You are absolutely right, some people should not be parents!!! My DH won't even ask his ex to take his son on the weekends (because she won't take him). So I have his son on the weekends while he works, and to top it off, he gets mad at me when I say I need a break!!!

I'm dealing with this too. My fiance has joint custody with his ex wife, but we have his daughter the bulk of the time. We're trying to figure out what we're going to do about this, since 2 weeks ago she basically dropped her off and told us that she'll be back when she'll be back... it could be months before she has her daughter in her care.

A couple of weeks ago, she screamed at my fiance and called him a "loser" among other things, for not being able to pick SD up a day early the 1 time in I don't know how long we made her mom accountable for her 2 weeks with her own child. Her reason for doing so? She had to help her boyfriend put together a drying room for his pot. Niiice.

BM has decided that she is tired of the SDs 5 and 7 and is going to give full care to us and she will see them every other weekend. Means a bit of a change for us but will be okay, we are just waiting for her to get the legal stuff done. She wants us to have them every weekend for six weeks in August while she goes overseas but doesn't want to change custody until the end of he year because she will lose the family assistance (that the government pays per child here in NZ) and thinks she will have a high paying job by then so will be able to afford not to get the payments!! She has contacted the IRD to stop my DH having to pay child support hoping that we will agree to have them in Aug without her changing the custody set up. Problem is if we don't she will probably send them to a friends house which is filthy and where they don't get fed properly and DH doesn't want that. So, she wins again!!!!

I really don't know how you deal with stuff like that, but it's like that with us too and i don't deal with it very well. In fact all this has caused us to get separated and possibly a divorce because my DH won't do anything about this. All my DH wants to do is see his kids and raise them but no matter what the cost to me or what I have to put up with. He would rather get rid of me than to fight his ex wife on anything about the kids!!! I am devastated!

For all of you its seems the only course of action is to get custody of the kids if possible. Many women don't want kids once they come along. If it weren't for shame* they wouldn't keep them around. Try bribing the ex. Continued child support for a year "to help her get on her feet or new living quarters".

You have married a guy whose kids come first - thank God for the kids sake. You can either help him or get out of the way.

*By shame I mean that society generally expects all women, married ones at least, to have and love children. Some women find it shameful they don't share those feelings. Personally I admire the ones who just stand up before having children and just say so.

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There's an exception to everything I say.