying to give her child the best. Right before this incident was SS4 meet and greet for Pre-K where she tried to sign them in as they were married and one happy family which he crossed his name out and put his and SS on the line below. He again defended me and asked that she respect our relationship. He is very good about having my back...

After the meet and greet incident and him knowing I went to my ex-SD's first day and me and her mom were cordial and that I would like to be there for SS he asked me if I wanted to go. I said yes and got in the truck with him the morning of which of course she was late to it was his first day ever and she brought him late. I gave SS a hug and did the right thing by letting DH and BM walk him in without me where I guess she spotted I was wearing my ring ( I don't always where it because we are outside a lot working on random projects). She made a comment and started to cry while walking out of the school DH ignored it and we went on our marry way.

Yesterday being his second day he didn't want to go - he has never been to daycare or anything. She went up there and he was crying he wanted to go home. She proceeded to text DH that we couldn't have him last night because he was upset and wanted to go to her house because we were evil for making him go to school. It technically was not our time to have him but this time home we gave up time so he could attend his brother’s birthday - and so we could have him until DH left to go back to work. She agreed to this deal and we have the deal in writing but she told DH there wasn't a damn thing he could do and we could pick SS up on Thursday as stated in the original papers. I think this is complete bullshit because you have to let a kid adjust - you don't go visit on the 2nd day of school whether it was me or it was his dad or whoever he would have cried that we were mean and he wanted to go home. She is being somewhat cordial now and will let us have him tonight as long as tomorrow we let her have him for visitation after school - DH is way too nice.

Well, what she doesn't know is yesterday after her bitch more DH went the lawyer and talked to him. He told DH that we can get custody at the end of the school year - we have to have an establishment of better repore - though we have a good record already and give her enough time to get on her feet and all that as it has barely been a year since the divorce - but once she has had sufficient amount of time and we can prove she is unfit DH can have her. I think this is wonderful because DH is the best dad anyone could ask for. He wants to be in his son’s life and give him nothing but the best. The only drawback is we can't even have a beer around his son until the end of the year for the simple fact of he told his mom we would have a beer sometimes and she has called us drunks and losers - which is about the only thing she has against us. This means I have to be a tad more involved with school and activities as I normally would but that is fine. The suckiest part is we must follow the exact papers - and we cannot blow up on her or anything to show that we want nothing but the best...but come next Summer she is going to have a big fucking surprise. She will have no money, her state appointed lawyer she used for the divorce will have expired and we have multiple things besides just her being a deadbeat that look bad against her. I don't want to take her son away from her but I do not believe that someone should be able to live off of strictly child support and provide the kid with a bare minimum lifestyle. He would still give her almost exclusive time while he was gone as to give me a break but she would get no more $$ and a huge fucking wake up call.

I can't wait to see her face after all of this is done I am just regretting both of us having to keep our mouths completely shut appeasing her.