BM texting me... (Venting)
The short of it is that after 6 years of not getting along with BM we finally communicate. I have always been super open. She is a horrible excuse for a mother BUT Ss loves her so what am I to do? We have had SS full time for over 3 years now and I disengage. I do things like take him to the airport and pick him up from school OCCASIONALLY, and keep bm informed on things like flight, grades, etc. Don't get me wrong it is not just me by any means, DH has opened his line of communication as well. I do these things to give DH a break when I can. It is easier to just let it go. The courts have spoken their piece time and time again. No matter how wrong we may think her actions, ss loves her and the court makes it so.
I believe now that my kindness has been mistaken as giving a F^<*! BM will text me and tell me things like " tell SS that I will call him tomorrow I am sick". I respond "okay feel better". Which I would to ANY one! She didn't call btw and how nice it must be to get a sick day from your part time "mommy" job. She text me the other day and let me know how wonderful it was speaking with me and how 2015 is going to be a great year... Now I don't mean to sound crazy, BUT I was taught that you catch more Bees with honey. Minus one incident where I let her have it I am pretty cordial. I really hope she doesn't think that this means we're friends. We live so far away that it behooves us to have some relationship. Let's just say I am not planning on inviting this lady to any holiday dinners. Small price to pay to not have to see her "negative nancy" self again I spose. Just venting.
Be careful. Protect
Be careful. Protect yourself. She cannot ever think that you will bend over backward to satisfy this child she so desperately loves. I've learned BM's are sneaky, and often have their own agenda.
Just be careful, and dont get used to being super open.
Do not trust her one bit... I
Do not trust her one bit... I still need to learn this as well... they start nice and will try to bring you down.
If you feel a need to
If you feel a need to communicate just keep it business like. Short an to the point. There is no need to be all chatty nor go out of your way to be her text/email buddy.
Your choice. You have nothing to discuss with her that isn't purely SS related and should feel no need to say more than absolute necessary for whatever topic the communication was needed in the first place. If you'd rather you didn't open up the door to her contacting you? Close the door now and have DH do it. It is his responsibility.
Amen! I am not her friend. I
Amen! I am not her friend. I don't act like her friend. I speak to her because I lose nothing doing so. I just find it humorous that she has this mistaken it as some sort of "on the verge of friendship". Makes me smile, how sad that she has no true friends in her life.
Score one for me!!!
I don't know how other people do it. I have just tried to always be the bigger person. Now she sees it. Friends close and enemies closer. Thanks for the concern! I just truly find humor in her trying to be on my level after all these years. Karma.
Have you ever just been
Have you ever just been overly nice to someone that you dislike? Watch them squirm... And after all these years she has figured out that she only makes herself miserable by fighting... Even after all my posts on this forum, she would never see me sweat. F HER
Most likely she is up to
Most likely she is up to something. I am cordial to my ex's new gal, but see no need to be buddies. She most likely feels the same as she appears to be a together lady with a lot going for her and she doesn't cross boundaries with the kids. I am not so lucky when it comes to DH side of things - My DH's ex likes to butter us up right before she pounces. It is sooooo transparent. She has badmouthed me all over town and doesnt have a nice thing to say about me, but then likes to turn on the sugary sweet tone once in awhile and I know instantly that something is up. A week ago I could hear her shouting that I was a whore through the telephone, then two days ago she got all sappy sweet and wanted to talk about having a joint grad party for SD who lives with us full time. I can totally see what she is up to. Appearances are everything to this woman. Having her daughter not live with her is terribly embarrassing. This will be extremely awkward at graduation, and if she has her own celebration, she worries nobody will show up. Why not butter me up to get her way? Now that I said, "No way" to a joint grad party all hell is going to break loose. Im ready though. I've dealt with worse people than the likes of her.
My sd Bm tried to friend me.
My sd Bm tried to friend me. I was a first time step mom and didn't know all of what I know now. Don't talk to that Biotch. You keep trying to catch those bees they will bite you! Like the other poster said, let DH deal with her. From my experience if you keep going on like you, she will try to steal your identity and belittle you to the kids to get them to hate and turn on you. Let DH be the bad guy. It's for his benefit, not yours.